Growing Up Military & Last Day of 4th Grade Thoughts

Yesterday was Dannika's last day of school...her last day as a 4th grader. Fifth grade feels so much more grown up than 4th grade, and realizing that she'll be 12-13 years old when we PCS from Yuma is so beyond my wildest thoughts. How did my sweet bald baby (that we swore would never grow hair) turn into an almost 10 year old?!

She seriously had NO hair until she was literally 4 years old.

The moment I became a mother, all the "seasoned" parents would cock their head to side, sigh a big sigh, longingly smile, and say, "they grow up so fast, enjoy every moment". It's not that I didn't believe them, but I honestly didn't realize just how fast it would happen. I had Dannika when I was 25 years old. In today's standards, that's actually pretty young. More women are opting to wait to have children to establish careers, buy homes, etc. these days.

Military families tend to be really young. Military life is lonely without a partner to share it with. Because of that, in my experience, I have noticed that marriage and families happen faster than my civilian counterparts (generally speaking).

I thought I was so mature and ahead of my peers at 25 years old, but looking back now, I realize I had no clue what I was doing...or who I was. I was naive (and didn't realize it), and I had a baby to keep alive. Hell...I could barely keep myself alive some days. Praise the Lord for daycare. Ms. Kathi (Dannika's daycare provider) basically made sure Dannika wouldn't end up TOO messed up during that time. I am sure of it. After all, she spent 10-12 hours a day at Ms. Kathi's daycare while I served in the Marines.

I often refer to Dannika as my "Marine life sidekick". She's been through it all with me from the very beginning. When Nick deployed for the first time to Afghanistan, she was only 6 months old. It was just her and me. Nick's first deployment to Afghanistan was rough for me.

He subsequently deployed to Afghanistan one more time when she was 2. Then, when she was 3 years old, Nick got orders to Boston. I was still active duty. and waiting to be discharged. Once again, her and I were solo together without Nick for a year (in Orange County). We've been through a lot together as a mother/daughter duo. I always have a special place in my heart just for Dannika.

I have all sorts of emotions this week. She's starting to enter puberty (insert cry face emoji here), and it scares the ever living hell out of me. I was such an awful preteen, teenager, and adolescent, and I am praying that she is nothing like I was. Someone once told me that motherhood isn't for the faint of heart. I might have laughed to myself when I heard that at first, but as my kids get older and gain more individuality, I am realizing just how true that statement is. I struggle some days with putting ALL my faith in God. I am a control freak by nature, and it's really hard for me to completely surrender to anything, let alone faith. But of course, when motherhood gets really tough, I really have no choice but to surrender. So with that...here we go...to 5th grade...

Dannika started the school year off in College Station, TX. Then we moved here to Yuma, AZ, and enrolled her into the public school that was zoned for our neighborhood. We had come from such an amazing (and high performing) school district that when we came here, she was bored. I'll have to do a blog post in the future about moving around and switching school districts. We looked into other options for her to make sure she would be challenged academically, and found Southwestern Christian School. It has been an amazing fit for her academically, and most importantly, spiritually.

Dream big, sweet girl.

When Your Own Expectations of Parenting are Too High

As sat in my kitchen, painstakingly assembling 24 "gumball machine" Valentines for Mattis' class, I began to wonder...

"I wonder if he'll appreciate all this time and energy I am putting into his class Valentines."

I could have easily just gone to the grocery store, and bought some cute Superhero Valentines for him to pass out to his class. You know, the ones that come in packs of 24 where you have to tear along the perforated edges to separate each card. But no, he asked if I could find him "gumball Valentines". If you haven't been in the "Valentines Day" aisle at your local grocery store, there is no such thing as "gumball Valentines". I had to scour the Internet, and finally found some Pinterest-worthy Valentines for Mattis to pass out to his classmates. Little did I know that these little suckers were the IKEA furniture of Valentines. It took me over an hour to assemble 24 Valentines.

I know they look pretty simple, but I assure you, THEY. WERE. NOT. I carefully counted out 10 gumballs a piece into the little clear plastic cellophane bags...then had to twist the open end to stick into a tiny hole at the bottom of the "gumball machine"...tape the part of the bag that was poking through the back down to the back of the Valentine so that it wouldn't slip out...and then taped down the top of the bag with a cute little heart sticker to give the Valentine the illusion of a gumball machine with actual gumballs inside of it. 

