Showing posts with label Deployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deployment. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

The Month of the Military Child

Gosh, it's been a hot minute. Every time I make a bold claim that "I WILL keep up with this blog", I fail miserably. The truth is, I Instastory my life so much, that I find myself not being as inspired to blog. I have yet to switch my blog to Wordpress (like I have been saying for MONTHS), and who knows if that will ever happen. But anyway...

I shall grace you with my rambling today...

Since April is the "Month of the Military Child", I thought I'd share some things about my own two children and how awesome they are.

If you're a longtime follower of my Instagram/blog, I don't have to repeat my life to you. But if you're new, I'll give you the "Barney style" rundown. I am a former Marine of 10 years, married to a current active duty Marine (who will hit 18 years of service this July), and mom to 2 pretty fantastic military "brats". If you're really curious to know the whole back story of how my husband and I ended up together...just click here. You can read all about our whirlwind elopement in fabulous Las Vegas.

Back to my 2 fantastic military "brats". I have a love/hate relationship with the term "military brat". When used in the right context, it can be endearing.


Who wants to be called that anyway?! I have said this a gazillion times that military children should be the most respected members of a military family. Why? Because my husband and I CHOSE to serve. I CHOSE to marry my active duty husband. My children had NO CHOICE. They were born into our family, and forced to live this life. Not that children ever get a choice in the circumstances they are born into, but that's a whole another blog post for another person to write about. 

As parents, we have tried our best to give our kids the most "normal" life with the best opportunities we can provide. My children are involved in sports, music, activities, playdates...all the things that "regular kids" do. We make holidays special, and celebrate everything and anything that is a reason to celebrate! From that viewpoint, we are a pretty normal, All-American family!

Of course, circumstances due to the fabulous "Uncle Sam" will throw "normal" out the window in a heartbeat. My 9 year old daughter has been in 5 schools in 4 states...again...she's NINE. My 5 year old son has been in 3 schools in 2 states in his short lifetime. We tried to do the math once, and roughly figured out that both of our children have lived more of their life with their father deployed to combat or gone for training than with him under one roof. These kids are resilient.


My children have certainly "bloomed where they have been planted". Of course, we always go through an adjustment period, and I'm not saying it's always been easy. If anything, it's been rough. Our move here to Arizona from Texas was by far one of the toughest moves we have done yet. My oldest had deep seated roots in Texas with a group of friends that were thick as thieves. I think I shed more tears leaving Texas than any other duty station....not because I was sad, but because I felt like we were literally ripping our daughter away from an amazing life and group of friends. My son had just started Kindergarten in Texas, and after only 6 weeks (when he was finally getting adjusted), we moved and put him in a new Kindergarten class...in a new school...in a new state. Being 5, and being the "new kid" is tough, and I admire little Mattis for his courage and tenacity.

We have been in Yuma for roughly 7 months now, and it finally feels like home.



Our kids have settled into their new schools and have made friends. Most importantly, they get to live under the same roof as their dad, and that is a blessing. The things that most "regular kids" find so normal are things that my kids cherish. I wish you could hear the squeals of excitement when my husband has time to drive them to school in the mornings, or see the excitement on my son's face when he sees his dad on the sideline at his soccer game (cheering him on like a fool). The smallest things are the biggest things to a military kid.

They deserve a month to be dedicated to them. There is a generation of military kids growing up with a parent (or both parents) who have served in a wartime military for 18 years. I truly believe that these kids are going to change the world with the worldliness and experience in this oftentimes, uncertain life.




Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Five Years Ago

I love my TimeHop app.
I love seeing photos and reading posts I made on this day however many years ago.
It's a good way for me to measure how far I've come in life.
I sometimes cringe at the stuff I used to post 5,6, and 7 years ago.
I was immature,  and I was definitely an "overshare-er" of politics, religion, and controversy on social media.
These days, I tend to stick to happy posts, pictures of my kids, and my life.

Today, this popped up on my TimeHop from 5 years ago...
  I can't remember my exact emotions on the day he told me this.
I'm sure a sense of relief followed by a "holy shit" came about.

