"Mom'ing" in the Summer

You know it's summer, because this blog has been neglected. With both kids home all day long, my days seem to leave little to no free time for myself. Even with my days a little busier, I still feel like my kids are having a little too much screen time for my liking. But things like laundry (oh, the never ending laundry) have to get done whether my kids are home all day or not. So some days, I spend 3 hours folding and putting away laundry (I'm not even kidding y'all...3 HOURS), and my kids get a free for all when it comes to screen time. It's called balance, right?

Summer is always an interesting time for a stay at home mom. I feel like it's a true test of our abilities as a mother. Are we truly capable of caring for our school aged children all day long without completely losing our minds? I can answer that for myself. No. I'm not capable.

 I lose my cool with my kids more times in one day than I am willing to admit out loud. I oftentimes find myself at the end of a very long day wishing I would have been a little more "fun", a little more "grace-filled", and wishing I wouldn't have been so hard on my kids. Let's face it though, in the heat of the moment when my kids are fighting with each other, tattling on each other, and whining to me about being hungry or bored or whatever they are, it's really tough for me to not be completely overwhelmed. That's usually when I lose it, and I'm not always proud of it. Praise the Lord for grace and mercy, amiright?

The other day, I did manage to stop myself before saying something unkind to my children. I got in my bathing suit, and just lounged in our pool for 20 minutes while I gathered my thoughts. Once I was calmed down, I felt more in control of my erratic "mom emotions", and in turn was more more pleasant for my kids.

Sometimes, you just need some water, a floppy hat, and some quiet time to gather your thoughts.

Oh yeah, our pool is finally finished! Hallelujah! It literally feels like it took forever, but the pool company finished it just in time for summer. The temperatures are averaging in the 100s these days, so it's a nice reprieve from the heat. It also gets my kids out of the house and off their screens, so that is also a nice added bonus. My backyard is also slowly coming together as a nice place for me to hang out. Shout out to Nick for tirelessly working and building things for me.

I don't want to ever hear from Nick that I don't help maintain the pool...

Not sure if this little boomerang video will even load, but if it does...

I got a TON of compliments on this striped one piece bathing suit. I got it several years ago, and thought I lost it. But through moving and unpacking, it mysteriously appeared out of thin air! These days, I am enjoying rocking a cute one piece more often than a two piece. I'm trying to teach my daughter about modesty, and it's hard to be doing that when mama's hanging out of her bathing suit all the time. 

A few months ago, we got 6 baby chicks that are now hens. We named them Opha Mae, Dixie, Lydi, Kimchi, Presley, and Aggie. One of them (we think its Lydi) laid her first egg this week! We're excited for all of our hens to start laying. We are going to be using the opportunity to teach our kids about entrepreneurship and giving!

This is me and Lydi (the suspected egg layer)

I started a new devotional this week called "Children--A Gift and a Responsibility". It's a free devotional I found on YouVersion, and so far, I am really enjoying it. It literally takes me 5 minutes a day, and let's face it, during these summer months, even just 5 minutes with Jesus can restore your sanity.

There's a lot I need to blog about and catch up on. Nick and I recently celebrated our 11 year anniversary, and got to do some really fun things here in Yuma. I think that's what I'll post about next! Other than that, I hope summer is going well for everyone. I thought I'd end this blog with a quote that I found this week on Facebook that lade me chuckle...

"Don't worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows."

Peace, Love, & War

In Nick's 18 years of service, his toughest deployment has been the Battle of Fallujah in Iraq in 2004. The Battle of Fallujah is an iconic battle in the post 9-11 era, and was considered one of the biggest urban battles since the Battle of Hue City in Vietnam. In 11 years of marriage, Nick has rarely opened up to me about his experiences in Fallujah. I've been careful not to pry, and have just let him share what he wants when he feels comfortable. It doesn't mean I don't have a million burning questions. I've tried to dig through his things to get some sort of inkling of what he saw and experienced. He was awarded a Navy Achievement Medal (NAM) for his actions in Fallujah with a "V" device for Valor. I also have a Navy Achievement Medal, but mine does not have a device for valor because it was not earned in combat. I got mine for being my recruiting station's "Rookie Recruiter of the Year" (just to give y'all some context to the award). I've asked a few times throughout our marriage how he got his "V" on his NAM, but he usually beats around the bush, and doesn't give me a straight answer. I stopped asking, because he clearly is uncomfortable with the question. I used to take that pretty hard.