I kept thinking to myself, "I hope that one day, when Mattis is Dr. Romer or General Romer (or whatever his little heart desires to be) that he will tell someone the story about that one time his mom spent HOURS making gumball Valentines for his class."

Truth is, who knows if he'll even remember.

But as a mom, I struggle constantly with trying to make every. single. little. detail. of my children's lives special. My husband constantly rolls his eyes at me and my craziness when it comes to the things I "celebrate" for my kids. (I married a superstar though, and he always goes along with it)

"What?? It's President's Day?!? let's break out the red, white, and blue streamers, and have George Washington shaped pancakes!!!" (Just kidding. I have never celebrated President's day with my kids, nor have I made GW shaped pancakes.). But I do make each and every "major" holiday a big fiesta in our home to the point where I stress out sometimes. 

I just want my kids to have memorable childhoods. One of my biggest fears is that my children will grow older and say things like, "so and so's parents did this for them." Or even worse..."my childhood was just ok...nothing memorable." I would be devastated if my kids ever thought that!

I had a wonderful childhood. My parents worked. A LOT. But when they did take time off from work, we went on extravagant vacations. My passport was pretty full by the time I was 18. My dad took us on road trips all over the United States. We even took a random road trip to Hot Springs, Arkansas once...just because. So random. But we went. I think about those memories often.

Because both of my parents worked, they also missed out on things. My mom was never a "room mom", and she never volunteered at my school. As a little kid, I remember being jealous of the kids whose parents helped out in the classroom all the time. So because of this memory, I literally tire myself out trying to volunteer as much as possible at both my childrens' schools while simultaneously

trying to run a household...oftentimes alone because my husband is a Marine. I have a hard time saying "no" when my kid's teachers ask for my help. I literally will reconfigure my entire schedule and my life to be at their school. It sucks.

This is why I am the way I am. As a Christian woman, I know that my parenting should be solely focused on Him. Leading my children to Him. Teaching my children about HIS never ending and unconditional love. 

"But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, but the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit." -Titus 3:4-5

I'm human though, and I find myself trying to selfishly please myself by trying to throw myself into every aspect of my children's lives hoping that one day, they'll think I was worthy enough to be their mom. When in reality, I should be spending more energy showing my children of how worthy they are because of God. 

Parenting is tough. It's so cliché, but it's the truth. Everyone wouldn't be saying it, if it weren't. We as parents all have a fear of failing our children and/or raising children that don't meet our own expectations. 

I constantly have to stop and tell myself, "am I doing this to my kids so they meet MY expectations? Does this glorify God?"

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and Mattis has 24 adorable "gumball Valentines" just like he requested. He is so excited to pass them out. Who knows...maybe one day at the office, he'll tell a coworker about "that one time" when his mom assembled the coolest Valentines for him. Most likely not. But I'm ok with that. As much as I complained to myself as I put those gumball machines together, seeing the joy on his face when he came home and saw them laying on the counter made my heart burst....

So I'll keep being over the top and ridiculous with the things I do for my kids (while silently complaining at times), because the joy I see on their faces in that moment is what I live for. I'll just have to be ok with the fact that they won't remember every single little thing I did for them when they are older. And I pray every single night after I've put them to bed...that I was a "good enough" example to them of what it truly means to be a Christ follower. 

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day tomorrow, friends!

When Being a Stay at Home Mom Feels Unimportant

SIX days until Christmas. How did this happen? It was literally Thanksgiving like a week ago, right?! I thought I'd do a better job keeping up with this thing, but based on my last post, I have failed miserably. I feel like our family has been non-stop for the last month! Between Christmas shopping, weddings, kids class parties, working out, and being a wife, life hasn't been very generous with extra time for me.

It's actually shocking at how busy I am despite the fact that both of my kids are in school during the day, and I don't work. Every time I go to the nail salon, the nail lady ALWAYS asks me, "you off work today?" I always answer with, "I'm a stay at home mom", to which they reply with a judgmental tone, "what do you do all day when your kids are in school?"

It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I think I tend to compare my life as a mom now to my former life as a Marine, and that is a dangerous slope to go down. My life's purpose has changed drastically in the last 5 years, and there are days when I dwell on my former life as a career woman that led our nation's finest. My current life consists of volunteering in my son's Kindergarten classroom with a bunch of kids who don't wash their hands, but constantly want to touch me. Oh, and being the doting "trophy" wife to my wonderful Marine hubby (insert sarcasm).