All day today, I've been thinking about this post.
It's been a constant nag in the back of my mind.
What if he would have gotten on that helo?
My life would be so different today. 
Some of the greatest friends I've made because of this life with Nick would not exist in my life.
There would be no Mattis...

I literally can't breathe when I imagine a life without Nick.
My stomach literally feels like an empty pit, and my heart begins to race with anxiety.
I feel this way even though he is currently safe and sound, right here next to me working on school work.

Looking back on this one little post I put on Facebook 5 years ago....
It's really hard for me to ever think that I have questioned if God really exists. 
I am so grateful that He brought Nick home every single time safely back into our family.

Crazy that something I wrote 5 years ago on Facebook had the potential to change my life forever.

Do you have TimeHop? 



Thursday, May 14, 2015

American Wife

I started listening to Taya Kyle's book American Wife yesterday on Audible.
I'm not even halfway through it, and I have already cried tears of joy and sorrow, and laughed.
Listening to her voice read her words brings so much more emotion to the book.
You can tell by the way her voice chokes up when she's talking about her pain, and I love how she imitates her husband's (Chris Kyle AKA American Sniper) Texan accent when she quotes him. 
So far, it's a beautifully written love story about a woman deeply in love with a man with a deeply complicated job.

In her book, she includes a few emails that were written to her from Chris while he was deployed to Iraq.
As she reads those emails, I could feel tears well up in my eyes as I ran on the treadmill at the gym.
I couldn't help but think of the cherished emails I keep saved in my Yahoo account from Nick.
I don't really use my Yahoo email account anymore (does anyone?!?), and I've talked about just deleting the account several times.
But when I login to that account to delete it, I see the deployment emails.
The emails I would impatiently wait for, and obsessively check when he was deployed.
If I was lucky, I could respond to an email immediately, and he would respond back within minutes.
We would have entire conversations back and forth by email if I caught him while he was on a computer over there.
But my favorite emails...
Were the love letters...
My 6 foot tall, rough and tough Marine could write words that could warm my heart from the other side of the world in a combat zone.

From: "Romer SSgt Nicholas \(MEB-A HIMARS\)" <nicholas.romer1@afg.usmc.mil>
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2010 06:06:56 +0430
Subject: Hey sweet heart
 
I hope you feel better today baby.  We are waiting for the phones to come back up.  9th comm had to reconfigure everyones phones on this side of the base.  I told the Marines to come and grab me as soon as they are back up.  I love you so much.  how is Dannika doing?  Did Mrs McGowan give you some time off to get better?  I hope so.  I really miss you.  You can adjust your count down board to 7 weeks on Sunday!!!  I love you and cant wait to talk to you. 

The emails were usually brief, but they were my sanity.
It gave me comfort in those few lines that he was safe at the moment.

From: Romer SSgt Nicholas (MEB-A HIMARS)
Hey baby I just wanted to say I love you and miss you.  I ran out of time this morning.  The phone is being used for a conference call.  I will try and call you later.  I love you so so sosos so sos ososos so os much


From: Romer SSgt Nicholas (MEB-A HIMARS) <nicholas.romer1@afg.usmc.mil>
Subject: I have been thinking abou you.
Date: Thursday, April 15, 2010, 6:40 PM
There has not been 1 moment that I have not been thinking about you.  I day dream about you and I dream about you at night.  I love you so much.  I don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened to you or Dannika.  I wish I was there to protect you and take care of my ladies.  We were in RC yesterday so I couldn’t call. I left my together we served up but didn’t touch it so I wouldn’t get denied access.  I thought I would still be able to email out but I couldn’t.  I love you so much hana.  There is no way I could ever show you exactly how much I love you.  Your 2 packages made me smile.  I liked the definition.  Handsome man with big ears…    babe!!  Hahah  you are funny.  I miss you so much.  Thank you for the NESQUICK!!!  it is so delicious.  We passed our 90 day mark yesterday.  I think. Well close enough.  Well baby I have to go I will call you in a little while.  There is someone on the phone at the moment.  Oh and just so you know I really want to do dirty things to you ;)


