Growing Up Military & Last Day of 4th Grade Thoughts

Yesterday was Dannika's last day of school...her last day as a 4th grader. Fifth grade feels so much more grown up than 4th grade, and realizing that she'll be 12-13 years old when we PCS from Yuma is so beyond my wildest thoughts. How did my sweet bald baby (that we swore would never grow hair) turn into an almost 10 year old?!

She seriously had NO hair until she was literally 4 years old.

The moment I became a mother, all the "seasoned" parents would cock their head to side, sigh a big sigh, longingly smile, and say, "they grow up so fast, enjoy every moment". It's not that I didn't believe them, but I honestly didn't realize just how fast it would happen. I had Dannika when I was 25 years old. In today's standards, that's actually pretty young. More women are opting to wait to have children to establish careers, buy homes, etc. these days.

Military families tend to be really young. Military life is lonely without a partner to share it with. Because of that, in my experience, I have noticed that marriage and families happen faster than my civilian counterparts (generally speaking).

I thought I was so mature and ahead of my peers at 25 years old, but looking back now, I realize I had no clue what I was doing...or who I was. I was naive (and didn't realize it), and I had a baby to keep alive. Hell...I could barely keep myself alive some days. Praise the Lord for daycare. Ms. Kathi (Dannika's daycare provider) basically made sure Dannika wouldn't end up TOO messed up during that time. I am sure of it. After all, she spent 10-12 hours a day at Ms. Kathi's daycare while I served in the Marines.

I often refer to Dannika as my "Marine life sidekick". She's been through it all with me from the very beginning. When Nick deployed for the first time to Afghanistan, she was only 6 months old. It was just her and me. Nick's first deployment to Afghanistan was rough for me.

He subsequently deployed to Afghanistan one more time when she was 2. Then, when she was 3 years old, Nick got orders to Boston. I was still active duty. and waiting to be discharged. Once again, her and I were solo together without Nick for a year (in Orange County). We've been through a lot together as a mother/daughter duo. I always have a special place in my heart just for Dannika.

I have all sorts of emotions this week. She's starting to enter puberty (insert cry face emoji here), and it scares the ever living hell out of me. I was such an awful preteen, teenager, and adolescent, and I am praying that she is nothing like I was. Someone once told me that motherhood isn't for the faint of heart. I might have laughed to myself when I heard that at first, but as my kids get older and gain more individuality, I am realizing just how true that statement is. I struggle some days with putting ALL my faith in God. I am a control freak by nature, and it's really hard for me to completely surrender to anything, let alone faith. But of course, when motherhood gets really tough, I really have no choice but to surrender. So with that...here we go...to 5th grade...

Dannika started the school year off in College Station, TX. Then we moved here to Yuma, AZ, and enrolled her into the public school that was zoned for our neighborhood. We had come from such an amazing (and high performing) school district that when we came here, she was bored. I'll have to do a blog post in the future about moving around and switching school districts. We looked into other options for her to make sure she would be challenged academically, and found Southwestern Christian School. It has been an amazing fit for her academically, and most importantly, spiritually.

Dream big, sweet girl.

Last First Day in Texas

My kids are finally back in school after a long summer. I feel a little robbed of my summer because we didn't go on vacation like we normally do. Our family was anticipating a move to Okinawa, so we opted not to go on vacation (also, Nick has been gone all summer in North Carolina). Then we found out at the end of the summer, that our orders were switched to Yuma. Bummer.

I think I'm in the same boat as most parents when I say that I was definitely ready for school to start. My kids were getting restless at home. My pantry was looking pretty bare. The constant echoes of "I'm bored" and "There is NOTHING to do" was starting to drive me a little crazy (a lot crazy). I've definitely had a few moments where I could have shown a little more patience, grace, and mercy to my kids.  Who am I kidding, I have definitely screamed like a lunatic to get my kids to listen to me and behave. This is, of course, followed by an immense amount of guilt for losing my cool.

