Saturday, July 18, 2015

Date Nights & Marriage

Two of my favorite things...
*1* Date nights with my handsome husband...
*2* Wine....chilled Pinot Grigio to be exact.

I'm not a "wine connoisseur", but I know what I like, and I know what I don't like.
I have a palate for expensive reds (Merlot), and cheap to moderately priced Pinot Grigio.
I don't drink red much because the only reds I like are the really good ones, and they're not really good on my bank account.

I've blogged a few times about the local winery (Messina Hof) that is just 15 minutes away from our house that we like to frequent.
I love their Pinot Grigio, the restaurant has pretty great food and wine pairings, and I love the property it sits on.
When we first moved to College Station, my high school Geometry teacher and a friend of his went in on a generous gift card for Nick and I to Messina Hof.
It was a "random act of kindness" gift, which we ended up "paying it forward" in our own way.
We had planned on using it on our Anniversary when Nick got us a room there for a weekend, but we left it at home!
Last night, Dannika was invited to our neighbor's house for a slumber party, and they graciously offered to watch Mattis for a few hours so that Nick and I could go out for a mini date night.
PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO FINALLY USE THAT GIFT CARD! 
So, off we went!

We shared a bottle of my favorite Pinot Grigio.

Nick sampled a sweet red called "beau". 
He likes the sweet wines...me...not so much.

They have this gorgeous lake on the property filled with hundreds of turtles!
We got some turtle food, and went to feed them.

 SO MANY!
That big one on the right hand side of this photo is a soft shell turtle.

I've blogged quite a bit about marriage.
Nick and I are normal, and just like every other normal married couple, we hit our ups and downs.
The beginning of last year was particularly rough on our marriage just from all the separations and reintegration catching up to us.
Mixed in with the fact that I was just miserable living in New England, we were a recipe for disaster.
Thankfully, with some outside help through church and marriage counseling, we got ourselves back on track!
I'm not gonna say it was easy...
I'm not gonna say it was fun...
And I'm DEFINITELY not gonna say it happened fast...
But you know what?
It was worth it.
One thing we learned through the process of getting through a difficult time in our marriage was to continually date each other.
When we were sorting out our issues, we had realized that the last time we had gone on a date night was before Mattis was born (almost a year!).
We realized how important date nights were when our counselor pointed out how often Nick and I had been away from each other because of the Marine Corps.
It's like we have to really make the effort to be together alone when he IS home.

The divorce rate in the country is like 50% or something, and the divorce rate in the military is even higher.
This life can suck a person dry, and I truly believe marriage in "this life" takes twice as much effort than a "normal marriage".
But I know lots of military couples who have been married 20-30 years in this life, and are stronger than ever, so it gives me a little hope that all is not lost with marriage in the military.

I can proudly say that for the last year and half, Nick and I have made it a POINT to go out on AT LEAST one date night a month without the kids. 
It's truly made a world of difference in our marriage, and I really can't remember a time when we've been a stronger couple.
Our kids see us loving each other, and realize the importance of "mommy and daddy" getting away for a bit.
Dannika gets giddy with excitement when she sees me getting ready and all dressed up for a date night with her daddy.
So here we are...

My non expert (but awesome) advice....
"Date yo spouse!"

4 comments:

  1. Sounds like a wonderful date night to me!

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  2. I love reading your marriage advice!

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  3. Look at you two with your date nights and your wine! I love it, now if only I could get one of those in my life. Want to watch my kids? LOL

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