I held that inside of me while silently having my feelings hurt, because I wanted to respect him.

For the last 11 years of our marriage, I have watched Nick's health deteriorate slowly. First it was a little back pain that turned into a big back pain. Neck pain. Limbs going numb. Migraines. A little sleeplessness turned into full blown insomnia. Hearing loss and severe tinnitus (if y'all didn't know already, he wears hearing aids). With all of these health issues comes irritability, some depression (which he has not been diagnosed with...I am just assuming), and a lot of frustration. Nick hides it very well. No one would know all of these issues that he deals with on a constant basis.

The pills either make him feel worse or don't help him at all. I have changed our family's eating habits and lifestyle to try and alleviate some of his discomfort. It has helped a little, but not a whole lot.

In the last year, Nick has really started to take his health a little more seriously. He is close to retirement. After watching all the hassle I went through to get my benefits through the VA, he knew he needed to really start documenting his health issues. Documentation is EVERYTHING when it comes to the VA and getting benefits. If you just show up at your exit physical complaining of all sorts of medical issues, the first question they ask is, "where is your documentation?". He also began to go see "the wizard" all on his own. The wizard is a term that some Marines use to call a therapist. I have asked him to go see a therapist several times, and I always got the typical answer...







So when he told me that he had started to go see "the wizard", I was genuinely shocked and so giddy inside. I tried not to be weird about it though (which I probably was), and thanked God for answering my prayers. I know that there is still a lot of healing that needs to happen, and I am grateful that he's taken a proactive step towards that.

I finally felt peace as far as Nick and his experiences in combat. Up until now, I felt so "in the dark" about everything. Because he didn't want to talk to me about it, I didn't know how I could help him. Knowing that he was talking to someone (a professional!) about it put my soul at ease. 

Several months later, Nick and I were getting ready for bed, and he casually mentioned to me, "so, I turned in all my paperwork for a Purple Heart." I stopped what I was doing, and had to ask again, "a what?! You were injured in combat??? When? How?" I had so many questions running through my head. 

 
He told me how he was injured, and explained why he chose now to finally put the documentation in for his Purple Heart. He posted this on Facebook:

"You can’t prepare yourself for everything. No congratulations needed. 14 years have passed since we were in Fallujah. The scenario was about as kinetic as it could have been. Enemy fighters were trying to push out of the city to escape the tanks, troop carriers and the Marines that were moving in quickly behind them as they cleared house to house just like the did through Hue city in Vietnam. Our job was not as dangerous as that but just as important as we established our blocking positions near the cloverleaf to prevent anyone from leaving the city and to provide safe passage for the Maine effort as they moved into their attack positions. The only protection we had was from the guard rails in front of our vehicles and minimal micro terrain. The enemy attempted to soften our position with rockets, small arms fire, and mortars. While I was moving between vehicles I was caught in it and I don't understand how I came out of it with all of my limbs and only received some secondary shrapnel and a concussion from the incoming mortars and rockets. I have kept this mostly to myself and between me and some very close friends. I didn’t burden my family with any of the details of that night or any other night. Today I received a Purple Heart from that night. The only thing I can say is it is an honor and privilege to wear it for those who no longer have the means and a burden to bare until the next life. I am honored and sad. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure how I feel. Maybe at peace. Semper Fi. I wear this for you Vincent Bell, Louie Cardin, Benito Aguilar, Jordan Stanton, Donald Hogan, Andrew Brownfield and the hundreds who made the ultimate sacrifice. Rest easy and we will remember you always. Thanks to Hana and the kids for keeping me grounded and forgiving me for everything and to my close friends who always lifted me back up."

Nick was officially diagnosed with traumatic brain injury (TBI). It was finally an explanation for all his health problems and symptoms he has been experiencing for all these years. He's been given a referral the the TBI clinic at Camp Pendleton, and we are so grateful. They have one of the most state of the art TBI clinics in the nation. It's truly a blessing.

