"Mom'ing" in the Summer

You know it's summer, because this blog has been neglected. With both kids home all day long, my days seem to leave little to no free time for myself. Even with my days a little busier, I still feel like my kids are having a little too much screen time for my liking. But things like laundry (oh, the never ending laundry) have to get done whether my kids are home all day or not. So some days, I spend 3 hours folding and putting away laundry (I'm not even kidding y'all...3 HOURS), and my kids get a free for all when it comes to screen time. It's called balance, right?

Summer is always an interesting time for a stay at home mom. I feel like it's a true test of our abilities as a mother. Are we truly capable of caring for our school aged children all day long without completely losing our minds? I can answer that for myself. No. I'm not capable.

 I lose my cool with my kids more times in one day than I am willing to admit out loud. I oftentimes find myself at the end of a very long day wishing I would have been a little more "fun", a little more "grace-filled", and wishing I wouldn't have been so hard on my kids. Let's face it though, in the heat of the moment when my kids are fighting with each other, tattling on each other, and whining to me about being hungry or bored or whatever they are, it's really tough for me to not be completely overwhelmed. That's usually when I lose it, and I'm not always proud of it. Praise the Lord for grace and mercy, amiright?

The other day, I did manage to stop myself before saying something unkind to my children. I got in my bathing suit, and just lounged in our pool for 20 minutes while I gathered my thoughts. Once I was calmed down, I felt more in control of my erratic "mom emotions", and in turn was more more pleasant for my kids.

Sometimes, you just need some water, a floppy hat, and some quiet time to gather your thoughts.

Oh yeah, our pool is finally finished! Hallelujah! It literally feels like it took forever, but the pool company finished it just in time for summer. The temperatures are averaging in the 100s these days, so it's a nice reprieve from the heat. It also gets my kids out of the house and off their screens, so that is also a nice added bonus. My backyard is also slowly coming together as a nice place for me to hang out. Shout out to Nick for tirelessly working and building things for me.

I don't want to ever hear from Nick that I don't help maintain the pool...

Not sure if this little boomerang video will even load, but if it does...

I got a TON of compliments on this striped one piece bathing suit. I got it several years ago, and thought I lost it. But through moving and unpacking, it mysteriously appeared out of thin air! These days, I am enjoying rocking a cute one piece more often than a two piece. I'm trying to teach my daughter about modesty, and it's hard to be doing that when mama's hanging out of her bathing suit all the time. 

A few months ago, we got 6 baby chicks that are now hens. We named them Opha Mae, Dixie, Lydi, Kimchi, Presley, and Aggie. One of them (we think its Lydi) laid her first egg this week! We're excited for all of our hens to start laying. We are going to be using the opportunity to teach our kids about entrepreneurship and giving!

This is me and Lydi (the suspected egg layer)

I started a new devotional this week called "Children--A Gift and a Responsibility". It's a free devotional I found on YouVersion, and so far, I am really enjoying it. It literally takes me 5 minutes a day, and let's face it, during these summer months, even just 5 minutes with Jesus can restore your sanity.

There's a lot I need to blog about and catch up on. Nick and I recently celebrated our 11 year anniversary, and got to do some really fun things here in Yuma. I think that's what I'll post about next! Other than that, I hope summer is going well for everyone. I thought I'd end this blog with a quote that I found this week on Facebook that lade me chuckle...

"Don't worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows."

Growing Up Military & Last Day of 4th Grade Thoughts

Yesterday was Dannika's last day of school...her last day as a 4th grader. Fifth grade feels so much more grown up than 4th grade, and realizing that she'll be 12-13 years old when we PCS from Yuma is so beyond my wildest thoughts. How did my sweet bald baby (that we swore would never grow hair) turn into an almost 10 year old?!

She seriously had NO hair until she was literally 4 years old.

The moment I became a mother, all the "seasoned" parents would cock their head to side, sigh a big sigh, longingly smile, and say, "they grow up so fast, enjoy every moment". It's not that I didn't believe them, but I honestly didn't realize just how fast it would happen. I had Dannika when I was 25 years old. In today's standards, that's actually pretty young. More women are opting to wait to have children to establish careers, buy homes, etc. these days.

Military families tend to be really young. Military life is lonely without a partner to share it with. Because of that, in my experience, I have noticed that marriage and families happen faster than my civilian counterparts (generally speaking).