It was a bittersweet first day of school. It was sweet because my kids were ready to go back. They were ready to go see their friends, wear their new clothes and shoes, and get away from the screaming banshee that they call "mama". It was bitter because this is literally our very last first day of school in Texas. In just a few short weeks, we'll be pulling the kids out of school and moving them to a whole new state. I'm not quite sure what that is going to be like emotionally for Dannika. She has the closest ties to this place, and she has a posse of girls that have become like sisters to her over the last 4 years. It terrifies me as a mother to think that I'm going to have to deal with a heartbroken 9 year old. For some reason, I am not worried at all about Mattis. Because he is so young, I doubt he will even remember this place. We moved here to Texas when Dannika was 5, and she has vague recollections and memories of our time in Massachusetts.

Speaking of Mattis, we started him in Kindergarten here! Because we are only going to be here a short time, we decided to enroll him. He BARELY makes the age cutoff for Kindergarten! In fact, he's still 4 years old, and probably one of the youngest Kindergarteners in the school (he turns 5 on Sunday). Once we move to Yuma, we are planning on holding him back one more year, and putting him back in Pre-K. When I drop him off in the mornings in his classroom, he looks so much smaller than all the others. I know I'm making the right decision to hold him back. But for now, he'll get small dose of that Kinder life, before we move. His teacher is a friend of mine, so I feel comfortable knowing that he's going to be just fine for the few short weeks we are here.

I've been loving everyone's back to school photos! Keep them coming! Enjoy some of mine!

Mattis with his friends Addison and Bailey!

Addison and Bailey are twins (obviously), and they also have older siblings who are twins too!

In fact, their older sister Ally, is one of Dannika's best friends!

It's really neat that both of my kids get to be in the same class with a set of "the twins"!

Both my kids want to be doctors.

I think that's because my brother in law (who is a doctor) just spent the previous 4 days with us.

He should come around more often!

Here are 2nd day photos, because Dannika's outfit looks so dang adorable!

Here is my little man in front of his cubby!

I'm a little sad that we can't continue the school year here, because we love it so much. But I know that God has amazing plans for our family in Yuma. Any military families have any advice on dealing with a 9 year old moving in the middle of the school year? Any and all advice, suggestions, and comments are appreciated!

Year 3 of Carolina Creek Christian Camp!

We dropped off our sweet Dannika Jane at Carolina Creek Christian Camp Sunday afternoon! She is a veteran camper there of 3 years (as of this year)! The first time she went was 2 years ago! This is something she looks forward to every summer, and we are grateful for the experiences that she gets to have there.

Carolina Creek is a faith based camp in Huntsville, TX (just over an hour away from where we live). The camp was originally started to serve the inner city population of Houston. According to their website, "in 2002...Houston was one of the most underserved metropolitan areas in the United States for Christian camping." Because of this, 20% of all campers must come from urban and inner city communities through their scholarship program.

To me, summer camps have always been sort of a "pretentious" thing that only the "rich kids" got to go to every summer. They are not cheap by any means, and even after paying for the fees, the cost of buying the "stuff" they need throughout the week can add up quickly.  I love that Carolina Creek gives children who would otherwise not be able to afford camp an opportunity to attend. It is so important to me that my children grow up amongst and immersed with children from all backgrounds. My hope is that they grow up with an expansive worldview outside of our comfortable middle class life.

Dannika is at the age where she is beginning to notice "social classes" within her circles. She knows which kids have parents that make a lot more money than we do, and she knows which kids are struggling to buy lunch at school. We have had really great and in depth conversations about what "privilege" means. Everything from her privilege being from a family with two parents, a middle class family, owning our own home, being able to afford to go to camp every summer, the clothes she wears...even her "white privilege". Basically it came down to..."Hey kid, your dad is a Marine. It's a very honorable job that requires you to sacrifice too. He will always be able to provide for you, and will give you a life better than his. But, we'll never be rich." And she is ok with that.

This is why we love to send her to Carolina Creek every summer. She's not there with a group of campers who are all from middle to high class families (like you would find at most overnight summer camps). She is there with kids from all backgrounds and walks of life. That is such a core principle of what the bible teaches...that we are ALL His children, and he loves ALL of us equally. She comes home every year with such a fresh renewal of her faith. I love that her counselors nurture and pour into her for the whole week as they show her and teach her what it means to "live like Jesus" and "love like Jesus".  We love it so much, that we have plans to continue to send her back every summer to Texas just for camp!

This is the first year that I've had to take Dannika to camp alone. 

Usually Nick is around to do all the heavy lifting for me.