His Purple Heart was approved, and his long overdue Purple Heart ceremony was last Thursday. He didn't want a ceremony. He actually told his XO, that he would be totally ok with him just putting it on his desk when it comes in. I wouldn't stand for that. Not after all that we have been through as a family. I also know his unit would not let him just have it "put on his desk". The Purple Heart is weird in the fact that it's an "award", but not one you can really earn on your own merit. I know several Purple Heart recipients have told me that they feel guilty wearing it, because many of the service members who got the same award didn't make it home alive. I see it as a symbol of sacrifice, and I am really proud of Nick.  

Here are some photos I managed to snap with my iPhone from his ceremony. Someone took some nicer photos, but I don't have those (obviously). Nick felt really weird that people wanted photos with him, but oh well...

This is Nick with two other 2ndLts that he went to TBS with. 

I know this post is long. If you made it down here, wow....you have too much time on your hands and need to find a hobby (kidding...maybe). It was actually way longer, but I condensed it and took a lot of details out. I guess if you really want to know more, you can ask me! I really wanted to share a little part of Nick's story, and our family's journey. Like I mentioned before, I asked Nick if he was ok with me sharing this. I know it's very vulnerable for him. I'm a very open person on social media, and on this blog, but when it comes to sensitive or personal matters that involve my family, I always ask before I post. The biggest thing is, we just want other families who are dealing with combat trauma and the wounds of war to know that they're not alone. 

Instagram: @semperagblog

The Month of the Military Child

Gosh, it's been a hot minute. Every time I make a bold claim that "I WILL keep up with this blog", I fail miserably. The truth is, I Instastory my life so much, that I find myself not being as inspired to blog. I have yet to switch my blog to Wordpress (like I have been saying for MONTHS), and who knows if that will ever happen. But anyway...

I shall grace you with my rambling today...

Since April is the "Month of the Military Child", I thought I'd share some things about my own two children and how awesome they are.

If you're a longtime follower of my Instagram/blog, I don't have to repeat my life to you. But if you're new, I'll give you the "Barney style" rundown. I am a former Marine of 10 years, married to a current active duty Marine (who will hit 18 years of service this July), and mom to 2 pretty fantastic military "brats". If you're really curious to know the whole back story of how my husband and I ended up together...just click here. You can read all about our whirlwind elopement in fabulous Las Vegas.

Back to my 2 fantastic military "brats". I have a love/hate relationship with the term "military brat". When used in the right context, it can be endearing.

Who wants to be called that anyway?! I have said this a gazillion times that military children should be the most respected members of a military family. Why? Because my husband and I CHOSE to serve. I CHOSE to marry my active duty husband. My children had NO CHOICE. They were born into our family, and forced to live this life. Not that children ever get a choice in the circumstances they are born into, but that's a whole another blog post for another person to write about. 

As parents, we have tried our best to give our kids the most "normal" life with the best opportunities we can provide. My children are involved in sports, music, activities, playdates...all the things that "regular kids" do. We make holidays special, and celebrate everything and anything that is a reason to celebrate! From that viewpoint, we are a pretty normal, All-American family!

Of course, circumstances due to the fabulous "Uncle Sam" will throw "normal" out the window in a heartbeat. My 9 year old daughter has been in 5 schools in 4 states...again...she's NINE. My 5 year old son has been in 3 schools in 2 states in his short lifetime. We tried to do the math once, and roughly figured out that both of our children have lived more of their life with their father deployed to combat or gone for training than with him under one roof. These kids are resilient.

My children have certainly "bloomed where they have been planted". Of course, we always go through an adjustment period, and I'm not saying it's always been easy. If anything, it's been rough. Our move here to Arizona from Texas was by far one of the toughest moves we have done yet. My oldest had deep seated roots in Texas with a group of friends that were thick as thieves. I think I shed more tears leaving Texas than any other duty station....not because I was sad, but because I felt like we were literally ripping our daughter away from an amazing life and group of friends. My son had just started Kindergarten in Texas, and after only 6 weeks (when he was finally getting adjusted), we moved and put him in a new Kindergarten class...in a new school...in a new state. Being 5, and being the "new kid" is tough, and I admire little Mattis for his courage and tenacity.

We have been in Yuma for roughly 7 months now, and it finally feels like home.