I thought I was so mature and ahead of my peers at 25 years old, but looking back now, I realize I had no clue what I was doing...or who I was. I was naive (and didn't realize it), and I had a baby to keep alive. Hell...I could barely keep myself alive some days. Praise the Lord for daycare. Ms. Kathi (Dannika's daycare provider) basically made sure Dannika wouldn't end up TOO messed up during that time. I am sure of it. After all, she spent 10-12 hours a day at Ms. Kathi's daycare while I served in the Marines.

I often refer to Dannika as my "Marine life sidekick". She's been through it all with me from the very beginning. When Nick deployed for the first time to Afghanistan, she was only 6 months old. It was just her and me. Nick's first deployment to Afghanistan was rough for me.

He subsequently deployed to Afghanistan one more time when she was 2. Then, when she was 3 years old, Nick got orders to Boston. I was still active duty. and waiting to be discharged. Once again, her and I were solo together without Nick for a year (in Orange County). We've been through a lot together as a mother/daughter duo. I always have a special place in my heart just for Dannika.

I have all sorts of emotions this week. She's starting to enter puberty (insert cry face emoji here), and it scares the ever living hell out of me. I was such an awful preteen, teenager, and adolescent, and I am praying that she is nothing like I was. Someone once told me that motherhood isn't for the faint of heart. I might have laughed to myself when I heard that at first, but as my kids get older and gain more individuality, I am realizing just how true that statement is. I struggle some days with putting ALL my faith in God. I am a control freak by nature, and it's really hard for me to completely surrender to anything, let alone faith. But of course, when motherhood gets really tough, I really have no choice but to surrender. So with that...here we go...to 5th grade...

Dannika started the school year off in College Station, TX. Then we moved here to Yuma, AZ, and enrolled her into the public school that was zoned for our neighborhood. We had come from such an amazing (and high performing) school district that when we came here, she was bored. I'll have to do a blog post in the future about moving around and switching school districts. We looked into other options for her to make sure she would be challenged academically, and found Southwestern Christian School. It has been an amazing fit for her academically, and most importantly, spiritually.

Dream big, sweet girl.

Peace, Love, & War

In Nick's 18 years of service, his toughest deployment has been the Battle of Fallujah in Iraq in 2004. The Battle of Fallujah is an iconic battle in the post 9-11 era, and was considered one of the biggest urban battles since the Battle of Hue City in Vietnam. In 11 years of marriage, Nick has rarely opened up to me about his experiences in Fallujah. I've been careful not to pry, and have just let him share what he wants when he feels comfortable. It doesn't mean I don't have a million burning questions. I've tried to dig through his things to get some sort of inkling of what he saw and experienced. He was awarded a Navy Achievement Medal (NAM) for his actions in Fallujah with a "V" device for Valor. I also have a Navy Achievement Medal, but mine does not have a device for valor because it was not earned in combat. I got mine for being my recruiting station's "Rookie Recruiter of the Year" (just to give y'all some context to the award). I've asked a few times throughout our marriage how he got his "V" on his NAM, but he usually beats around the bush, and doesn't give me a straight answer. I stopped asking, because he clearly is uncomfortable with the question. I used to take that pretty hard.

I held that inside of me while silently having my feelings hurt, because I wanted to respect him.

For the last 11 years of our marriage, I have watched Nick's health deteriorate slowly. First it was a little back pain that turned into a big back pain. Neck pain. Limbs going numb. Migraines. A little sleeplessness turned into full blown insomnia. Hearing loss and severe tinnitus (if y'all didn't know already, he wears hearing aids). With all of these health issues comes irritability, some depression (which he has not been diagnosed with...I am just assuming), and a lot of frustration. Nick hides it very well. No one would know all of these issues that he deals with on a constant basis.

The pills either make him feel worse or don't help him at all. I have changed our family's eating habits and lifestyle to try and alleviate some of his discomfort. It has helped a little, but not a whole lot.

In the last year, Nick has really started to take his health a little more seriously. He is close to retirement. After watching all the hassle I went through to get my benefits through the VA, he knew he needed to really start documenting his health issues. Documentation is EVERYTHING when it comes to the VA and getting benefits. If you just show up at your exit physical complaining of all sorts of medical issues, the first question they ask is, "where is your documentation?". He also began to go see "the wizard" all on his own. The wizard is a term that some Marines use to call a therapist. I have asked him to go see a therapist several times, and I always got the typical answer...