Does this mean I wish I was back in the Marine Corps? Absolutely not. I love my life. I love being able to be so involved in my children's lives and in their schools.

 I love walking into my son's classroom to volunteer and see his face light up at the sight of me. 

I am fully aware at how blessed I am to be able to live a life where I do not have to work to provide for our family. I love baking and cooking goodies to send to work with my husband for his Marines. I love having dinner ready as soon as my husband walks in the door from a long day's work. But this life is so drastically different than just 6 short years ago that I still have days when I don't feel "important". I hear this is a common feeling amongst veterans that are finding their way in civilian life after service.

Anyway, I am hoping in the new year that I can finally get this blog updated to match my "not so new anymore" domain name. I thought of switching it over to Wordpress, but I'm pretty happy and comfortable here on blogger. My content is not changing, and this is just a little side hobby that I have, so staying here just seems right. I will probably post a "year in review" post towards the end of the month before 2019.

If you want to see what is going on in our life, just follow me on instagram @semperag_blog

Hope everyone is having a stress free and cheerful holiday season!

Here is our 2018 Christmas card (front and back)

Thanks to Shutterfly, of course!

When Your Kid Grows Up While Daddy is Away

This is Dannika when we first moved here to College Station. She was 5 years old, and had just started Kindergarten.

This is Dannika today. She is 9 years old, and just starting 4th grade.

Today is the first time I looked at Dannika and thought, "Oh my gosh! She is really a 'big' girl!" Since 3rd grade, she is significantly more mature. She has grown so much emotionally, physically, and mentally. It's hard to grasp that she is the same little girl in the first photo. 

During parent orientation for third grade (last year), I remember her teacher saying that "3rd grade is when they seem to grow the most." I nodded in agreement, and went on with my life. But in the blink of an eye, it happened. I looked at Dannika today, and realized that she is a completely different girl than she was a year ago. She is SO much more mature. I can leave her at home alone (with Mattis) for an 1-2 hours during the day while I run errands, go to the gym, etc. If Mattis is misbehaving, she texts me from her iPad. She sets her own alarm in the mornings. She picks out her own clothes. She's like a miniature grown up. 

If you keep up with my life, you know that Nick has even gone since September of last year. He's come home for most holidays, but for the most part, he has been living in a different state than us. This is nothing new for our family. As a military family, I have spent more time alone than with my husband due to his (and my) commitment to the Marine Corps. Nick missed countless holidays and milestones in our family because of the Marine Corps. But, this year...has been the hardest. You would think that him being in combat would be the hardest, but honestly, it wasn't. I think when he was in Afghanistan, I went into "la la land". I refused to believe the conditions he was in, and refused to think that he could possibly not come home. I lived in my safe bubble, to protect my heart from the possible worst news...every military wife's worst nightmare...the "knock at the door". 

Thinking about Dannika today just made me so sad that Nick missed an entire year of her life when she did so much growing. We did our best to make him a part of our life while he was away through phone calls and FaceTime, but it's never enough. He's not home for dinner time shenanigans, bath times, bedtime conversations, family movie nights, family game nights, ice cream dates, etc. etc. etc. I can go on and on. But my heart is most broken of the fact that he missed this entire year that our daughter grew so much.

I know it doesn't get easier. Everyone keeps reminding me that puberty is on the horizon, and that I need to enjoy this time while she likes me. But I can't think about the horrors of puberty as a military wife. Our "right now" sucks because we've been apart from the better half of our family (and trust me...Nick is the better half...I'm a hot mess). 

Anyway, regardless of all of this "blog vomit", I know that our life as a military family is for God's glory. Although, my prayers sometimes consist of a lot of "why me" and "you must hate me", I have comfort in knowing that I am the daughter of a King who allows me to be mad at Him. He allows me to yell at Him. He allows me to use Him as a "punching bag". And yet...He still chooses to love me, pursue me, comfort me, and be my friend. 

"I can never escape from your Sprit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there." (Psalm 139:7-8)

I hope everyone has an awesome Labor Day Weekend! Follow me at on Instagram @SemperAg_blog , and message me!

"Your grace so free, washes over me."