From: Romer SSgt Nicholas (MEB-A HIMARS)
Hey sweetheart.  You know you can tell me anything.  I love you so much.  I am going to worry about you no matter what.  I love you more than life.  I know you will handle everything and it will be fine.  You are amazing.  I think about all those things all the time.  It is unbelievable how far we have come.  I remember when we first met.  I don't think I would have ever known life would be this great if I hadn't met you.  Our baby is so beautiful. She gets that from you.  Sorry I had to run earlier.  I had a forklift waiting on me.  There is so much going on.  Either way i am a busy man.  It will all pay off though.  I just got one of your letters this one was labeled 1804 at the top.  It had a pic of Dannika helping me drink my Newcastle.  I miss Newcastle.  Hah.  Well baby I have to go again.  I love you and I love Dannikwa.  Give her a kiss for me.  You are the low sodium soy sauce on my rice.

I can read these emails and be instantly taken back to that deployment.
I was a new mom, an active duty Marine on an extremely demanding assignment...
I was trying to hold it all together and be strong, but the reality was I broke down many times.
I bawled my eyes out in front of my SgtMaj when he came to do a recruiter eval on me.
He just stared at me blankly like I was crazy.

(recruiting duty trying my best to look happy for the camera)

I am so grateful that he's come home safe and sound from every deployment.
And as much as I wanted to NOT burden Nick with my worrisome heart and stressful life, sometimes, I just couldn't hold it in.
I'd lash out at him on the phone, and/or write him mean emails....
Then afterwards, I would feel terrible, and of course, I couldn't just pick up the phone to call him to apologize for being a jerk.
Sometimes I'd wait days upon days until he'd finally call, and a sense of relief would flood over me that I could finally apologize and end the call on a happy note.
I would/could never forgive myself if the last phone call I ever got with my husband was one of anger.

If y'all get a chance, I highly recommend the book American Wife.
For military spouses who have dealt with the agony of sending a loved one away on deployment, it is written beautifully in a way we can all relate to Taya.
For the service member, it's an awesome perspective of what a spouse goes through emotionally, physically, and mentally while "holding the fort down" at home.

And I recommend this book the most for civilians.
With all the "support the troops" hoopla that has been around since the war, I feel like a lot of civilians are out of touch with the reality of what military families go through.

This book will make you cry, make you laugh...
It'll make you appreciate the sacrifices of our military and those who support them!

Before Nick deployed, I recorded him reading a few books so that I could play them for Dannika.
She LOVED seeing daddy on the computer reading to her!

A few lucky times we got the Skype!!!
I would literally just keep the computer on and pointed at Dannika.
Nick would sometimes sit on Skype for an hour just watching her eat cheerios.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Memory Lane..the Good, Bad, & Ugly

I was going through my computer the other day just deleting some old files and cleaning it up a bit.
I came across some photos that I hadn't seen in YEARS that gave me such fond, not so fond, and just random memories.
I thought I'd share a few and take you to a trip down my memory lane.

I don't even remember what year this was, but this was definitely WAY before I even knew Nick existed!
This is my friend Kim and me in a bar in PB (Pacific Beach in San Diego).
 This picture makes me laugh because that evening, a few of the Marines we worked with ended up in the "paddy wagon" (the drunk tank).
For those of us who did not get arrested, we ended up at Denny's and this adorable innocent girl that you see in the photo (Kim...not me...haha), stole some random guy's food because he was passed out when his food came out. 
How I managed a successful career in the Marine Corps for 10 years without getting in (too much) trouble is beyond me....for real.

My old roommate Eddie and me.
He was my roommate when I met Nick!
We used to go to Rookies (a sports bar in Oceanside that Marines frequent) pretty much every night...well not EVERY night...but we went A LOT!
I once punched a Samoan gang member in the face at this bar, then I was carried over the shoulder of a Marine I worked with, locked in the backseat of my car, while he rounded up the rest of the rowdy bunch to make our getaway before the cops showed up.
Again....how I managed a successful career in the Marine Corps for 10 years is BEYOND ME!


