Sundried Tomato Date Week 8

Well, this week has been the longest week by far.

Nick had to make a short visit to FOB (Forward Operating Base) Edinburgh to take care of business, and while he was there, I didn't hear from him once.

I was getting used to hearing from him via email pretty regularly, so an entire week without an email or phone call....sucked mucho.

It was worse especially cause this week was the FIRST week that I really needed the comfort of his voice.

However, I did get a huge smile on my face when Kim's husband, Sunny told me that he met up with Nick and got to hang out.

They were like little kids being reunited after a long Summer vacation.

Sunny is coming home in a few short weeks with 2/4, and Nick and Sunny have become good friends through Kim over the past few years.

How cool is that?! They got to hang out in AFGHANISTAN!!!!

Some husbands meet up to go play golf at the country club...Marine wives...our husbands meet up in combat.

It put me in an even better mood when Sunny posted pics of them on his facebook.

I was over the moon!

I hadn't seen a picture of Nick since he left...minus our 2 Skype dates that lasted like 5-10 minutes.

Look at these two handsome fellers...yes, that is a hatchet that Nick is holding that Sunny gave to him.

Nick's starting to grow his hair out (it's cold in Afghanistan this time of year!), and Sunny....well...he's a sniper...they don't believe in haircuts. He is sportin' the "Sniper 'high' and tight"

They smoked a cigar together for the birth of Sunny's son, Logan. (He was born 3 months ago, and Sunny got the hear the entire birth over the phone).

So other than that....

I have been DETERMINED to make the best of the time that I get to spend with Dannika.

I was starting to get really depressed thinking about the lack of time I get to spend with her due to work.

One thing I started is bubble baths with color drops.

I never let her have fun in the tub.

Normally, it's...get in...get clean...get out.

I wanted to spend some time with her having fun though, so I bought bubbles and the color tablets.

I had so much fun playing with her and watching her just do her thing in the tub.

I wish I woulda known sooner how much she enjoyed being in the tub by herself with some bubbles and colored water :-\

I asked her to say a prayer....

And lastly...

Today was our EIGHTH Sundried Tomato date!!!!!

Have a great week!!!

Supposed to be Stronger

The last deployment, I literally fell apart the day Nick left.

I was on recruiting duty with a 6 month old that I had never been alone with for that long...ever.

I honestly didn't know how I was going to make it.

My boss actually told me to take 2 free days off of work to get myself together without taking leave.
"No kid needs to see their recruiter fall apart at work" were his words to me.
I fell apart a week later in front of my SgtMaj when he came to do my eval and he actually had the nerve to ask my boss "What the hell is wrong with Romer?"
It's like, WTF? I may be a Marine, but I'm a wife and a mother.
Am I not allowed to cry?
Apparently, Marines don't cry....but I do.

I told myself since December...that this time...I would be strong...stronger.

I considered myself a "seasoned veteran" of deployment.

I told myself often this should actually be easier for me than the normal Marine Corps wife, cause I knew firsthand what it feels like to be forward deployed.

These are things I kept telling myself.

I actually psyched myself out about this deployment.

I told myself things like...

"It'll be sooooo good to have some 'me' time."

"I'm too dependent on Nick, and I've lost some independence, so it'll be nice to gain it back."

"Dannika is older now, so I can actually do fun things with her."

"I'm a care package queen. I can't wait to start making care packages."

This deployment HAS been easier.

In fact, I didn't cry the day I dropped Nick off.

I didn't stick around and wait for him to draw his weapons at the armory to say goodbye.

I simply dropped him off at the armory, gave him a huge hug, and a kiss....and told him not do to anything stupid and to come home :-)

And off I went...back to my house...just Dannika and me.

The weeks have been flying by, and I hardly have a moment to miss Nick.

Doesn't mean I don't miss him...

I just don't dwell on it so much like I did last deployment.

Today was my first bad day since he left.

Dannika's been sick, so she's been super cranky.

My patience has been running really thin.

I missed a chance to Skype with Nick this morning cause I wanted an extra 20 minutes of sleep.

I put Dannika down for a nap, and just kinda sat here and lost it for a minute.

Honestly, I think it's harder for me being a Marine and married to a Marine.
I try and put up a front that, "I got this", but in reality, I face the same realities every day that everyone else faces.
I just have to put up a front more because I go work everyday in a uniform and have junior Marines to take care of.

I can't do the things that I see all the other Marine wives doing cause let's face it...the Marine Corps has never been (and never will be) a 9 to 5 job.

I don't do middle of the week play dates cause I work an hour away from where my daughter is in daycare.

I don't get together for coffee and tea with the ladies on a Tuesday afternoon cause I can.

I don't get to complain on facebook everyday about how my child is being a brat and I need a glass of wine....even though I'd rather be home dealing with my bratty child than spending 10-12 hours a day away from her.

I get frustrated when I don't pick up Dannika on time from daycare cause I had to be at work late to discuss why my Marine (a grown man) got a DUI the night before.