I heard a song by Northpoint music on the local Christian radio station (Peace 107) this morning on my way home from church, and the lyrics (that I made the title of this blog post) just stood out to me. The song is called "Death was Arrested" (in case any of y'all want to hear it).

I'm a BIG fan of secular music...even the slightly inappropriate stuff. If y'all know me, I am a HUGE Tupac fan. I also am a lover of old school country music, and even the new stuff. I love Florida Georgia Line...even though true country music lovers claim they are an abomination in the country music scene...but I like it. Mattis' current jam is Liam Payne's "Strip That Down". He literally calls it "my jam", and we listen (to the edited version) every morning on our way to school. But I also love worship music. I listen to it in my car when I'm alone sometimes, and it brings me a lot of peace and calmness...especially before a busy day.

Anyway, the lyrics, "Your grace so free, washes over me" really resonated with me today. For those know who me well, know my personal testimony. Lots of really emotional and messed up stuff that has happened in my life from the ages of 16 to 26ish. What really got me back "on track" as far as my relationship with Christ was accepting the fact that His grace was free. There was nothing I needed to do to earn back his forgiveness. Any time I hear something about His amazing grace, I am always reminded of my broken past. It always overwhelms me to think that I serve a God who loved me in the midst of the darkest hours in life...when I was destroying my life and my relationship with Him. He continued to love me.

Anyway, speaking of grace...this mama needed LOTS of grace this past week! 
I mean, y'all...
RED RIBBON WEEK.....
I know you moms out there get it.
A "themed" dress up day every day.
And if you have a child like mine, your child suffers from FOMO...bad...
So I have to make sure that she has something to wear for every day of the week.

Oh, and Red Ribbon week is not even over!!!!!!!!!!!! This year is like an extended red ribbon week. It goes until Halloween!!

Good Lord...give me some grace...because I have definitely fought with my 8 year old this week about each theme day....

Let's go through this....

 So Monday was the start of Red Ribbon week...

Guess when I found out it was Red Ribbon week?!

I found out MONDAY morning, when my panicked daughter ran into the kitchen waving a red paper with all the info for each dress up day on it...

I simply told her, "it's not my fault you failed to give me this vital, red piece of paper earlier so I could help you prepare. Guess you're not participating!" (then she cried)

It was crazy sock day.

My child has no crazy socks...

And after some tears, she literally emerged from the garage with these Elsa and Anna socks that were shoved inside her roller blades.

I don't ever recall buying her these socks.

I don't think they belong to her.

They were probably left at our house by one of her friends on a playdate.

I don't think know if they were clean...

They probably stunk...

But she was happy she had them...

FOMO was cured...

Day 2.

Favorite team shirt day!

Easy!

Aggies...duh, and since half her wardrobe is maroon or "Aggie themed"...easy day!

FOMO crisis averted.

Day 3...

Wear red day.

We have ONE red shirt.

It is a shirt she got from cheer camp two summers ago, and it sorta fits.

I was gonna make her wear that, because this mama does not have time to go buy a red shirt for Red Ribbon week,

But praise Jesus for my friend Katy (the mother of Dannika's BFF), who randomly got these adorable shirts made for Dannika and all her besties.

FOMO crisis averted...again...thanks to my super "extra" mom friend...

(And Dannika's eyes look super Asian in this pic...kinda makes me happy because people always tell me she looks more white than Korean)

Day 4...

CRAZY HAIR DAY.

OH MY LORT....

D told me Wednesday (wear red day) that she wanted turquoise hair.

I told her if I can't find turquoise colored hair spray at Walgreens, she's not having turquoise hair.

I was not about to drive around town to Target and Wal-Mart to look for turquoise hair spray. 

Thankfully, Walgreens had it (in their Halloween aisle).

Then comes Thursday morning....

We're already running late, and D does NOT know how she wants her hair done...

Two pigtail buns?

No.

A "mohawk" braid?

No.

Pigtails? 

No.

"Well hell child...then i'm just putting your hair up in a ponytail and spraying it turquoise!"

Tear...lots of tears.

Pinterest to the rescue.

We finally agreed on a "bow bun" (Praise Jesus, because it was simple").

We were late for everything that morning (insert eyeroll)

Day 5...

School Spirit day!!! Wear your school shirt!

Simple right?

No...not in this family.

Thursday night, I asked D to get her school shirt out of her dresser and lay it out.

Panicked Dannika claims she can not find it!

