Semper Ag: Punishing Dannika Jane

I suck at following through with punishments for my kids. When I take privileges away from them, I usually give them right back at the first sign that I feel that they have learned their lesson. This means if I ground Dannika for a week, but I notice a day later that she is being her "angelic" self again, I give all her privileges back. Mattis isn't quite old enough to understand privileges, so we aren't at this stage of punishments with him yet. I have a hard time seeing my kids unhappy. It literally breaks my heart when I have to punish them. The saying, "this hurts me more than it hurts you" is REAL, y'all! I have realized lately that my failure to follow through with the full punishment for Dannika hasn't been effective.

You see, Dannika has a "gear accountability" issue. I never thought I'd be talking about gear accountability after the Marine Corps, but here I am. I lecture my children about accountability for their things probably as much as I used to lecture my Marines! Dannika loses EVERYTHING. Jackets, water bottles, bows, shoes...you name it, she has misplaced it, lost it, or who knows what happened to it. It's starting to get expensive to have to constantly replace her misplaced items...like JACKETS. Oh, and don't get me started on all those adorable boutique bows I buy her to adorn her beautiful brown hair. I want to cry when I think of all the money that has been lost due to her lack of accountability.

Last week was the final straw. She came home missing a few items I sent her to school with, and I nearly lost it. I realized it was partly my fault because I suck at following through with any real punishment, so I made it my goal to follow through and stay strong. I grounded her 5 days. No TV, no iPad, no playing with friends outside, no having friends over... It was the worst week to ground her. Our family had plans to go to the trampoline park on Friday night for an event Nick had with the Semper Fi Society. I was so excited for it, but because I was adamant about sticking to my guns, Dannika and I stayed home. She looked absolutely crushed and devastated she couldn't go. She was also not allowed to go horseback riding on Saturday for our neighbor's birthday party. The kicker was that Mattis was allowed to attend. Another devastating blow to my precious baby girl's heart. I even questioned myself and asked Nick if I was being too hard on her. He assured me I wasn't and told me to stick to my guns (TEAM PARENTING DONE RIGHT, Y'ALL!). It was a painful weekend for both Dannika AND me. Part of me felt like I was grounded too.

I knew she had learned her lesson and was genuinely sorry when she wrote Nick a sweet letter on his napkin and made him lunch (while I was with Mattis at the birthday party). After her punishment was over, I sat down and had a heart to heart with her about the value of her possessions. Dannika is the the type of child that will be heartbroken by the words, "I am so disappointed in you." So when I told her how disappointed we were in her that she did not value all the hard work we do in order to have money to buy her the nice things she has, she broke down in tears.

Lessons were learned. Tears were shed. And this mama survived making it through an entire punishment standing her ground. When it comes to punishing her in the future (although she rarely gets in trouble), I plan on sticking to this. It was effective, and I gained a little more respect from my daughter.

One thing she DID get to do while grounded was go to the gym with me.

I am NOT grounding myself from the gym because of my kids.

So here they are, bright eyed and bushy tailed on Saturday morning to work out with me!