This is a group of the female Marines that were in my unit.
My friend Jamie (second girl from the left) was on restriction (google it), so we decided to throw her a party in the barracks lounge...lol.
I'm pretty sure we provided her with alcohol (which she was not allowed to have on restriction), but man, that was a fun night.
Providing Marines that are already in trouble with alcohol....do you see a trend?? God was really looking out for THIS Marine.


I was lucky to have gotten to work with such awesome female Marines.
We all got along (which is rare), there was no cattiness or backstabbing...
Not to mention...they were all absolutely gorgeous...
Hot AND can kick your butt?! 
We're a rare breed...girl Marines.

Back when going to TJ (Tijuana) was legal for Marines (with a chit of course), I took my sister there when she came to visit me in San Diego.
We walked around, bartered for fake Louis Vuitton sunglasses, and ate some awesome and authentic Mexican food!

What I miss most about California is being a 5 minute drive away from the beach...

Sgts Course...
One of the best courses I went to as a Marine. 
I had an absolute blast, and our platoon took the PT trophy (of course).
There were 5 females in the course, and 5 platoons.
Each platoon got a female.
Every platoon's female brought their PT and PFT down...
NOT THIS GAL...
Beast mode....I can hang with the boys.

I got promoted to Sgt in Iraq...fun times.

I love the photobomb in this photo.
 This photo was taken at a party that my instructor at Recruiters' School threw our class at his home.
 Nick was a drill instructor at the time, so since we were on the same base, we spent a lot of time together.
I'm pretty sure this photo was taken just a few weeks after we got married!
It's true...we eloped while I was in recruiters' school cause they were gonna send my ass to Duluth, GEORGIA!!!!!!

One of my last days as an active duty Marine.
The person you see in this picture...
You'd never believe all the stuff above, huh?
This girl is now a settled down wife of an amazing husband and a mother to two adorable kids.
My, how times have changed!

Hope y'all enjoyed my past...lol!

Friday, July 25, 2014

Boston Bucket List

With Nick graduating in less than 2 weeks now, it's starting to really sink in that we are moving soon.
When Nick found out he was coming here, he was in Afghanistan.
I was the one who broke the news to him from my work via my work phone.
I was fortunate enough at the time to be active duty, and my work had a government line I could use to call Nick in Afghanistan...just a small perk of being a dual active duty couple.
I remember his reaction...

"Boston?! What?? No....I didn't even put that as one of my choices! Besides, I'm in Afghanistan, I can't go anyway. They wouldn't send me home early from combat for these orders."

Oh, but they did.
They pulled him away from his unit in the middle of combat operations, so that he could come here to Boston.

Early homecoming photos....


I cringed thinking about it.
I WAS STATIONED IN CALIFORNIA!
How the heck would we be together?!?
Short answer:
We weren't together. We spent nearly a year on separate coasts until I discharged from the Corps.
It sucked.

When I finally got here, we had all these grand plans to make the most of our time in Boston.
We would never get a chance to live here again, so why not make the best of it?!

But then...
We moved here to this...

Talk about depressing.

When all this crazy snow finally ended, we were still recovering from the "winter blues", and before you knew it, Nick was gone for the Summer.
Our family spent so much time being negative about living here, that our "Boston bucket list" never got a single check mark placed in it.

So now that we have just a few short months left here, Nick and I made a pact to do all things "touristy" in Boston before we left.
We had already started checking things off our list starting with our weekend getaway to the Cape.

So here's our Boston Bucket List.
I figured if I blogged about it, I'll be held more accountable to it...
I also know there are TONS of other places to check out in Boston, but we're limited on time!

1. Take a trip to Cape Code
2. Have an authentic "lobstah roll"
(I had one at Warren Tavern in Boston and one at Oysters Too at the Cape...hands down the best lobster rolls i've ever had.
3. Sam Adams brewery tour
4. Boston Duck tour
5. Freedom Trail
6. USS Constitution
7. Spend a day at Quincy market
8. visit Harvard and MIT
9. Go running on the esplanade
10. Have a dinner date night in the South End
11. Dinner cruise on the "ha-bah"
(yes, I'm making fun of your accent Bostonians...)


