When Being a Stay at Home Mom Feels Unimportant

SIX days until Christmas. How did this happen? It was literally Thanksgiving like a week ago, right?! I thought I'd do a better job keeping up with this thing, but based on my last post, I have failed miserably. I feel like our family has been non-stop for the last month! Between Christmas shopping, weddings, kids class parties, working out, and being a wife, life hasn't been very generous with extra time for me.

It's actually shocking at how busy I am despite the fact that both of my kids are in school during the day, and I don't work. Every time I go to the nail salon, the nail lady ALWAYS asks me, "you off work today?" I always answer with, "I'm a stay at home mom", to which they reply with a judgmental tone, "what do you do all day when your kids are in school?"

It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I think I tend to compare my life as a mom now to my former life as a Marine, and that is a dangerous slope to go down. My life's purpose has changed drastically in the last 5 years, and there are days when I dwell on my former life as a career woman that led our nation's finest. My current life consists of volunteering in my son's Kindergarten classroom with a bunch of kids who don't wash their hands, but constantly want to touch me. Oh, and being the doting "trophy" wife to my wonderful Marine hubby (insert sarcasm).

Does this mean I wish I was back in the Marine Corps? Absolutely not. I love my life. I love being able to be so involved in my children's lives and in their schools.

 I love walking into my son's classroom to volunteer and see his face light up at the sight of me. 

I am fully aware at how blessed I am to be able to live a life where I do not have to work to provide for our family. I love baking and cooking goodies to send to work with my husband for his Marines. I love having dinner ready as soon as my husband walks in the door from a long day's work. But this life is so drastically different than just 6 short years ago that I still have days when I don't feel "important". I hear this is a common feeling amongst veterans that are finding their way in civilian life after service.

Anyway, I am hoping in the new year that I can finally get this blog updated to match my "not so new anymore" domain name. I thought of switching it over to Wordpress, but I'm pretty happy and comfortable here on blogger. My content is not changing, and this is just a little side hobby that I have, so staying here just seems right. I will probably post a "year in review" post towards the end of the month before 2019.

If you want to see what is going on in our life, just follow me on instagram @semperag_blog

Hope everyone is having a stress free and cheerful holiday season!

Here is our 2018 Christmas card (front and back)

Thanks to Shutterfly, of course!

It's The Most...

Stressful time...Of. The. Year. It's not the shopping, or money, or lack of time to get everything done like most people. For me, it's the fact that between both of my kids and me, we have been passing back and forth this sickness. I don't think we have had a clean bill of health in this home for the last two weeks! Praying that we are all healthy and "disease free" before Christmas!

I made a big decision last week to ask my boss to cut back my time at work to be more present for my kids and my family. I missed out on a few trips up to D.C. for "Officer wife" events (sounds so pretentious, doesn't it?), and my kids have expressed to me that they miss seeing me around at their school. I used to volunteer at LOT at Dannika's school, and it was nice to really be involved in her school life. This was a tough decision for me, because I am the type of girl that needs to work outside of the home. I am not meant to be a stay-at-home mom. But I realized with Nick being gone, how much my kids really needed me. I am also grateful to be able to choose to ask to cut back on hours without it affecting our family income drastically. I am INCREDIBLY blessed to have a husband who provides for our family so that I can make small decisions like this without worrying about our finances.

It's strange that at 33 years old, the thought of asking my boss for less days at work gave me so much anxiety. You gotta remember that I spent ten years in the Marines. If I woulda asked my boss to "cut back my time at work" in the Marine Corps, I would have been laughed straight out of the hangar to the flighline. Now that I have the "freedom" to request such things, it's completely foreign to me. I googled, "how to ask your boss for less hours at work" more times than I'd care to admit. The funny thing is, my boss is one of the most approachable people I know, and yet, I was literally a fish out of water when it came to this. **Note to the Marine Corps transitioning class people and the VA: We (us Jarheads) need classes on things like this. Hey, resumé building classes and interview classes are important, but so are classes on things like, "how to ask for less hours" and "how to quit your job"! No one teaches us these things! lol. But in all honesty, I was afraid that he would say something like, "well, I really need you 5 days a week, so if you can't do it, I don't know if you'll be useful to our company." Which, BY THE WAY, I expressed to him a gazillion times when I had "the talk" with him (over the phone) that he did NOT need to feel obligated to keep me because he felt bad putting someone out of a job. Thankfully, he graciously kept me around, and starting in the new year, I will work less days at the office. It's a nice feeling to know that what you've been doing at work is valuable enough that they want to keep you around. It's a huge weight off my chest knowing that I will have this time to be a mom to my kids and a better wife to my husband. It's also a relief to me that I will still get that "adult time" out of the home in a professional setting and working.