So when he told me that he had started to go see "the wizard", I was genuinely shocked and so giddy inside. I tried not to be weird about it though (which I probably was), and thanked God for answering my prayers. I know that there is still a lot of healing that needs to happen, and I am grateful that he's taken a proactive step towards that.

I finally felt peace as far as Nick and his experiences in combat. Up until now, I felt so "in the dark" about everything. Because he didn't want to talk to me about it, I didn't know how I could help him. Knowing that he was talking to someone (a professional!) about it put my soul at ease. 

Several months later, Nick and I were getting ready for bed, and he casually mentioned to me, "so, I turned in all my paperwork for a Purple Heart." I stopped what I was doing, and had to ask again, "a what?! You were injured in combat??? When? How?" I had so many questions running through my head. 

 
He told me how he was injured, and explained why he chose now to finally put the documentation in for his Purple Heart. He posted this on Facebook:

"You can’t prepare yourself for everything. No congratulations needed. 14 years have passed since we were in Fallujah. The scenario was about as kinetic as it could have been. Enemy fighters were trying to push out of the city to escape the tanks, troop carriers and the Marines that were moving in quickly behind them as they cleared house to house just like the did through Hue city in Vietnam. Our job was not as dangerous as that but just as important as we established our blocking positions near the cloverleaf to prevent anyone from leaving the city and to provide safe passage for the Maine effort as they moved into their attack positions. The only protection we had was from the guard rails in front of our vehicles and minimal micro terrain. The enemy attempted to soften our position with rockets, small arms fire, and mortars. While I was moving between vehicles I was caught in it and I don't understand how I came out of it with all of my limbs and only received some secondary shrapnel and a concussion from the incoming mortars and rockets. I have kept this mostly to myself and between me and some very close friends. I didn’t burden my family with any of the details of that night or any other night. Today I received a Purple Heart from that night. The only thing I can say is it is an honor and privilege to wear it for those who no longer have the means and a burden to bare until the next life. I am honored and sad. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure how I feel. Maybe at peace. Semper Fi. I wear this for you Vincent Bell, Louie Cardin, Benito Aguilar, Jordan Stanton, Donald Hogan, Andrew Brownfield and the hundreds who made the ultimate sacrifice. Rest easy and we will remember you always. Thanks to Hana and the kids for keeping me grounded and forgiving me for everything and to my close friends who always lifted me back up."

Nick was officially diagnosed with traumatic brain injury (TBI). It was finally an explanation for all his health problems and symptoms he has been experiencing for all these years. He's been given a referral the the TBI clinic at Camp Pendleton, and we are so grateful. They have one of the most state of the art TBI clinics in the nation. It's truly a blessing.

His Purple Heart was approved, and his long overdue Purple Heart ceremony was last Thursday. He didn't want a ceremony. He actually told his XO, that he would be totally ok with him just putting it on his desk when it comes in. I wouldn't stand for that. Not after all that we have been through as a family. I also know his unit would not let him just have it "put on his desk". The Purple Heart is weird in the fact that it's an "award", but not one you can really earn on your own merit. I know several Purple Heart recipients have told me that they feel guilty wearing it, because many of the service members who got the same award didn't make it home alive. I see it as a symbol of sacrifice, and I am really proud of Nick.  

Here are some photos I managed to snap with my iPhone from his ceremony. Someone took some nicer photos, but I don't have those (obviously). Nick felt really weird that people wanted photos with him, but oh well...

This is Nick with two other 2ndLts that he went to TBS with. 

I know this post is long. If you made it down here, wow....you have too much time on your hands and need to find a hobby (kidding...maybe). It was actually way longer, but I condensed it and took a lot of details out. I guess if you really want to know more, you can ask me! I really wanted to share a little part of Nick's story, and our family's journey. Like I mentioned before, I asked Nick if he was ok with me sharing this. I know it's very vulnerable for him. I'm a very open person on social media, and on this blog, but when it comes to sensitive or personal matters that involve my family, I always ask before I post. The biggest thing is, we just want other families who are dealing with combat trauma and the wounds of war to know that they're not alone. 