Even if it's 20 minutes, I feel like I lost 20 minutes of my evening with her.

Sometimes, I feel inadequate as a mom cause I feel like I work more than I get to spend time with Dannika.

Other times, I feel like Supermom.

Sometimes I feel privileged to have a good paying job to be able to own a small modest home in the affluent Orange County and my dream car, Benz :-)

Ultimately....

I am envious and jealous of stay at home moms. 

I feel like they have the hardest and best job in the world.

The most rewarding job.

Maybe a job that doesn't get the credit it deserves, but what Marine TRULY gets the credit they deserve unless they sacrifice their life?

I really can't wait to do that...be a SAHM that is...not sacrifice my life...(in case you got that twisted...lol).

Until then,

I'll keep being stronger.

I'll be proud to tell my daughter when she's older that her mommy was one of the best...

A U.S. Marine

What kid can say that?

This kid can (below)

Lucky Number 7

This is weekend NUMBER 7 without Nick.

Our weekend has been insanely busy!!!

Yesterday was one of Dannika's best friend, Jackson's 2nd Birthday party!

She was PARTIED out at his 'Cars' themed party.

And my friend, Becca is one insane party thrower. 

She literally invited like 50 people!

I would never invite that many people for fear of what would happen to my house!

It ended up being a huge success and we all had so much fun (and her house was fine).

I did learn a few things at the birthday party...

1. I am rethinking the thought of having more children. After spending 3 hours with 15 or so screaming, crazy, cake sugar high kids...I needed a Xanax...I actually need one just thinking about...haha.

2.  I am really socially awkward when around more than 4-5 people that I don't know or barely know...there were literally like 30 people that I didn't really know well there. ONE of the many reasons why I don't really like going to spouse's socials. If you were there, you probably noticed, I stuck close to my comfort zone...friends that I already know and have known for some time now. Again...I needed a Xanax with the amount of people that were there! I should work on that. Maybe I'll try exposure therapy...we'll start with a spouse's social that Nick's unit does once a month...or maybe not.

3.This kinda goes back to #2, but I am more comfortable around women I know really well and guys. I just get along better with guys. I've been a Marine for 9 years now and I am the ONLY girl as of now in my work center. I will have to write a WHOLE another blog about this topic. For the majority of the party, I sat outside with two close girlfriends and one of their husbands. I had the most fun laughing about randomness with them, and my friend's husband is HILARIOUS. He definitely made our convos a little more lighthearted. 

4. It was nice to talk to some of my other friends about the deployment. I told them that I was enjoying the time apart from Nick. I was having a lot of fun doing mommy and me things with Dannika. I miss him like crazy, but I don't dwell on it as much as I did last deployment. I'm pretty sure I was sobbing depressed every single day last time. This time, I'm embracing it! I find that talking on facebook about how depressed I am and how much I miss Nick, makes me really depressed. I've managed to keep those feelings to myself and just post positive posts and posts about how awesome Nick is, and how lucky I am to have him. It helps! Try it!

After the party, I sat in traffic for an hour and a half, got home, picked up Nick's care package, drove to the post office to find it closed, went grocery shopping, and went on our traditional Sundried Tomato date.

This was the first time we went for an early dinner.

We normally go for brunch.

However, the staff that we always see were there, and it's really cool that the manager makes it a point to always brings our food to us now.
I will have to get a picture with him, Dannika, and "Nick".

No, I am not saying that if you didn't marry a Marine, you're not a real woman. It's a figure of speech. And let's face it ladies...it really DOES take a special kind of person to deal with the Marine Corps on a daily basis. Hence the reason that our divorce rate alone in the Corps is at 80%!!!!!!!! The average person can't handle our life!

On to weekend number 8!! 

Slideshow Love

I'm home all day with my sick baby.

She's really crabby :-(

While a free day off of work is always welcome...it's unwelcome when it's because I have to tend to a sick child.

Oh, the perils of single parenting...

I'm just happy she is sleeping a lot.

So, as most of my friends know, I own a Mac and have a slight obsession with it.

I hate PC with a pash (yeah...it's a word I just made up).

Everything I own is a Mac.

I have the 27" Mac desktop.

I have a Macbook laptop that is currently on deployment in Afghanistan.

I have an IPad 2 that I waited 6 weeks to receive because I HAD TO have it when it first came out.

I am currently waiting on the IPhone 5 to come out, and I will probably be one of the maniacs camping out at the Mac store the day before release (ok, not really, but I did consider it before).

One of my favorite things about my Mac (besides IPhoto, Aperture, ICloud, Apple mail, Safari....etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.) is the IMovie feature.

It makes it SOOOO easy to make cute little slideshows and movies.

I used it to make Dannika's 2nd Birthday Party Slideshow {you can watch it below, but I am warning you that it is LONG...I had it play continuously on our TV during her entire party}

I actually had a lot of fun making it, and it didn't take me that long!
I think it took longer for me to pick out which photos I wanted in it.