That's our list!
I'm sure there are a million other places that y'all Bostonians would recommend, but this is really all we want to do!

I'll keep y'all updated on how we do as far as checking things off our list before we leave here!

I did an easy 6 mile run yesterday at an 8:24 pace.
I'm pretty excited to time myself when Nick gets back to see how fast I am without pushing the jogging stroller!
I'm confident I can run a 20 minute PFT (3 miles), and keep a 7:50-8:10 pace for a 7-8 miler!

Indoor playgrounds are my friend cause this little guy can't walk yet.
I can just let him freely crawl around everywhere without having to worry about much!


I've been losing my patience a lot with this girl.
She turned 5, and this whole plethora of attitude and sass came with it.
I'm learning to be more patient and understanding...

Friday, May 23, 2014

Memorial Day and Vince

I really thought long and hard about what I wanted to post in regards to Memorial Day.
I sat in the preschool drop off of my daughter's school today thinking about the significance of Memorial Day.
I started thinking about a text I got last night from my "soul sister", London.
 She was driving to Arlington National cemetery (from Michigan), and she told me that she'd send me some photos...
That's when the tears started coming...
You see, for people like my friend London, Memorial Day isn't a day off for BBQ'ing and celebrating.
Every Memorial Day, London and her mom take the long journey to Arlington National Cemetery to visit SSgt Vincent Bell....her brother...her mother's son...

Nick finally had the courage to visit his friend this year.
There's no words for me to describe the emotion in this photo.
A brother visiting a brother at his final resting place...

 I texted London back this morning when I woke up...

"We will be spending time with friends this weekend, and you better bet there will be some good stories and memories about Vincent that we will share."

I've been seeing ALL kinds of these posts on my newsfeed trying to make all of us feel guilty for wanting to BBQ and enjoy our day off on Memorial Day.
You know what I mean...

In all honesty, if you've ever heard stories about or knew men like Vincent, or my friend Cpl Andrew Brownfield, they were happy people who enjoyed life.
 They liked having a good time, and laughing...and being happy.

I can tell you from the stories I've heard about Vince from Nick that Vince liked a good party, a good BBQ, a good beer, and his motorcycle.
He liked going to the mall in Temecula to check out girls...
He was an amazing artilleryman, and Nick had the privelege of serving together with him from boot camp, in the artillery community, and artillery training school.
He was always smiling.
He was tall, dark, and handsome.
London and Vince.

By fate, through this tragedy, God placed London in my life.
When we decided to name our son after Vince, I wanted to contact his family to let them know that we wanted to keep his memory and his name alive through our son.
Nick was not in a place yet to talk about Vince's death, and was not ready to face his family at that time.
So I took it upon myself to let them know.
 Naming our son Mattis Mark Vincent Romer has been the greatest blessing ever.
You have no idea how mad I get when people get lazy and try and leave out the "Vincent" part of his name.
I get a little pissy, and I make sure to correct them, and tell them that my son's full name is NOT Mattis Mark Romer...it is Mattis Mark VINCENT Romer.
In a way, it's a blessing when they want to leave that part of his name out, because it gives me an opportunity to tell them why the second middle name is so important to us.
It gives me a chance to talk about Vince, and keep his memory alive through our son.

So this weekend...
Our family will be doing exactly what Vince would be doing.
BBQ'ing...
Enjoying our friends...
Drinking beer...
Laughing...

And I encourage everyone else to do the same.
Live your life, and have fun.
There are too many men and women who will never get a chance to do that anymore.
Do it for them.
Just take a moment to remember them...
Keep their memories alive somehow.

And you bet your ass that we'll be sharing stories about this wonderful man that gave his life for us with our neighbors.