Me: Well, then you're not wearing it. I'm not here to keep track of your clothes.

Tears. Lots of tears.

Then she decides that she will just wear "last year's" school shirt (which is purple...this year's is black),

I already know she's gonna suffer from FOMO when she shows up to school in last year's style, while everyone else is in this year's look.

Thankfully, I just happened to be folding laundry, and her current school shirt appeared.

FOMO crisis averted..,one last time for the week.

We still have two more days.

Tomorrow is camo day, and I actually found a Marine marpat cammie blouse in her size.

She'll be representin' all you devildogs tomorrow!

Tuesday is storybook character day, and my "extra" mom friend Katy hooked up all our girls with Dr. Seuss' "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" costumes!

Seriously...she is a lifesaver.

Everyone needs a mom friend like her in their life!

I will share those on my IG page this week (@dcb_blog)

And lastly...

My son's very first school photo. 

Seriously....do they get ANY cuter?!?!

I'll answer that question for you...no, they don't.

Flying Solo

Welp....
I am on week 4(ish) of being a "solo parent". I have a solid routine down, and most days seem to fly by. I love routine. I am a creature of habit, and a good routine always makes me happy and less anxious. I feel more in control. People always ask me how I'm doing, and I tell them things are great. I feel like sometimes, they don't believe me when I say that. But seriously, things are great. Are there days when I'm absolutely frustrated because my kids aren't listening to me, and I am desperately wishing my partner in crime were here to "take care of it" for me? Absolutely. But honestly, even if Nick were here, I would still have days like that. I really just miss having another adult in the house most evenings when I am winding down. I miss having a glass of wine, and having someone to talk to. When people ask me how I'm doing, I also always mention that it sucks more for Nick than me. I truly believe that. I have a life here. I have a home, our children, our family and friends, and familiarity. Nick, on the other hand, is living in a barracks room with two other roommates. When he's not training, boredom sets in, and he literally has nothing to do. He's found ways to make himself busy. Marine Corps life has blessed us with friends all over the country, and on weekends, he finds himself in one of the homes of the many friends we have in Virginia. I am so grateful for our friends who have opened up their homes to Nick to feed him home cooked meals, and allow him to relax and hang out outside of the confines of the tiny room he is living in.

Pic of his room...

Quite the adjustment from our modest little home in a nice subdivision here in good ole' Aggieland...lol.

I especially love the luxurious plastic matresses...

Only the best for our Marine Corps Officers!

One of my FAVORITE things about Marine Corps life are the friendships that I have with people all over the world. When you are forced to live far away from home, you're forced to make friends...fast...with the people that are around you. You always know which friendships are the most meaningful, because those friends actually come and visit you when you move. 

This weekend, my sweet friend Ashley flew to Texas from Orange County to visit us (just for the weekend). I met her while I was on recruiting duty when I was in the process of trying to put her "then" boyfriend into the Marine Corps. She was only in high school then, and I have watched her grow up from a 17 year old high school girl to a 24 year old woman. She actually complimented my Vince Camuto, patent leather heels....and the rest is history. I texted her right before Nick left, and told her how I'd love for her to come visit once Nick was gone. It's always nice to have visitors to help break up the monotony of solo parenting life, and she did not even hesitate. I am so grateful for her friendship. My kids had SUCH a blast this weekend with her! The weekend was too short, but much needed, and our short time together was priceless.

Our family has an annual pumpkin carving tradition.

We all go to a pumpkin patch, pick out pumpkins and carve them

It's one of Nick's favorite traditions,

Since he's not here this year for the fall, we just went to our local HEB and bought pumpkins.

Instead of carving them, I bought craft supplies and paint, so we could decorate them.

We had such a blast, and it was a perfect way to end our weekend with Ashley!

*Dannika's pumpkin says "Rey", because thats who she's gonna be for Halloween!

(I don't know who Rey is. I just know she's a Star Wars character. I've never seen a single Star Wars movie, but my kids have with Nick.....)

Dannika, Me, and Mattis...

Mattis, Dannika, Me, and Ashley

It's clearly obvious which pumpkin was made by the "OC girl".

Ashley was such a blessing to us this weekend!

With Nick being gone, I really enjoyed having another grown up in the house.

Most importantly, the kids were thrilled to have someone visit them, and give them attention and spend time with them.