I'm truly blessed with the company I work for, as well as the support system I have within it.

So here's some of my life in pics!

I work out...

Every day.

It's the only time I get of "me" time, and I get two free hours of childcare at the gym!

#winning

So...

It randomly snowed in Texas...

Like a lot (for Texas)...

It happens like once every 10 years.

It was crazy...and everyone went crazy...

Me and the beautiful ladies at my work!

Miss Rachel came by before she started finals and went home for the holidays to drop of gifts!

My gift was the best (the wine and the socks)...Thanks Rach!

Our annual Gingerbread house....

It kinda sucked and wouldn't stay together.

Things just aren't the same without our master architect...Nick...

Dannika won her classroom spelling bee and advanced to her school spelling bee!!

She made it to the third round!!!!

I was super proud of her!

Matching Christmas PJ photos

Sibling bonding time...watching Christmas movies!

And I leave you with this...

A photo of my cuddle bug and me.

Mattis' love language is "physical touch".

It's uncomfortable for me because I am NOT a physical touch person...

The fact that this tiny human wants to constantly be all up on me is annoying at times...

But every day, I warm up to the idea a little more...

I am reminded that in a few years, neither of my kids are going to want to hug me...

So I take what I can, and cherish every moment....

Semper Ag!

So, if you haven’t noticed…

The name of my blog has changed! I think this one is here to stay for the rest of my blogging life. I’ll eventually get around to changing the look of the blog. Someone told me, “you should NEVER change the name of your blog!”. Some stuff about search engines and SEO…and a bunch of other blogging jargon that I could care less about. My blog is not something I make money off of. I started my blog to keep my friends and family updated on our life as a military family. Somewhere during that time, I ended up getting a small following of fellow military bloggers and families. So changing the name of my blog…is not blog suicide for me, folks!

I just felt like “Domesticated Combat Boots” was not a right fit for this season of life anymore. Domesticated Combat Boots was for a season in my life when I was leaving a 10-year career to become a stay at home mom/doting Marine wife. Well…we saw how long I lasted as a SAHM! I came up with Semper Ag. It’s a play on the Marine Corps’ motto, “Semper Fi” (which means “Always Faithful” in Latin) and the word “Aggie” (my college alma mater!). These are two things I’ll be for the rest of my life, and I thought it was a fitting “final” blog name change for me.

Other than that, life has been hectic. With Christmas in full swing in our house, I feel like I’m going a little crazy some days! The kids are eager to be out of school, and see Nick, and they remind me just about every day that they are ready for Christmas! I haven’t done any Christmas baking (like I normally do) over the holidays, but I do have all my presents wrapped and under the tree! I call that a small win in my book! Nick has been in the field this week, so we have literally had zero contact with him since Sunday night. It sucks for my kids, because they got so used to FaceTiming him every night before bed. It breaks my heart a little. Especially when your 4-year old asks you questions like, “Does daddy have to go back to Virginia after Christmas? When will we get him back???” These questions are always a stark reminder to me of what military children go through when their parent is away for extended periods of time. I always remind my kids to be grateful that their father is not in harm’s way right now, and we should celebrate and be happy with the fact that we will get to be together for Christmas. To my friends with loved ones deployed, I see you, and I think about you daily.

No photos to post this time. If you follow my Instagram @Semperag_blog , I post daily…mostly of my kids. Peace, love, and Gig ‘em!

Just Another Marine Family Holiday...

Looking back at the last several months, blogging has truly taken a "back seat" in my life. I love blogging, and I really do wish I had a little more time to do it! Between both kids being in school, gymnastics, homework, work, volunteering, my gym time, and Nick being gone, life has been quite hectic! I loved seeing everyone's Thanksgiving posts on social media, and for those who wrote about what they were thankful for, I enjoyed reading those as well! Our Thanksgiving was pretty dang awesome! Nick flew in on Thanksgiving morning, and stayed until Sunday morning. The weekend flew by, and felt entirely too short, but we were thankful to have that bit of time with him. Short visits like this past weekend toy with my emotions so much. I get this initial sense of relief and excitement followed by immediate sadness.