Not gonna lie, getting this heavy trunk out of my house into my car was quite the feat!

It's always a good day when you're assigned the top bunk!

The last two years she has been in the giraffe cabin.

This year, she moved up to the tiger cabin!

Aren't these cabins so cool?!

This entire camp was actually designed by a former Disney architect!

The Camp updates their website daily with pictures of our campers.

I literally go through hundreds of photos to get a glimpse of my sweet camper!

And of course, out of a gazillion photos, this was the only one I got of her!

Sweet brother is pretty bored without his big sister around.

We've been trying to make the most of our special time together.

We spent hours at the neighborhood pool today playing "sharks and minnows"....or "shark and minnow" lol.

 We had the pool ALL to ourselves for the majority of our time there!

Stros, Halloween, and Personal Thoughts.

Work has kept me busy lately. Not just work. Work, kids, volunteer work, and life. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Over the last 5 years since getting out of a 10 year career, I have learned that I am my "best" self as a working woman. I crave and need purpose outside of raising kids and being a "Marine wife"..and I like working OUTSIDE of my home.

Recently, an acquaintance whom I met through blogging told me they were moving near us. Outside of an occasional FB or IG "like", we had never had a true relationship or conversation. This person always sends our family a Christmas card every year, which made me feel obligated to send one back. We met in person... one time years ago, and that was it. For those who know me...y'all know how much I value a friendship or an acquaintance. Acquaintances are people I friend on social media because I like them. Friends are people that I actually keep in contact with outside of social media...I love them...and cherish them.....and even invest in a plane ticket to go visit every once in a while. Military life has really taught me the difference between friends and acquaintances. I value my acquaintances, because something connected us together albeit high school, boot camp, Marine Corps life.

This person recently contacted me to tell me they were moving in this area because of a job, and told me how glad they were they were moving somewhere they knew someone, and wanted a referral for a realtor. It totally caught me off guard. "Wow, I've barely spoken to you, and NOW you're contacting me... I barely know you outside of social media...". I referred them to a realtor that we love and trust, and left it at that. Then, I was asked if they could use me as an emergency contact for their kids in school. No.

Do not put that responsibility on me. Yeah...the EC never gets used...but in the case that it does...I don't want to be it. I don't know you or your family...I don't know your kids except the ONE time I met them FIVE years ago...and I haven't spoken to you on the phone since the ONE time we met in person. Its awkward.

I feel bad...but I am totally weirded out....

One friend told me I was overreacting...
My other 3 BFFs told me, "that's weird".

Anyways...

First...

GO STROS!!!

Halloween here was rainy...

It didn't stop us from trick or treating though!

Mattis chose to be Batman.

He actually originally chose to be the scary "Heath Ledger Joker".

I told him "NO!", so we compromised on the Dark Knight.

D surprised me, and chose to be Rey from Star Wars!

She has seen Star Wars with Nick.

I've never seen a single Star Wars episode, and fell asleep through the only one I "saw" in theaters with Nick.

So, when she told me she wanted to be Rey, I had to do some research.

It ended up being one of my most favorite costumes!

Fall has been SO busy for us! Between work, the kids' school and activities, volunteer work, and life, I've truly haven't had much down time to think about anything else! Nick is kicking butt! He just qualified on the range as an expert in both pistol and rifle on the range!! whoop~!

I don't have much time to blog like I used to, but I take that as a blessing. Busy is good!

Thanks.

And GIG 'EM!

"Your grace so free, washes over me."

I heard a song by Northpoint music on the local Christian radio station (Peace 107) this morning on my way home from church, and the lyrics (that I made the title of this blog post) just stood out to me. The song is called "Death was Arrested" (in case any of y'all want to hear it).

I'm a BIG fan of secular music...even the slightly inappropriate stuff. If y'all know me, I am a HUGE Tupac fan. I also am a lover of old school country music, and even the new stuff. I love Florida Georgia Line...even though true country music lovers claim they are an abomination in the country music scene...but I like it. Mattis' current jam is Liam Payne's "Strip That Down". He literally calls it "my jam", and we listen (to the edited version) every morning on our way to school. But I also love worship music. I listen to it in my car when I'm alone sometimes, and it brings me a lot of peace and calmness...especially before a busy day.