Instagram: @semperagblog

Why Yuma Isn't Such a Bad Duty Station

When I tell people we are stationed in Yuma, most people give me a look of pity. Typical responses we get are...

First of all...RUDE.
Second of all...Yuma is not a "hot spot" duty station for most Marines. It's literally in the middle of nowhere. There's not a whole lot to do here. The summers are brutal. There's not a whole lot of things that make Yuma appealing when looking at it from the outside. When Nick broke the news to me last summer that we would be coming here instead of going to Okinawa, I was a little crushed. But I came here with a positive attitude, and I was determined to find the silver lining. I put my faith in God. I just knew he had a great purpose for us being here instead of Okinawa. I have always had conflict with God when it comes to the Marine Corps, and this is the first time I truly surrendered to Him.

His plan was evident with just our house hunting journey. We originally had planned on living on base housing.  But after looking at housing market trends in Yuma, we had to jump on the chance to buy. The cost of living in Yuma is SO affordable! I will have to do a whole another post on buying real estate. Nick and I have owned 3 homes in the last 10 years, and they've been the best investment. Anyway, we purchased our home (site unseen), and thanks to an amazing realtor (shout out Breanna Sanchez), we found the most adorable house in a great neighborhood. We had so many concerns about this house because it had sat on the market for so long. A turnkey house in a nice neighborhood shouldn't sit on the market for as long as it did. Our realtor did some digging, and found out that the listing agent had the number of bathrooms listed wrong, and it probably wasn't coming up on people's searches. This house was sitting on the market when we had orders to Okinawa! I truly believe in divine intervention. I believe that God had this house "saved" for us before we knew we were coming here.

Friday afternoon in our backyard! We are putting a pool in our backyard!

Another wonderful thing about Yuma is that it us just a short drive into California. Yuma literally sits right on the California/Arizona border. I literally accidentally drive into California all the time by missing an exit. Our family has done several trips to Southern California to get away from the desert, and it has been wonderful. We have a ton of friends stationed at Miramar and Camp Pendleton, and it's been great to just drive over to visit them for a weekend.

We've known Emilee since we were stationed in Boston. She is now stationed on Camp Pendleton, so it was a treat to be able to go visit her on a weekend trip to SoCal!

This past weekend, our former nanny from College Station flew out to San Diego from Houston to spend 3 days with us at the beach!

It's really nice to be able to be near a place where people are willing to travel to in order to see you! Let's face it, no one is dying to come to Yuma, but no one is going to say no to San Diego.

Nick is also in an amazing billet with amazing Marines. He genuinely enjoys going to work every day (minus the occasional complaints that EVERY SINGLE MARINE has). He has "normal" working hours, and we get a lot of family time. That's been the biggest blessing for our family....FAMILY TIME. After spending so much time apart, our kids are really taking advantage of having dad around.

We live just 2 miles away from a famous hiking trail here, Telegraph Pass. 

Visiting dad at work on base!

I look back at the last 7 months here in Yuma, and I've been really happy. I miss Texas. I miss my Texas friends. I miss my kids' school. I miss being near family. I MISS TEXAS...it's my home. But there is so much I don't miss about Texas. I don't miss living away from my husband. I don't miss solo parenting. I don't miss the humid weather. I don't miss the feeling of "keeping up with the Joneses" (there is a LOT of that in College Station).

I don't have to explain every detail of life as a military family to people who don't understand it. It's refreshing. Again, I truly miss Texas...but there's also a lot I don't miss. Don't get me wrong, I definitely want to go back home one day when Nick chooses to retire. Texas is home. You will never convince me that there is a better place than God's country.

I can truly see God's plans for our family in action here in Yuma. We found an AMAZING church that we absolutely love. We found an amazing school for our kids to attend. We love our neighborhood. We have truly found the "silver lining" in being stationed here, and are excited for our future. We have found that Yuma is a great place to be stationed. It is a small, tight knit community, and a great place to raise a family. All my skepticism and doubt about coming here are completely gone.

For my military spouses who might be stationed here one day, it's not the end of the world. It's a pretty great place!

The Month of the Military Child

Gosh, it's been a hot minute. Every time I make a bold claim that "I WILL keep up with this blog", I fail miserably. The truth is, I Instastory my life so much, that I find myself not being as inspired to blog. I have yet to switch my blog to Wordpress (like I have been saying for MONTHS), and who knows if that will ever happen. But anyway...