True friends pick each other's boogers...

Ashley left early this morning before the kids woke up for school.

Not gonna lie, the house felt a little lonelier this morning, and the mood was a little sad.

That just means that our weekend was full of love and laughter.

Oh, and it's Red Ribbon Week at D's school!

Today was Crazy Sock Day....

We did not prepare....

Thank goodness we just happened to have these random "Elsa/Anna" socks laying around for her!

So...

Life is good. The kids and are I happy, healthy, and busy. We miss Nick terribly, but we are always reminded that we made the right choice to stay put while Nick is at TBS. Our family and friends are so amazing, and have truly been such an amazing support system for us! 

A Belated Father's Day Post

I love Father's Day. I feel like dads don't get nearly as much credit as they deserve when it comes to parenting. I'm not discounting the role that mothers play in parenting, but oftentimes, father's are seen as "babysitters" and incapable of doing anything as good as a mom can. When in reality, most of the fathers I know are the most competent, nurturing, caring, and loving individuals who play an important role in their children's lives. I experience this firsthand, every day, with my own husband.

Nick is so intentional in his way when it comes to how he leads our family and raising our two beautiful kids. He gives baths, he has changed diapers, packed lunches, chauffeured D to gymnastics, piano, etc, cleans the house, does the dishes, gets the kids dressed, and so much more. When our kids were infants and up at all hours of the night needing to be fed, whether I was breastfeeding or bottle feeding, he always woke up WITH me just to be awake with me. Even after my insistence that he go back to sleep, he always stayed awake and watched me feed our children. He oftentimes woke up without waking me, to change their diapers and feed them in the middle of the night, just so I could sleep. I'd wake up in a panic the next morning thinking that my child was starving and in a full diaper because I forgot to set my alarm, only to realize that he had shut my alarm off to take care of "night ops" (as we called it) with the baby. He tucks them in at night and says prayers with them. He never says no when one of them slowly opens the door to our bedroom (long after being tucked in) because they need "fresh water". No matter how comfortable he's gotten in our own bed, he always gets up, without complaint, gets fresh water, and re-tucks them into bed. He is our children's biggest hero and cheerleader. As long as military duty hasn't kept him away, he has been present at every single special moment in our kids' lives (sometimes via Facetime even). He takes our daughter out on dates and pulls out all the stops. He teaches our son the importance of respecting women through his actions on the way he treats D and me.

What's odd is that Nick never had the greatest role models when it came to fathers. His own father is far removed from his life, and his step dad was always on the road as a truck driver for most of his formidable years of life. His mom practically raised him as a "single mom". I truly believe that Nick gets his parental instincts (what some people might call "maternal instincts") from the fact that he had such an amazing role model in his own mother (the late, Sandra). She often played the role of father and mother to him, and she rocked it (obviously).

And of course, if y'all keep up with my blog, know that my relationship with my own father was not always the greatest. I had a great childhood, a god awful teen/adolescent period, and over the last few years since being married and having my own children, my relationship with my father has slowly improved. My dad's not a man of many words. In fact, I've never spoken to him for longer than a minute or two on the phone. When we do talk in person, our conversations are shallow (mostly about current events, sports, the newest gadget on the market). However, my dad is a man of God, and the most powerful thing he does is pray for me every single day. I've watched my dad pray for me into tears, and that is more powerful than anything. Watching the leader of our family reduced to sobbing tears as he prays for me has shown me his soft heart and his sensitive nature. Because of that, my dad doesn't have to say many words to me. I know and feel how much he loves me, and how deep his love for me is. My dad is a man that would give me the world if he could (my dad's love language is "giving gifts"...lol). While "receiving gifts is a love language, my dad's love language is truly "giving gifts". It's how he shows his love, gratitude, and appreciation. I know my dad is proud of me and the woman I've become, and he doesn't have to say it out loud.

So with that, Happy (belated) Father's Day to my wonderful husband and my wonderful dad. Thanks for being so deliberate with your love for your children/grandchildren. Thanks for setting the bar so high when it comes to fatherhood. Love you.

Photo from my actual BIRTHday!

Y'all know I like to go ALL OUT for little celebrations!

It drives Nick crazy, but he secretly loves it.

I made it a "Father's Day" weekend for him!

On Friday night, the kids and I took him to his favorite burger joint in town, Grub Burger.