Anyway, the lyrics, "Your grace so free, washes over me" really resonated with me today. For those know who me well, know my personal testimony. Lots of really emotional and messed up stuff that has happened in my life from the ages of 16 to 26ish. What really got me back "on track" as far as my relationship with Christ was accepting the fact that His grace was free. There was nothing I needed to do to earn back his forgiveness. Any time I hear something about His amazing grace, I am always reminded of my broken past. It always overwhelms me to think that I serve a God who loved me in the midst of the darkest hours in life...when I was destroying my life and my relationship with Him. He continued to love me.

Anyway, speaking of grace...this mama needed LOTS of grace this past week! 
I mean, y'all...
RED RIBBON WEEK.....
I know you moms out there get it.
A "themed" dress up day every day.
And if you have a child like mine, your child suffers from FOMO...bad...
So I have to make sure that she has something to wear for every day of the week.

Oh, and Red Ribbon week is not even over!!!!!!!!!!!! This year is like an extended red ribbon week. It goes until Halloween!!

Good Lord...give me some grace...because I have definitely fought with my 8 year old this week about each theme day....

Let's go through this....

 So Monday was the start of Red Ribbon week...

Guess when I found out it was Red Ribbon week?!

I found out MONDAY morning, when my panicked daughter ran into the kitchen waving a red paper with all the info for each dress up day on it...

I simply told her, "it's not my fault you failed to give me this vital, red piece of paper earlier so I could help you prepare. Guess you're not participating!" (then she cried)

It was crazy sock day.

My child has no crazy socks...

And after some tears, she literally emerged from the garage with these Elsa and Anna socks that were shoved inside her roller blades.

I don't ever recall buying her these socks.

I don't think they belong to her.

They were probably left at our house by one of her friends on a playdate.

I don't think know if they were clean...

They probably stunk...

But she was happy she had them...

FOMO was cured...

Day 2.

Favorite team shirt day!

Easy!

Aggies...duh, and since half her wardrobe is maroon or "Aggie themed"...easy day!

FOMO crisis averted.

Day 3...

Wear red day.

We have ONE red shirt.

It is a shirt she got from cheer camp two summers ago, and it sorta fits.

I was gonna make her wear that, because this mama does not have time to go buy a red shirt for Red Ribbon week,

But praise Jesus for my friend Katy (the mother of Dannika's BFF), who randomly got these adorable shirts made for Dannika and all her besties.

FOMO crisis averted...again...thanks to my super "extra" mom friend...

(And Dannika's eyes look super Asian in this pic...kinda makes me happy because people always tell me she looks more white than Korean)

Day 4...

CRAZY HAIR DAY.

OH MY LORT....

D told me Wednesday (wear red day) that she wanted turquoise hair.

I told her if I can't find turquoise colored hair spray at Walgreens, she's not having turquoise hair.

I was not about to drive around town to Target and Wal-Mart to look for turquoise hair spray. 

Thankfully, Walgreens had it (in their Halloween aisle).

Then comes Thursday morning....

We're already running late, and D does NOT know how she wants her hair done...

Two pigtail buns?

No.

A "mohawk" braid?

No.

Pigtails? 

No.

"Well hell child...then i'm just putting your hair up in a ponytail and spraying it turquoise!"

Tear...lots of tears.

Pinterest to the rescue.

We finally agreed on a "bow bun" (Praise Jesus, because it was simple").

We were late for everything that morning (insert eyeroll)

Day 5...

School Spirit day!!! Wear your school shirt!

Simple right?

No...not in this family.

Thursday night, I asked D to get her school shirt out of her dresser and lay it out.

Panicked Dannika claims she can not find it!

Me: Well, then you're not wearing it. I'm not here to keep track of your clothes.

Tears. Lots of tears.

Then she decides that she will just wear "last year's" school shirt (which is purple...this year's is black),

I already know she's gonna suffer from FOMO when she shows up to school in last year's style, while everyone else is in this year's look.

Thankfully, I just happened to be folding laundry, and her current school shirt appeared.

FOMO crisis averted..,one last time for the week.

We still have two more days.

Tomorrow is camo day, and I actually found a Marine marpat cammie blouse in her size.

She'll be representin' all you devildogs tomorrow!

Tuesday is storybook character day, and my "extra" mom friend Katy hooked up all our girls with Dr. Seuss' "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" costumes!