Our kids have settled into their new schools and have made friends. Most importantly, they get to live under the same roof as their dad, and that is a blessing. The things that most "regular kids" find so normal are things that my kids cherish. I wish you could hear the squeals of excitement when my husband has time to drive them to school in the mornings, or see the excitement on my son's face when he sees his dad on the sideline at his soccer game (cheering him on like a fool). The smallest things are the biggest things to a military kid.

They deserve a month to be dedicated to them. There is a generation of military kids growing up with a parent (or both parents) who have served in a wartime military for 18 years. I truly believe that these kids are going to change the world with the worldliness and experience in this oftentimes, uncertain life.

Just a Quick Separation

Our family got a whole 3 1/2 months together as a family before the Marine Corps decided "enough family time for y'all". Nick left today for a training exercise in 29 Palms (up in the desert of Cali) for about 6 weeks. But, I'm always a "silver lining" type of girl, and 3 1/2 months together as a family is the longest that we have all been together under one roof in over a year! I am grateful for that! For those who are new to my blog, Nick is an active duty Marine. Up until last October, our family lived apart from him for a year while he completed various schools and training on the east coast. 

No matter how many times we do this though, it still sucks. But here's the funny thing, it doesn't suck the day he leaves. It sucks the day before he leaves. I think it's the anticipation leading up to "the big departure" that makes it suck so bad. We are all trying to squeeze in as much quality time as possible right up until the very last minute, and it can be emotionally taxing. I actually hate it when Nick lingers around the house the day he is supposed to leave. I'm like, "just leave already!". 

These days, with iPhones and social media, separations are a lot easier than just 10 years ago. It was 2010 when Nick went on his first deployment to Afghanistan away from 6 month old Dannika and me. Even then, smart phones weren't really a thing (I think I had a Blackberry???), and the Skype connection was sketchy at best. I am grateful that we have more effective ways of communicating today. 

I am a big girl, and gone are the days of me crying myself to sleep in my pillow the day Nick leaves for anything Marine Corps related (yes, I used to do that). I think after being married to him for 10 1/2 years, I have just become a "seasoned" military spouse, and have gotten used to doing things alone without my partner. I actually look forward to the quiet evenings alone. I am 10 times more productive when Nick is gone, so I look forward to checking things off my list and getting into a good routine. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck for my kids...especially my youngest. Today, Mattis celebrated Martin Luther King Jr's birthday at his school. Each kid made little hats with their very own "I have a dream" statement. Mattis' said, 

"I have a dream to have my family live together." 

I cried. A boy needs his father, and this sentiment has never been more apparent to me than in this past year trying to raise Mattis without Nick. To all the single moms raising little boys, I raise my glass to you. It's hard. 

I always say that Nick's wife is the Marine Corps, and I am his mistress. I wonder if his wife is mad that he is paying his mistress' bills, and paying her child support 😆. Gotta keep a sense of humor in this oftentimes uncertain life. 

And I always send Nick a selfie the day he leaves so he doesn't forget the "snack" he has at home 😂

Mattis and I just returned from a wedding in San Antonio last weekend, so I'll be blogging about that soon! Y'all can always follow me in IG: @SemperAg_blog . I post the most random things.

A New Orleans Wedding (pt 3...the final day)

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Our family just returned from a short getaway to Goodyear, AZ to visit some dear friends of 10 years of ours to ring in 2019. We have been settling in back home, and getting ready to get back into the "school routine". I hope everyone's 2019 is amazing! I am definitely looking forward to a new year here in Arizona!

Finally! Here is the blog post everyone has been waiting for...the actual wedding!!!! Our family got so busy over the holidays, so I didn't get a chance to jump online to blog about my cousin Mark and his WIFE, Lisa's actual wedding day. 

Their wedding was absolutely stunning. It was a formal wedding, and not a single detail was left out. Their wedding ceremony was held at "The Cabildo" in Jackson Square. It was an absolutely breathtaking Spanish Colonial building right next to St. Louis Cathedral. It is a museum by day for local tourists where you can see all kinds of artifacts from old New Orleans, and learn about the history of the town as well. 

The prettiest flower girl I ever did see...

And have you ever seen a ring bearer this cool in your life?!