I shall grace you with my rambling today...

Since April is the "Month of the Military Child", I thought I'd share some things about my own two children and how awesome they are.

If you're a longtime follower of my Instagram/blog, I don't have to repeat my life to you. But if you're new, I'll give you the "Barney style" rundown. I am a former Marine of 10 years, married to a current active duty Marine (who will hit 18 years of service this July), and mom to 2 pretty fantastic military "brats". If you're really curious to know the whole back story of how my husband and I ended up together...just click here. You can read all about our whirlwind elopement in fabulous Las Vegas.

Back to my 2 fantastic military "brats". I have a love/hate relationship with the term "military brat". When used in the right context, it can be endearing.

Who wants to be called that anyway?! I have said this a gazillion times that military children should be the most respected members of a military family. Why? Because my husband and I CHOSE to serve. I CHOSE to marry my active duty husband. My children had NO CHOICE. They were born into our family, and forced to live this life. Not that children ever get a choice in the circumstances they are born into, but that's a whole another blog post for another person to write about. 

As parents, we have tried our best to give our kids the most "normal" life with the best opportunities we can provide. My children are involved in sports, music, activities, playdates...all the things that "regular kids" do. We make holidays special, and celebrate everything and anything that is a reason to celebrate! From that viewpoint, we are a pretty normal, All-American family!

Of course, circumstances due to the fabulous "Uncle Sam" will throw "normal" out the window in a heartbeat. My 9 year old daughter has been in 5 schools in 4 states...again...she's NINE. My 5 year old son has been in 3 schools in 2 states in his short lifetime. We tried to do the math once, and roughly figured out that both of our children have lived more of their life with their father deployed to combat or gone for training than with him under one roof. These kids are resilient.

My children have certainly "bloomed where they have been planted". Of course, we always go through an adjustment period, and I'm not saying it's always been easy. If anything, it's been rough. Our move here to Arizona from Texas was by far one of the toughest moves we have done yet. My oldest had deep seated roots in Texas with a group of friends that were thick as thieves. I think I shed more tears leaving Texas than any other duty station....not because I was sad, but because I felt like we were literally ripping our daughter away from an amazing life and group of friends. My son had just started Kindergarten in Texas, and after only 6 weeks (when he was finally getting adjusted), we moved and put him in a new Kindergarten class...in a new school...in a new state. Being 5, and being the "new kid" is tough, and I admire little Mattis for his courage and tenacity.

We have been in Yuma for roughly 7 months now, and it finally feels like home.

Our kids have settled into their new schools and have made friends. Most importantly, they get to live under the same roof as their dad, and that is a blessing. The things that most "regular kids" find so normal are things that my kids cherish. I wish you could hear the squeals of excitement when my husband has time to drive them to school in the mornings, or see the excitement on my son's face when he sees his dad on the sideline at his soccer game (cheering him on like a fool). The smallest things are the biggest things to a military kid.

They deserve a month to be dedicated to them. There is a generation of military kids growing up with a parent (or both parents) who have served in a wartime military for 18 years. I truly believe that these kids are going to change the world with the worldliness and experience in this oftentimes, uncertain life.

Why I Love Routines, and My Morning Routine

I've been posting a lot on my Instastories (@semperag_blog) about my morning routines lately, and I've had a few people ask me about it. By few people, I mean like 3 people. REGARDLESS, I figured I'd just put it out there on the old blog for everyone to read. I'm trying not to neglect this little piece of the Internet that is mine.

If you know me well enough, you know how much I love routine in my life. You would think I'd be the type of person that can easily "roll with the punches". After being in the Marines for 10 years, and being married to a Marine, it should come natural, right? Oddly, that is so far from the truth. When my routine gets messed up, I start to stress out, and my anxiety really starts to creep in. I think that my craving for routine comes from being a military spouse. I've been apart from Nick for most of our marriage. When he's gone, I tend to get into a strict schedule day by day, hour by hour (sometimes minute by minute!) to help ease the burden of doing things alone. This has really helped me cope with the loneliness, but at the same time, it has hindered relationships I have with the outside world.