Seriously...she is a lifesaver.

Everyone needs a mom friend like her in their life!

I will share those on my IG page this week (@dcb_blog)

And lastly...

My son's very first school photo. 

Seriously....do they get ANY cuter?!?!

I'll answer that question for you...no, they don't.

Flying Solo

Welp....
I am on week 4(ish) of being a "solo parent". I have a solid routine down, and most days seem to fly by. I love routine. I am a creature of habit, and a good routine always makes me happy and less anxious. I feel more in control. People always ask me how I'm doing, and I tell them things are great. I feel like sometimes, they don't believe me when I say that. But seriously, things are great. Are there days when I'm absolutely frustrated because my kids aren't listening to me, and I am desperately wishing my partner in crime were here to "take care of it" for me? Absolutely. But honestly, even if Nick were here, I would still have days like that. I really just miss having another adult in the house most evenings when I am winding down. I miss having a glass of wine, and having someone to talk to. When people ask me how I'm doing, I also always mention that it sucks more for Nick than me. I truly believe that. I have a life here. I have a home, our children, our family and friends, and familiarity. Nick, on the other hand, is living in a barracks room with two other roommates. When he's not training, boredom sets in, and he literally has nothing to do. He's found ways to make himself busy. Marine Corps life has blessed us with friends all over the country, and on weekends, he finds himself in one of the homes of the many friends we have in Virginia. I am so grateful for our friends who have opened up their homes to Nick to feed him home cooked meals, and allow him to relax and hang out outside of the confines of the tiny room he is living in.

Pic of his room...

Quite the adjustment from our modest little home in a nice subdivision here in good ole' Aggieland...lol.

I especially love the luxurious plastic matresses...

Only the best for our Marine Corps Officers!

One of my FAVORITE things about Marine Corps life are the friendships that I have with people all over the world. When you are forced to live far away from home, you're forced to make friends...fast...with the people that are around you. You always know which friendships are the most meaningful, because those friends actually come and visit you when you move. 

This weekend, my sweet friend Ashley flew to Texas from Orange County to visit us (just for the weekend). I met her while I was on recruiting duty when I was in the process of trying to put her "then" boyfriend into the Marine Corps. She was only in high school then, and I have watched her grow up from a 17 year old high school girl to a 24 year old woman. She actually complimented my Vince Camuto, patent leather heels....and the rest is history. I texted her right before Nick left, and told her how I'd love for her to come visit once Nick was gone. It's always nice to have visitors to help break up the monotony of solo parenting life, and she did not even hesitate. I am so grateful for her friendship. My kids had SUCH a blast this weekend with her! The weekend was too short, but much needed, and our short time together was priceless.

Our family has an annual pumpkin carving tradition.

We all go to a pumpkin patch, pick out pumpkins and carve them

It's one of Nick's favorite traditions,

Since he's not here this year for the fall, we just went to our local HEB and bought pumpkins.

Instead of carving them, I bought craft supplies and paint, so we could decorate them.

We had such a blast, and it was a perfect way to end our weekend with Ashley!

*Dannika's pumpkin says "Rey", because thats who she's gonna be for Halloween!

(I don't know who Rey is. I just know she's a Star Wars character. I've never seen a single Star Wars movie, but my kids have with Nick.....)

Dannika, Me, and Mattis...

Mattis, Dannika, Me, and Ashley

It's clearly obvious which pumpkin was made by the "OC girl".

Ashley was such a blessing to us this weekend!

With Nick being gone, I really enjoyed having another grown up in the house.

Most importantly, the kids were thrilled to have someone visit them, and give them attention and spend time with them.

True friends pick each other's boogers...

Ashley left early this morning before the kids woke up for school.

Not gonna lie, the house felt a little lonelier this morning, and the mood was a little sad.

That just means that our weekend was full of love and laughter.

Oh, and it's Red Ribbon Week at D's school!

Today was Crazy Sock Day....

We did not prepare....

Thank goodness we just happened to have these random "Elsa/Anna" socks laying around for her!

So...

Life is good. The kids and are I happy, healthy, and busy. We miss Nick terribly, but we are always reminded that we made the right choice to stay put while Nick is at TBS. Our family and friends are so amazing, and have truly been such an amazing support system for us!