Filtering My Thoughts on Social Media

 It's no secret, I'm on social media (Facebook and Twitter) a lot.

Being in the Marine Corps, it's tough to keep up with everyone back home.

With friends moving to and from all over the place (thanks to military life), it's nice to have one place on the web where I can have ALL my people in one place!

I am a sucker for cute baby pics, pics of my friends kids, pics of my friends, pics of my friends doing random things, and I even enjoy looking at pics of food that some of my friends love to post.

I also love reading the daily ramblings, doings, and thoughts of my friends.

I am also pretty vocal on there.

While I TRY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hard to stay away from politics and controversial topics, sometimes, I throw in a little opinion from time to time (usually starts a heated debate, and I either delete the post altogether or ignore it).

I have a tendency to blurt things out on social media without thinking, and sometimes most of the time it doesn't come out as intended.

You can't exactly type your emotions onto the computer screen.

example:

Wow! Thanks a lot for inviting me!

One person can read and interpret it as me showing gratitude to someone for inviting me to "whatever".

Another person can read that and interpret it as sarcasm towards someone who did not invite me to "whatever".

I also tend to overgeneralize a lot of things on social media, and a lot of people take it really personal. 

Fact: I never post anything that is specific to anyone without either tagging them or mentioning them by name. If I don't mention a name, it's a generalization.

 I posted this yesterday on facebook, and it "irked" a few people (thankfully just a few and not a lot!).

This offended a few people (the ones that like to post their motivational work out and crossfit memes).

Maybe I shouldn't have posted it at all, and quietly "hid" those people's posts from my newsfeed.

Actually, yeah...that's what I should have done, but I didn't...too late.

I don't want to "unfriend" all my friends who post these things! 

That is ridiculous because A LOT of my friends actually post these "memes".

I love all my friends for different reasons...their quirkiness, kindness, humility, sense of humor, etc. etc. etc.

I was just noticing a LOT more of those "workout inspiration" posts on my newsfeed with a bunch of ripped, fit people....not what a pregnant girl who feels fat wants to look at.

I'd rather just see actual photos of my awesome and fit friends doing their WOD's, 5K's, half marathons, and marathons.

I want to see posts about the 18 mile run one of my friends went on this weekend, and her encounter with a rattlesnake while training :-)

So I said my piece.

Not intended towards anyone in particular...

 it was just in general.

My intentions are normally not mean spirited, arrogant, ignorant, or annoyed, but I can see how sometimes it came be perceived as such.

It's just so hard to put your emotions into your posts, and some things need to be said with a certain tone of voice for it to really get a point across.

For people who know me in person know that I am really talkative and vocal in real life...just like I am on social media.

I love social media, and I'm very proud of my family.

I like letting people know about the awesome things my 3 year old does, and I like posting pictures of my family...because I truly am proud and totally blessed.

I just want to share a little of my joy with the world.

I just as much love it when my friends on social media invite me into their little world and share their families, friends, thoughts, and ramblings to me...even things I don't agree with.

I feel privileged to have such a diverse group of friends from all walks of life.

Happy Sunday Everyone!

Check out D and her wild hair!

D is quite the fashionista. She picked this entire outfit out herself...hat and Easter basket included!

The sad sad pup.

My weekend pinterest project. I painted my pantry door with chalkboard paint! I can't wait to start writing on it!

Before church this morning

Man and his dog

Seasonal Depression

In my entire life, I've never lived in a place with such a miserable and depressing Winter!

I grew up in the hot, humid Summers and the mild Winters of Texas.

Not only that, but I spent 10 years (minus my deployments to Iraq and Japan) in sunny southern California!

That's my ENTIRE career that I was lucky enough to be stationed up and down the coast of SoCal (from San Diego to Orange County).

You can imagine that New England was going to be quite an adjustment for me (to put it mildly). 

I got out here in November at the dead end of Fall.

Fall was gorgeous....cold...but gorgeous.
I've never seen leaves turn colors so vibrant like the pic below in my entire life!

 

Coming from Orange County (CA), anything below 50 degrees is considered cold to me.