It's a little selfish of me, because I expect all my friends to fit into my schedule when I need them to, but won't adjust my schedule for their own busy schedules. 

I've gotten better at it though, but I am still a work in progress...with like a long ways to go...lol.

One thing that I CAN control without affecting others (or feeling selfish) is my morning routine. I choose to get up an hour before the rest of my family wakes up, so that I can have my "me time". There is something serene about the quietness of a home when everyone else is still asleep, and it is still dark outside.

I don't do coffee. I'm not one of those people who say, "I NEVER drink coffee", but it's really not for me. I normally chug 16 ozs of water as soon as I wake up. Next, I dilute a shot of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar in a glass of water, throw a scoop of Vital Proteins collagen peptides in it, and down it like a college frat guy taking his first Irish car bomb (because ACV tastes like crap). Although I don't drink coffee, my body does crave something warm to sip on, so I usually heat up a glass of water, squeeze half a lemon in it, and sip on it while I listen to the news ("Alexa, what's today's news?"), read my bible, and catch up on social media. Right before everyone starts to wake up, I make myself an egg and 2 egg whites, and douse it in Sriracha. BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS! This has been my routine for years, and it's my favorite part of my day.

This past week, I have added drinking celery juice every morning on an empty stomach. If you follow "Medical Medium" on Instagram, he sorta started this craze about the benefits of celery juice on an empty stomach every morning. I still do my Bragg's ACV, collagen, and hot lemon water, but I wait 20 minutes after having my glass of celery juice do drink the rest of my morning's concoctions. You can read in detail about the benefits here. I'm all about any new health fads (as long as they seem legit), and am willing to try it out. I don't think it's feasible to be doing this every single day (that's a lot of dang celery you have to buy). I plan on doing it for about 2 weeks, then tapering off to drinking it 2 or 3 times a week. I definitely can feel its' affects on my body. I deal with a lot of inflammation in my joints (thanks Marine Corps!), and just in the past 3 days, my inflammation seems to not be so bad.

So there y'all go. Currently, my routine in the morning is:
-Celery juice
-listen to the news
-read my bible
-scroll social media
-sip hot lemon water
-take a diluted shot of ACV with collagen
-1 egg, 2 egg whites, Sriracha

Oh, it's cold and flu season around here, and there are sick kids everywhere. My son has been sniffly and coughing for a few days now, so I have also added a shot of elderberry syrup to everyone's morning routine in my house...lol. Nick calls me a hippie while rolling his eyes in his head. Whatever! Here is an article  on the benefits of elderberry syrup if you've never heard of it! I started to feel sick yesterday, and felt my body coming down with something. I loaded up on my lemon water (vitamin C) all day yesterday and drank my elderberry, and I feel 200 times better today!

It's been abnormally cold (for Yuma) lately, but I have't been complaining. After barely surviving 2 brutal winters in Massachusetts, this little "winter" we are having in Yuma is nothing. I hope all you beautiful people are having a great 2019 so far! It's almost March soon (my birthday month!).

Being a Military Spouse on Social Media

Several months ago, I chose to change my Instagram account (@SemperAg_blog) from private to public. It was a decision I pondered over for weeks. I'm not a paranoid person, but my Instagram was set to private after a news story broke several years ago about how terrorists were targeting military families through social media. That seemingly shut my life off from the rest of the world. I am a very open and honest person. I do choose to highlight the good and funny parts of my life like most people do on social media. I don't get TOO political, and I have no problem sharing my thoughts, feelings, my kids, and my family for the world to see. Shutting my life off with the exception of the friends, family, and acquaintances that I "accepted" into my private page kinda sucked for me.

I have met a community of military spouses that are beautiful, smart, funny, and empowering through blogging and Instagram. Most of them, I have never met face to face, but I feel like I know them. We all share this mutual bond of being married to someone serving our country, and many times, I have found myself reaching out to these complete "strangers" to vent about my issues (hey, it's easier to vent to someone who really doesn't know you). When I made my Instagram private, I quit connecting with new military spouses who were seeking advice, friendship, validation, and whatever else that comes with this life. Since my profile was private, I think it deterred a lot of people from "requesting" to follow me, because they thought I would think they were being nosy. By making it public again, it was almost like giving the world an open invitation into my life. Once again, I began to meet a ton of new people who are sharing the same experiences of this life with me.