I think not.

I LOVED my dress...

All the cousins (minus baby Zoe)

Dang...I have a good-looking family.

The groom and the ring bearer!

I call this photo...

"the Matriarch and Her Cubs"

These are the only photos I got of the venue, and they don't do it any justice.

They had kindly asked no one take photos with cell phones during the ceremony, so we are all patiently waiting for the professional photos!

I loved that no one had their cell phones out during the wedding. 

As a guest, I enjoyed being able to watch the ceremony without someone in front of me annoyingly trying to take a cell phone photo, blocking my view.

Everyone got to just enjoy the wedding.

Here are my parents with Nick and me!

It was so nice to see Nick at a formal event in something other than his dress blues.

Look...I LOVE him in his dress blues (because he looks sexy af in them...), but man...he really cleans up nice in a tux too.

 Me and my babe.

The reception was held at "Capulet by the Water". It is a restaurant on the week days, and they host banquets and wedding receptions on the weekends! It is an 1800's warehouse that has been restored to a cool eclectic space. They had an amazing live band, and the appetizers and food was delicious! It was such a neat place, and we really enjoyed everything about it!

The ring bearers and flower girls!

They were so fancy.

Best uncle ever.

Nick asking my niece Lulu to dance.

Cause no trip to the bathroom with a bunch of girls is complete without a bathroom mirror selfie.

These are my gorgeous cousins (in high school) and old me.

My mama and her first son-in-law

Nick dancing with my oldest niece, Lyla.

I'm pretty sure this was the best part of the reception...

An actual ice sculpture of my cousin Mark!!!!

(Note, his body is actually not this disproportionate)

This was a surprise for him from his wife.

It was actually a luge. You could alcohol from his head, and it came out of the bottle of liquor carved into his hand. 

It was great.

We haven't seen too many of the professional photos yet. Once I get a couple, I'll post them! 

A New Orleans Wedding (pt 2)

Here is part 2 of a 3 part series of posts about our family's getaway to New Orleans for my cousin's wedding earlier this month.

One part of weddings that I always stress about is the attire for different events. I never want to be the person that is underdressed, but being the overdressed person can also feel a bit awkward. When I saw that my cousin's wedding rehearsal dinner was at the New Orleans House of Blues, I knew I wanted to wear something festive and sparkly. I was told the attire was "cocktail". As a 34 year old woman who has attended multiple weddings and military functions, I know that "cocktail" means different things to different people. I wanted to make sure I was going to be appropriately dressed. I think I asked my cousin's fiancé a million times about the attire for her wedding festivities. I eventually went to Instagram and did a poll about the outfit I had chosen to wear, and literally 41 out of 42 people told me to rock the outfit I had chosen.

I chose a rose gold, sequined jumpsuit.

I was extra and sparkly.

I got compliments on it ALL night by friends, family, and random strangers in the French Quarter.

The only downside to this outfit was the 4inch heels I wore.

We had to walk from the wedding venue to the rehearsal dinner, and even a short 5 minute walk is horrible in 4 inch heels on cobblestone sidewalks. 

Sweet Dannika rocked her cowgirl boots, of course.

And I always say, no one looks better in a bowtie than Mattis.

I mean, please...

My sweet cousins Michael and Daniel! I can't believe they're grown ups now!

One thing that I love about weddings is that it brings people together.

It's tough for our family to get together because we are so spread out all over the country.

Even holidays are a hit or miss since we have significant others and extended family that we have to split our time with.

It was so nice to have my entire family together!

My mama and me.

My mom's prettier than yours....

The food was amazing.

Their hors d'oeuvres were even better.

I really only came for the food....and wine...

My handsome date and me!

Here we are with the bride and groom!

The boys decided to do some squats...

My sister and me!

I consumed a little more alcohol than I had planned, which made me hungry...

So on our way back to the hotel, we got some boudin off the street from a street vendor.

I honestly don't remember if it was tasty, but I'm going to assume it was.

We had an absolutely blast at the rehearsal dinner mingling with our family and meeting new friends. The food was amazing, and drinks were flowing (a little too much for me...yikes). The House of Blues New Orleans was amazing, and we'll definitely be going back if we find ourselves back in New Orleans!