Saturday night, I took him to dinner (sans kiddos) at our favorite taco joint (Mad Taco), and to see Wonder Woman in theaters. 

Nick loves movies...I don't. So it was a big deal that I was willing to sit through a movie in a theater with him...and surprise...I DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP, Y'ALL!

Sunday morning, D and I woke up at 6am to go to a local specialty doughnut place (Kai's donuts) in town to grab kolaches and donuts for Nick!

I also got him a new table saw (not pictured), and a bucket of his favorite snacks and stuff.

He got himself a root beer at the Father's Day tent at church.

Then we headed over to our friend's house to swim, have drinks, and grill burgers!

 The kids ended up swimming for 6 hours!

They were EXHAUSTED!

 And because I can't pass up an opportunity to take a photo of a gorgeous Texas sunset....

I couldn't think of a better way to end Father's Day than to watch our heavenly Father's masterpiece in the beautiful Texas night sky.

Punishing Dannika Jane

I suck at following through with punishments for my kids. When I take privileges away from them, I usually give them right back at the first sign that I feel that they have learned their lesson. This means if I ground Dannika for a week, but I notice a day later that she is being her "angelic" self again, I give all her privileges back. Mattis isn't quite old enough to understand privileges, so we aren't at this stage of punishments with him yet. I have a hard time seeing my kids unhappy. It literally breaks my heart when I have to punish them. The saying, "this hurts me more than it hurts you" is REAL, y'all! I have realized lately that my failure to follow through with the full punishment for Dannika hasn't been effective.

You see, Dannika has a "gear accountability" issue. I never thought I'd be talking about gear accountability after the Marine Corps, but here I am. I lecture my children about accountability for their things probably as much as I used to lecture my Marines! Dannika loses EVERYTHING. Jackets, water bottles, bows, shoes...you name it, she has misplaced it, lost it, or who knows what happened to it. It's starting to get expensive to have to constantly replace her misplaced items...like JACKETS. Oh, and don't get me started on all those adorable boutique bows I buy her to adorn her beautiful brown hair. I want to cry when I think of all the money that has been lost due to her lack of accountability.

Last week was the final straw. She came home missing a few items I sent her to school with, and I nearly lost it. I realized it was partly my fault because I suck at following through with any real punishment, so I made it my goal to follow through and stay strong. I grounded her 5 days. No TV, no iPad, no playing with friends outside, no having friends over... It was the worst week to ground her. Our family had plans to go to the trampoline park on Friday night for an event Nick had with the Semper Fi Society. I was so excited for it, but because I was adamant about sticking to my guns, Dannika and I stayed home. She looked absolutely crushed and devastated she couldn't go. She was also not allowed to go horseback riding on Saturday for our neighbor's birthday party. The kicker was that Mattis was allowed to attend. Another devastating blow to my precious baby girl's heart. I even questioned myself and asked Nick if I was being too hard on her. He assured me I wasn't and told me to stick to my guns (TEAM PARENTING DONE RIGHT, Y'ALL!). It was a painful weekend for both Dannika AND me. Part of me felt like I was grounded too.

I knew she had learned her lesson and was genuinely sorry when she wrote Nick a sweet letter on his napkin and made him lunch (while I was with Mattis at the birthday party). After her punishment was over, I sat down and had a heart to heart with her about the value of her possessions. Dannika is the the type of child that will be heartbroken by the words, "I am so disappointed in you." So when I told her how disappointed we were in her that she did not value all the hard work we do in order to have money to buy her the nice things she has, she broke down in tears.

Lessons were learned. Tears were shed. And this mama survived making it through an entire punishment standing her ground. When it comes to punishing her in the future (although she rarely gets in trouble), I plan on sticking to this. It was effective, and I gained a little more respect from my daughter.

One thing she DID get to do while grounded was go to the gym with me.

I am NOT grounding myself from the gym because of my kids.

So here they are, bright eyed and bushy tailed on Saturday morning to work out with me!

Mattis attended a birthday party this weekend at a local equestrian facility, and got to ride an actual horse (vice a pony) for the first time!

And because I love this shirt I got from Carter's for him.

"Check your ego amigo"

Sometimes, they love each other and get along.

Making sandwiches together for lunch.

And because impromptu wine nights on a Sunday night with friends is the best.

"Show us your muscles!"

I hope everyone has a great week!

If you're taking midterms, good luck!