We spent Thanksgiving day with my family in Houston and enjoyed our traditional "Korean American" Thanksgiving. We do a huge "fusion" of Korean BBQ, Korean food, as well as the big turkey with all the sides. It really is as awesome as it sounds. After Thanksgiving, our family came back home to CS, and just chilled all weekend. Nick pulled the Christmas decorations down from the attic for me and hung Christmas lights outside. With Nick gone, I wasn't really in the mood to put a tree up and decorate like I normally do, but he insisted that I decorate. I know I am not the only military wife that doesn't do festive or decorate when spouses are away! It just doesn't feel right sometimes. I'm glad he made me though, because it does make my house feel more like a home (even with my better half missing).  I cooked a meal for him, and we really just enjoyed our time together as a family. It was perfect.

So, I think it is time I change the name of my blog. "Domesticated Combat Boots" fit me when I first got out of the Marine Corps. I hung up my uniforms and put away my combat boots to be a stay at home mom with Dannika. It was fitting for me in that season of my life. That was five years ago. Five years ago was also the day that my contract officially ended with the Marine Corps. As a Marine wife, mother of two, Marine veteran, and working girl...the word "domestic" doesn't quite fit me. Suggestions welcome.

Here are some pics from our weekend together as a family of 4! If you follow me on IG, you've most likely seen all of these.

Nick came in early Thanksgiving morning to Houston!

We were SO excited! 

9 long weeks without seeing him!

When your "baby" cousin shows up to Thanksgiving in her 5 series BMW...

From L to R: My cousin Mark and his NEW FIANCÉ Lisa, cousin Tiffany and her longtime boyfriend Nathan, the glorious me with my Gig 'em thumb, and my handsome hubs,

My Uncle Mike and Mattis.

My grandpa and Mattis (throwing up a "gig 'em"...of course)

We babysat my friend's sweet dog last weekend as well!!!

Sweet Gracie was the BEST houseguest ever!

She helped me wrap gifts...

Me and my guy

This is one of two trees in my house. 

We have a family tree that our whole family gets to decorate, and a "mama tree".

The "mama tree" is one that I get to decorate all on my own with my own ornaments with no help from anyone.

The day that Nick left was the saddest...

After an amazing week together as a complete family, having to send him back to Uncle Sam sucked.

Mattis and Nick's bow (he decided to take his bow to go hunting on weekends we wasn't busy)

We have done this a million times (it feels like).

It never gets easier though.

In fact, it gets harder as our children get older.

My sweet Dannika has gone thorough more separations from her father than any child should have to go through...

But as she's gotten older, it's gotten tougher for her tender heart.

She is a daddy's girl, and watching her say her tearful goodbye to Nick broke my heart.

We are almost at the end of our first week since Nick left, and we are back in the swing of things.

The kids and I are back into a routine again, and we anxiously waiting for Christmas when we can see Nick again.

I hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I pray that all of you have a great holiday season.

Much love from me...

Happy (belated) Valentine's Day!

Howdy! I didn't get a chance to blog this past week due to some exams I had to study for! This is the first time in a while I have some "time to kill", so I figured I'd hop on the ole blog and give y'all and update on our Valentine's Day!

For those who know me well, y'all know how much I love a holiday and a reason to do extra special things for my family. I get it...some people hate Valentine's Day. "It's commercial." And my favorite...."I celebrate my love for (so and so) EVERYDAY of the year! I don't need a day to show them." (which if you've been married longer than five years and have children, I'm gonna call BS). Nick and I have been happily married for almost a decade now (whoa), and we've been through many ups and downs. We also have two rowdy, lovable kids that take up most of our attention most days. Usually, I am in bed by 9 while Nick is up till 1AM studying, and I am up by 4AM to study while Nick snoozes away. Our marriage is not all romance and frills every single day. Some days, we irritate the heck out of each other, and other days, we can't get enough of each other. It's called balance...it's called marriage. We do make a point to tell each other I love you every day. When I can actually remember, I tell Nick how much I appreciate it when he cleans the house and does the dishes for me. We haven't been up together in a week and a half to do our bible study, because frankly, between studying for tests and kids, we are exhausted. Balance.

But this is why I love Valentine's Day. It's a day to remind us to just take a break from it all, and really celebrate our love for each other and our kids. I love having a reason to do special things for people and my family. And even with all the exams I have been cramming for, I made it a point to make it special.

The kids had heart pancakes, and pink lemonade in "fancy glasses" for breakfast....