So today, while I sat here missing Nick, I decided to make him a slideshow of "Us".
I know...so cheesy...and people are probably hating on how disgustingly mushy we can be.
I can't help it...we just never left the honeymoon stage!
I fell in love with Taylor Swift's video Ours, and the song seemed fitting so that's the one I chose for the music.

For my military wives who haven't seen it...watch it below.

And...
Here is my final product.
Enjoy it if you must...and if you don't want to watch it...I'm totally ok with that too.
It was made for my better half :-)

Compassion

These last few days have been hard for me to be compassionate towards others.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that Nick is gone, and sometimes I get selfish and think it's unfair that I have to go through this.

That, I know, is the wrong attitude to have, and God is probably rolling his eyes at me.

I also have a big mouth.

I have what some people would call "diarrhea of the mouth" (sounds pleasant, huh?)

I just say things sometimes without thinking, and by the time I'm done...I'm smacking my head over and over into a wall saying, "WHY WHY WHYYYY Did I say that?!"

Church helped me to calm down and just reflect on the last few days.

"Water under the bridge..."

Here is my cute little angel getting ready to go to Sunday school. I love getting her after service is over and getting a goodie bag with all the cool arts and crafts she did that day.

Can you believe that we went 2 1/2 years without a "band aid worthy boo boo"?!?! Surprisingly enough, she fell in the church parking lot. I guess if there's one place you wanna get hurt, it's at God's house.

 

 Sundried Tomato Date #6 :-)

One of my friends called me a "Spartan Wife" after I posted this on facebook:

It's hard being a Marine AND a Marine wife...I don't worry about Nick like most Marine wives do...and for me...I think that if he sees combat, it's exciting cause I know I would be excited if I was in combat...the adrenaline rush is what we live for, and when I tell a Marine wife that...they look at me like I'm freaking crazy and like I don't care for the safety of my husband...when in reality...my husband and I are both Marines...we have crazy views on what we consider is badass...to include being shot at...and I'm not even in a combat MOS....maybe I'm not as normal of a housewife as I think I am. I love Nick more than my own life...I also love him even more and am more proud of him for his heroic actions in the Battle of Fallujah...I think it's cool.........call me crazy. You can take a girl outta her Louis Vuitton, but you can't take the Marine Corps outta THIS girl.

Remember in the Movie "300" when he is leaving his wife for battle and she tells him to 'Come home with your shield or on it'. 

Exactly how I feel. 

We had some backyard fun as well with the water table.

Nick put these up in our backyard. They make me smile.

I put crayola colored bath drops in the water for her. She thought it was so cool.

Oh and lastly...

Superbowl Sunday was last Sunday!

Dannika and her buddy Kanoa have spent every single Superbowl together since they have been alive!

Superbowl 2010 (Nick and Sunny were both deployed). Look how little our babies were!

Superbowl 2011 (Sunny was here, but Nick was in the field)

Superbowl 2012 (Nick and Sunny are both deployed again)

And this year, Mr. Jackson joined us :-) Look at how adorable these kiddos are.

Hopefully next year, we can all spend Superbowl together with our daddies!

Officially ONE Month

Today is officially ONE month since Nick has been gone!!

The Battery that he replaced came home today, and I'm totally excited about all the Romeo Battery wives!

This month has flown by for me, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the next SIX will fly by as well!

Dannika and I have been keeping ourselves suuuuper busy!

Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday, and we are going over to Kim's house to celebrate it!

Dannika and Kim's son, Kanoa have spent every single Superbowl together since they were born!!!!

It's a huge tradition!

Their first Superbowl, Sunny and Nick were deployed.

Their second Superbowl, Nick was in the field, so it was just Sunny, Kim, and the rest of their kiddos.

Their third Superbowl will be tomorrow...and once again...Sunny and Nick are both deployed :-(

Luckily, this time, we have our "Daddy dolls", so it will be Sunny and Nick's official first Superbowl Sunday together!!!!

Thank God that Sunny will be home in less than 2 months!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Sunday, Dannika and I had dinner with our adopted family, the Gilberts!

It was our first traditional Sunday night dinner with the Gilbert family since Nick has been gone.

They have become Dannika's California grandparents, Aunt, and Uncle(s). 

They became our second family during Nick's last deployment.

It is actually our (the Gilbert Family and ours) second deployment together for Nick...haha!

Other than that...

This week has been no different than the last 3!

I've been insanely busy at work, Dannika and I have gone to the Sundried Tomato Cafe every Saturday, and my Crossfit work outs get more insane by the day :-)

Life is good.

It'll just keep getting better.

When my other half comes home, it'll be perfect...absolutely perfect :-)

Happy One Month Tango Battery!!!!

Jeff Gilbert...of course HE would be the one feeding Nick his beer.

Melissa G....She's pretty gangsta. Dannika loves her :-)

Papa (LtCol G) and Mama G giving "Nick" some lovin'

SUNDRIED TOMATO!

 They have the best, flakiest sweet rolls!!

 Photobooth fun on our MAC

Photobooth fun before our 5TH date at the Sundried Tomato!