Then came Winter....

WHAT THE HECK?!?

It was cold, miserable, snowy, rainy, slushy...did I mention MISERABLE?!

I totally became a "Winter hermit", and refused to leave my house. 

I didn't want to drive in the snow, walk in the snow, see the snow, or be cold.

Internet shopping became second nature to me because even driving to Target for basic necessities (like toilet paper) was not going to happen...yes...I order toilet paper online.

I was depressed all the time, and I grew to totally resent New England.

I realized I was suffering from seasonal depression (totally serious!) when I talked to my friend Jen.

She is a Missouri girl who packed up, with no job, no plan, and moved to San Diego (where we met and became friends) simply because of the Winters in Missouri!

She explained to me she had seasonal depression, and that there was no way in hell that she could ever live in a place with Winters like Missouri ever again.

I contemplated on more than one occasion about going back to my parent's house in Texas for the Winter.

The only thing that stopped me was the fact that Nick and I have spent SO MUCH time apart in our marriage between deployments, training, and separate duty stations.

 I just couldn't do that to him...or our little D.

Yesterday, we finally got some AH-MAZING weather!

We are talking high 50's, and the sun was shining all day long!

D and I spent 3 hours outside just hanging out, and Nick even came home early from work to enjoy the weather with us.

Just that little bit of sunshine for a few hours put me in the best mood I've been in since moving out here!

I couldn't believe how much a little sun just boosted my mood and energy!

D and I even cooked dinner wearing 6 inch esparadilles that I bought for Spring!

I really hope the weather stays like this, because I don't think my mental state can handle any more dreariness.

After the mood boost yesterday, I told Nick that now that I know that it was the weather making me so depressed out here, I may just have to move back home Texas every Winter :-)

 I've got this lovely bed to work with for my Spring garden. I'm thinking tomatoes...and anything else that's easy that I can't kill.

Afghanistan Emails

I decided to do some inbox cleaning today, and I came across a bunch of emails between Nick and I from the last few times he was in Afghanistan.

There's nothing significant about any of these emails.

Most of them go as such:

 "Hey baby.  I made it to lthrnk.  Getting settled in.  got some meetings and some training.  I will call you asap.  Gotta run.  Tell Dannika I miss her and love her.  I love you guys."

or (you gotta read from the bottom up)

I am trying.

-----Original Message-----
From: me
Sent: Tuesday, January 24, 2012 09:31
To: hubby
Subject: Re: hey

Call me

------Original Message------
From: Hubby 

To: me
Subject: RE: hey
Sent: Jan 23, 2012 21:00

How did the doctors appointment go baby?

-----Original Message-----
From: me
Sent: Tuesday, January 24, 2012 09:06
To: hubby
Subject: hey

call me when you get a chance. I am goin to bed now (its 830pm). Call me
tomorrow, k? I love you...want to talk to you.

 I can't find it in myself to delete them. 

I obviously saved and printed the long love letters he used to email me, but these short little notes that he used to email me is what I used to look forward to every day.

It gave me a sense of relief to know that he was OK and safe.

They hold memories of long lonely nights, the nights of crying myself to sleep, the stress of being a working, single mom, the days feeling sorry for my daughter...

They also hold memories of the fun mommy/daughter dates I got to have, the girls nights, the bonds and friendships I made with other women going through the same, and of course the countdowns to the homecomings. 

So I guess they will remain in my inbox until the end of time.

I don't even want to make a separate folder for them.

I want them to stay right where they are...

in my inbox...

just like how I received them the first time.

These are my favorite memories. The ones of being reunited.

Pregnancy So Far (19 Weeks)

How far along? I'm 19 weeks today. I've been miscalculating my pregnancy by a week!!! I thought I was 20 weeks! 

Total weight gain/loss: I have no idea. I refuse to look at the scale when I go into my Drs. appointments. I have kept my work out intensity the same as before pregnancy (so far), and our family has always eaten super healthy, so I think I'm doing alright!