And lastly, I want to congratulate this amazing woman on completing her law degree!
She had to weather some crazy storms in the last few years, but she never gave up.
I'm so freaking proud of her, and I know Vince is too!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

An Irritation + California

We went back to the ophthalmologist yesterday for a check up on Nick's eye.
We thought that we'd get amazing news, and that he could get off the eye medication he is on.
Unfortunately, he is still out of commission for another WEEK AND A HALF!
I, personally, am ok with having him home, taking care of him, and just spending time together.
What I am NOT OK with is that the healing is taking so slow, and it's starting to worry me a little.
I guess on the bright side, it IS healing...
I'm still pretty upset with the whole situation, and I can't even make light of the situation any more.
And by the way, I found out today that Nick probably wouldn't have been involved in this childish, and idiotic dodgeball game if it he weren't called out to come play by someone.........
I have too many anger issues with this situation right now.
Thank God for gym memberships...
I've been taking out my anger and aggression out at the gym and hazing my body.
BLAH.

Time for some happy thoughts and happy photos from our SoCal Vacation!
These photos are kinda all over the place, but I don't feel like rearranging them. 
Sorry, but this is my blog... :)

So we missed our connecting flight from Houston to Boston, and we couldn't get out until the next day.
Lucky us, my parents living in Houston, and we got to spend a day with them.
That meant we got to get breakfast at Shipley's donuts, and eat KOLACHES!
Shipley's donuts and kolaches are two things native to TEXAS, and you haven't lived until you've had them!
Dunkin' Donuts has NOTHING on Shipley's!

With the lack of military bases around here, Nick hasn't had an amazing military regulation hair cut since moving here to New England.
He was so happy to go to his old barber in San Clemente to get an amazing haircut for 10 BUCKS!
Haircuts here cost 20....seriously....that means we spend 80 bucks a month on just hair cuts, and they're not even that great.

A view of the beach (at dawn) that I used to run on all year long when we lived in Orange County.
Breathtaking.

My sweet son :)

 Our family stayed at the Laguna Cliffs Resort & Spa in Dana Point, CA.
Nick used to take me here for overnight "date nights" for anniversaries, New Years, etc., so I thought it'd be cool to stay here as a family.
It's absolutely gorgeous, family friendly, yet romantic as well!

 When Nick and I stayed here in the past for overnight dates, we always end up in the hotel bar and talk over drinks until it's way too late.
I was pleasantly surprised to see the same bartender that used to serve us still working there, and she remember me!

We had dinner at our friend's house in Laguna Hills.

Flight home.
Beer+in flight entertainment+occupied baby with a napkin=good flight!

The next morning at my parent's house after our missed connecting flight.
My two tired travellers.

And lastly, Nick and I got to go on TWO kid free date nights while we were in California!



Friday, April 4, 2014

The Military Child

April is the month of the military child.
This month has a lot of meaning to my family.
My son has already gone through a short, 2 month separation in his 7 months of life from his daddy, and I know that it won't be his first.
My daughter....
I can't even count the months or years that she has spent without her father around.
I cant count the days of her life that I've missed out on because of my own commitments to the Marine Corps.

Commitments, deployments, and training for the Marine Corps....
They all take away precious time away from our children's lives

So this month has a special place in our family.

I'm a grown woman who has spent 10 years as an active duty Marine, so for me, separations are normal.
It doesn't make them easier for me, but the fact that I am old enough to comprehend things about life and the Marine Corps, it's not nearly as hard for me as it is for my kids.

However, at the end of the day, my kids get an opportunity that most kids don't get.
They get to see the world.
They get to experience different cultures.
They learn to appreciate the time that they have with their father.
They learn to "adapt and overcome".

Nick and I are so proud of the child Dannika is becoming.
It does not even faze her when we break the news to her that "daddy is leaving again."
If anything, she takes it better than me.
She keeps me sane when he's gone, and she comforts me.

I think it's awesome that there's an entire month dedicated to celebrating "military brats".
They deserve some recognition.
They're seriously the real "silent ranks".

Dannika's first time seeing Daddy in 7 months. 
She was 13 months old in this photo, and he left right when she was 6 months.

This photo ended up in the LA Times!

This was seeing daddy for the first time after his second deployment to Afghanistan!
She was 2 1/2!

And the newest "military brat" to our family...