 Pancakes are courtesy of Nick!

I like to take fun Valentine's day photos of the kids every year, and use Tiny Prints to make Valentine's Day cards for Dannika to pass out to her class. 

They always turn out super cute, and adds a personal touch to her Valentines.

They're great little gifts for family and friends as well!

 I had a test the day of Dannika's Valentine's Day party, and she was bummed I wouldn't be able to make it.

Literally the first class party I have ever missed of hers!

Luckily, our sweet nanny (Nicolette) went in my place and joined Dannika for her party. 

THANKS!

Nick and I went out on a long overdue date night last Friday as an early Valentine's Day date.

We checked out a local restaurant (Madden's) in downtown Bryan that we have both been dying to try.

It was DELICIOUS, and I can't wait to go back there!

 The night was young (like 730), so we decided to head to a local, Marine veteran owned bar, West End Elixir to have a drink.

Dripping Springs and soda with extra lime...

We were ready to head home by 9pm (because we are old and don't stay out past 9).

I hope y'all had a fun Valentine's Day, whether it was celebrating with your love, your kids, or your friends!

Have a great week!

2017 Thoughts

Happy 2017, y'all! 

I'm a day late, but only because I've been sick and in bed all day yesterday (just a little cold and maybe some bronchitis). I am feeling a little better today, but still not well enough to be out and about. Thankfully, my illness did not hit me until after I got to ring in the New Year with our friends and my family. I am sad that I was not well enough yesterday to make my family a traditional New Years meal of collard greens and black eyed peas! My sweet husband made our kids pancakes for dinner and let me lay in bed and binge on Netflix.

Our family rang in the new year with our neighbors turned best friends on our cul-de-sac. I didn't think I'd make it to midnight, but I did! In fact, my entire family did, kids and all! My kids may have been a little delirious, but they were determined to make the countdown. 

 Only in Texas will you see someone wearing a tank top on New Years.

sparklers!

Cheers with Martinelli's sparkling cider!
It's hard to tell in this photo, but Dannika's eyes are bloodshot and she is delirious.

Happy New Year!

3 New Years together in a row!

This year marks our 3rd New Years in Texas. It's hard to believe how fast time has flown, and how quickly the end of our time here is approaching. 2017 will be year of big changes for our family. Nick and I will graduate in August. In October, he will be headed to Quantico, VA for six months for the basic school. I am staying back here in Texas since it's counterproductive to pull Dannika out of 3rd grade at the beginning of the school year just to take her to a new school for 6 months in a whole different state. That, and I am trying to cherish every minute I have left here in "God's Country". I'll be back to my all too familiar life of "solo parenting". I've been so spoiled these last few years having a constant partner (Nick) to help raise the children and just be around all the time. I'm a little nervous about being alone (although by now I should be a pro). I guess all good things have to come to an end, and you can only "run" from the Marine Corps for so long until it catches up to you. In a strange sense, I am sort of excited to move onto our next chapter of our life. I can't believe I just said that since y'all know just how much this Texas girl loves being home. So much of my heart belongs here in Texas. But, the adventure that awaits our family is also exciting to me. I guess this is why God made me a Marine, then a Marine wife. (Oh wait, as long as that "adventure" isn't back in Massachusetts, I'll be ok.) Who knows where we will end up? Ultimately, we would love to go back to southern California or go overseas to Japan as a family. However, as every good Marine should know, making plans or having wishes in the Marine Corps just sets you up for disappointment. I am just relying on God to place our family where He feels we can flourish. "Bloom where you are planted."

But, before I start thinking too deeply into 2017 and beyond (and stress myself out), I'm going to soak up everything amazing that God has in store for me right now (except for this nasty cold...this cold can leave now, thank you). 2016 was pretty awesome, and I pray that 2017 is just as amazing. 

I'm gonna go lay down now, and allow my kids entirely too much time on their Ipads so mama can rest. Nick went back to "work" today. Although he is a student, he is still an active duty Marine, which means that just because A&M is still on winter break, doesn't mean the Marines are. He's probably doing some menial tasks around the Trigon (the ROTC offices at A&M) like painting rocks and spray painting ammo cans or something (y'all think I'm joking, but you ever want to see some gunny's working like LCpls, come here and check out our MECEP'ers!)

Best wishes to everyone in 2017. I noticed a lot of my friends talked a lot about how 2016 was horrible, and my prayers for y'all are that this year is "your year"! Cheers!