Maternity clothes? At home, I'm usually in oversize tshirts and stretchy sweat pants. When I have to leave the house, I like my stretchy skinny pants! I'm barely showing still, so I can still squeeze into my normal clothes.

Stretch marks? Nope...zero! I didn't have any with D either. I have really good skin from my mom, and it's not prone to stretch marks.

Sleep: I sleep great! I can still lay on my stomach!

Best moment this week: Going for a run this weekend cause the weather was so freaking nice! (btw...it's freezing again and the wind chill is ridiculous...I knew it was too good to last).

Miss Anything? I miss a good cocktail. It's not as much fun going on fun date nights with the hubby (without the kiddo), and not being able to have a vodka martini (my fave). I also miss my abs...like I said, I'm barely showing. I just look like I've let myself go a little :-(

Movement: Yup! I can feel the little guy move around all the time! D hasn't felt it yet, but Nick has.

Food cravings: I AM NOT a dessert or sweet person, but this pregnancy has me craving cupcakes, ice cream, cookies, and muffins. I have found a ton of SUPER healthy recipes online to fulfill my cravings without all the sugar and fat. I also crave crispy apples all the time.

Symptoms: I have the pee a lot. I hate that when I start my work outs, I have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes for the first 20 minutes. I have slight mood swings. I got really emotional and mad at my hubby for eating one of my English muffins for breakfast (even though there were plenty left for me)...For whatever reason, I felt really possessive of my English muffins that morning. My hubby has not eaten an English muffin since...oops!

Have you started to show yet: Just a little. I'm at that awkward stage where it looks like I'm out of shape :-( I was in full maternity clothes with D by this point!

Gender: little man

Labor Signs: Too early!

Belly Button in or out? In! I don't think my belly button popped out till I was like 30 weeks with D.

Wedding rings on or off? On..in fact, they feel looser around my finger!

Happy or Moody most of the time: I'm moody...not cause of pregnancy (although it probably has some part in it). I'm still not used to living here in New England, and I dislike it here....a lot.

Looking forward to: Having a cocktail!

Second Baby Fears

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how different the early life of our second child will be compared to D's.

When D was born, I was an active duty Marine, and I only got 6 weeks of maternity leave before I had to drop her off at daycare for 9-12 hours a day (sometimes longer).

Up until she was 3 1/2, her weekday consisted of being forced to wake up at 430am to get ready for the day so that mommy and daddy could go to work.

She was dropped off at daycare/preschool at 630am, and spent her entire day there until 6 in the evening.

As sad as it was for me to miss out on so much of her infanthood, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I truly believe that being in daycare at such a young age around other children is the reason why she is such an easy going and social butterfly of a child.

Here's the thing.

I was ABSOLUTELY blessed with D.

She never had colic.

She began sleeping through the entire night at about 8 weeks.

She never had a problem feeding (and we switched from breastfeeding to bottlefeeding at 6 weeks).

She was hardly ever sick.

She was potty trained in one day (yes, ONE day) at the age of 2.

I never needed to baby proof our home, because she never got into anything!

She's never been the "clingy" kid who freaks out when mommy or daddy had to leave her in Sunday school or at a friend's house (so that we could have a date night).

In fact, I NEVER felt bad asking someone to watch our princess for us because I was 150% confident that she would be the EASIEST baby in the world to watch (and she was). 

People were astonished at how well behaved of a baby she was, and how easy going she was.

So I am having serious anxiety that this next baby is going to be the complete opposite of D.

I'm having anxiety about being home ALL. DAY. LONG. with this baby.

Will he turn into a complete mama's boy that has an absolute meltdown when I drop him off at Sunday school?

Will he be clingy and a crybaby?

I told myself after having D that if Nick and I had another baby, there is no way I was going to be working.

I want to experience every moment that I missed as a mother with D.

I'm just having fears now that because I was so used to a certain lifestyle of parenting with D, this one's gonna give me a run for my money.

It doesn't help that I had post partum depression a few months after D was born and was on medication for it....

Needing some prayers please!

This picture makes me laugh. This was after my first day of work since giving birth...exhaustion!