Of course by allowing people to have an "open invitation" into my Instalife, there comes a handful of critics (or "trolls" as you people under 30 call them). Most of those people don't follow me, but they do occasionally browse my page, and always seem to have some sort of negative remark or snide comment about just about anything I post. I literally posted an Instastory once of my morning concoction of warm lemon water, ACV, and collagen, and someone slid into my DM's to say, "you're wasting your time and money with all that stuff you're putting in your body. just eat a balanced diet!"

Ok, Susan. Thanks for your unsolicited advice. (not her actual name)

Last night, I complained a little about the fact that Nick was heading back to 29 Palms for training again (after he just got back a week ago). I was upset he was missing Valentine's Day, after I had my hopes up of finally getting to spend a Valentine's Day with him. We are long overdue for a date night, so I was really looking forward to it. Well, good old "Susan" wants to comment...

"You should be grateful your husband is not in Afghanistan right now."

Thanks Susan. Oh by the way, I've been there, and done that.

These random shots at me sometimes hurt my feelings. I get my feelings hurt easily. I have to constantly remind myself that these are the consequences of making my life so public on social media. It's not like I have a TON of followers, but by keeping everything public, a TON of random strangers get a glimpse into my life. And strangers behind a keyboard are the bravest with their jabs.

But even with the occasional rude comment, I really enjoy keeping up with the lives of other military spouses who choose to keep their lives open to me as well. I have a sense of community when I feel lonely (because trust me, this life can be lonely at times). They always make me laugh and remind me not to take life too seriously. They remind me that we are all in this life together and all going through our own internal struggles. So because of that, I'll just continue to keep my life open on the internet.

Anyway...those are just my thoughts on that...
As for now...

It's 8am on Tuesday morning, and my house is quiet. A rare occurrence for me at 8am. I'm usually on the road by now dropping my kids off at school and getting ready to head to the gym. But not today. I am here in my quiet house, typing away at this blog that has been neglected while basking in the silence of the morning.

Mornings are no different in my home than most people who have children that go to school, and adults that need to get ready for the day. My trophy husband, Nick, has taken it upon himself to start taking the kids to school every Tuesday morning. He usually has to be at work by 7:30 (unless he chooses to go PT with his Marines...then it's like 5am). He announced last week that his work would not miss him if he comes in 30 minutes later than usual, one day a week, so that he could take his kids to school. It's amazing how much a simple task like having dad take you to school is such a big deal to two little ones (well, D is not so little anymore....more on that in another blog post). I cherish these small moments. Because of the nature of Nick's profession, these moments are few and far between, and we never know when he'll be whisked off to a faraway land to serve our country...away from us. So a seemingly insignificant task like "dad taking the kids to school" is a pretty big deal around here. I'm thankful. I'm blessed. I'm good.

Just a Quick Separation

Our family got a whole 3 1/2 months together as a family before the Marine Corps decided "enough family time for y'all". Nick left today for a training exercise in 29 Palms (up in the desert of Cali) for about 6 weeks. But, I'm always a "silver lining" type of girl, and 3 1/2 months together as a family is the longest that we have all been together under one roof in over a year! I am grateful for that! For those who are new to my blog, Nick is an active duty Marine. Up until last October, our family lived apart from him for a year while he completed various schools and training on the east coast. 

No matter how many times we do this though, it still sucks. But here's the funny thing, it doesn't suck the day he leaves. It sucks the day before he leaves. I think it's the anticipation leading up to "the big departure" that makes it suck so bad. We are all trying to squeeze in as much quality time as possible right up until the very last minute, and it can be emotionally taxing. I actually hate it when Nick lingers around the house the day he is supposed to leave. I'm like, "just leave already!". 

These days, with iPhones and social media, separations are a lot easier than just 10 years ago. It was 2010 when Nick went on his first deployment to Afghanistan away from 6 month old Dannika and me. Even then, smart phones weren't really a thing (I think I had a Blackberry???), and the Skype connection was sketchy at best. I am grateful that we have more effective ways of communicating today. 

I am a big girl, and gone are the days of me crying myself to sleep in my pillow the day Nick leaves for anything Marine Corps related (yes, I used to do that). I think after being married to him for 10 1/2 years, I have just become a "seasoned" military spouse, and have gotten used to doing things alone without my partner. I actually look forward to the quiet evenings alone. I am 10 times more productive when Nick is gone, so I look forward to checking things off my list and getting into a good routine. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck for my kids...especially my youngest. Today, Mattis celebrated Martin Luther King Jr's birthday at his school. Each kid made little hats with their very own "I have a dream" statement. Mattis' said, 

"I have a dream to have my family live together." 

I cried. A boy needs his father, and this sentiment has never been more apparent to me than in this past year trying to raise Mattis without Nick. To all the single moms raising little boys, I raise my glass to you. It's hard. 

I always say that Nick's wife is the Marine Corps, and I am his mistress. I wonder if his wife is mad that he is paying his mistress' bills, and paying her child support 😆. Gotta keep a sense of humor in this oftentimes uncertain life. 

And I always send Nick a selfie the day he leaves so he doesn't forget the "snack" he has at home 😂

Mattis and I just returned from a wedding in San Antonio last weekend, so I'll be blogging about that soon! Y'all can always follow me in IG: @SemperAg_blog . I post the most random things.

Happy 243rd Birthday, Marines!

If you have lots of friends who are Marines, then your social media feed is probably being blown up with "Happy Birthday, Marines!" memes. If you haven't had the honor and privilege to be associated with our awesome legacy, then it is probably annoying to you, and you're probably rolling your eyes at the sight of every Marine Corps meme you encounter.

If you ask most military members that are not Marines when their branch's birthday is, they probably can't tell you without doing a quick google search first. I have friends in all branches of the military, and they always seem to be attending random balls throughout the year celebrating random things. For instance, I have noticed a lot of the other branches do separate balls based on the birth of their units or MOS's (Ranger ball, engineer ball, etc. etc. etc.). Not the Marine Corps. We ALL celebrate the birth of our Corps on November 10th of every single year. The thing I love most about being a Marine is that no matter what our jobs are, at the end of the day, we are all Marines. I've never met a Marine recon guy (our special forces) introduce themselves like, "hey, I'm recon in the Marines." It's always just, "I'm a Marine." But you bet your ass when you meet an Army Ranger, the first thing they mention is, "I'm an Army Ranger." I get it, theres a lot of pride in being an elite Ranger in the Army. I think it's cool that the entire Marine Corps sees themselves as being elite by just being a Marine.

Nick and I celebrated the Marine Corps Birthday this past Thursday here in Yuma. It was our first ball here, and Nick's first ball outside of 1st Marine Division! He is officially part of Marine Aircraft Group 13. It was held at the Civic Center on a baseball field! It was our first outdoor ball, and it was HUGE. There were roughly 2800 people there to celebrate the Marine Corps Birthday! This time of year in Yuma is GORGEOUS, so the thought of an outdoor ball wasn't surprising to me. However, being a "desert newbie", I forgot that the evenings in the desert can get pretty chilly. I chose to go with a short dress this year instead of a long gown because it was an outdoor ball.

The dress I wore is a Nha Khanh, and I'll definitely be wearing her more!

Her dresses are stunning.

I'm also pretty impressed with my arms. 

I've been on a new workout plan since we moved here, and I'm seeing some pretty awesome results!

And you can't go wrong with a dress that has pockets...

And we always have to do a "Gig 'em" photo.

The eagle, globe, and anchors (on his collar) that Nick is wearing on his blues actually belonged to an artillery officer that fought in Okinawa during World War II.

They were gifted to him by my former Ordnance Officer, Capt Najmulski.

Like I mentioned, 2800 people. 

It was packed.

The birthday cake.

It is tradition that the guest of honors gets the first piece of cake, the oldest Marine present gets the second piece of cake, then the oldest Marine gives the youngest Marine a piece of cake to symbolize the passing down of experience and knowledge.

This part always makes me feel old.

The youngest Marine at our ball this year was born in 1999.

1999, y'all.

I was a freaking freshman in high school.

Nick and David.

They went to The Basic School Together and Ground Supply Officer school together!

Nick and the Guest of Honor, Brigadier General Borgschulte.

We even got the General to throw up a Gig 'em!

What a fun night to celebrate our amazing legacy. Each year during this time, I am humbled that I got to have a small part in it. I am grateful for those Marines who have gone before me, and those who will go after me.

Happy 243rd Birthday, Marines!