Hi, It's Me...the Flake

Today has been overall "not the greatest" day.

I am making an effort to say "not the greatest day" instead of things like "crappy day", "bad day", "horrible day", "worst day of my life", etc.

I truly believe that every day is a blessing and a gift from God.

I also understand that it can be taken away from me in an instant.

I had a conflict with a friend, made a less than stellar grade on an exam, and got a condescending email from a professor about something absolutely ridiculous.

So, today could have been better, but I am going to choose to be grateful for it.

I started my day realizing that Dannika's school's fundraiser (the only fundraiser they do) was this weekend.

They do a huge fall fest, and I am involved with it.

I volunteered my time at the very beginning of the school year for this specific event, and it is something that many people are counting on me to be at.

In fact, Nick has even gotten some of his Semper Fi Society midshipmen to volunteer their time on Saturday for this event.

It's a huge event.

 

I also made plans several weeks ago to go up to Dallas this weekend to visit a friend and go to the state fair together (and celebrate her birthday).

I had told Nick at the beginning of the Fall semester that I wanted to take some family trips this Fall around Texas...since this may be our last Fall here as a family.

So it felt like a perfect weekend when I agreed to make the plans to make a trip since it was an away game for us.

 

Do y'all see the conflict here?

 

I have a habit of over committing myself to people and things, and it's a habit I have been unsuccessfully trying to break.

This semester has been the worst.

I plan things, and flake due to things like...

"I am so sorry I can't make it, but I really need to study for my tests."

or

"I am so sorry I can't make it, but I haven't seen my kids or husband all week, so I am spending time as a family."

or

"I've had 3 busy weekends in a row, I REALLY need to fold this ten loads of laundry in my room." (ten is not even an exaggeration)

I just have so much going on, and not enough days or time to do it all...although I'd like to.

 

Home games are busy for not only our family, but this entire city it feels like.

Nick is President of the Semper Fi Society of A&M this year, which means the responsibility of the SFS tailgate sits on him.

We do our best to support Nick, so our family is at every single tailgate.

 

I wasn't anticipating how busy our fall schedules were going to be either.

Between interning, classes, kids, marriage, LIFE, and Nick's obligations to NROTC and SFS, our family has been spread thin.

When I realized that Dannika's fall fest was this weekend, I gasped, and could not believe it had snuck up on us so fast.

 I immediately messaged my friend to let her know that I could not make it.

I felt horrible about it, but I had hoped that as a busy mom and business owner, she'd understand that "life happens" and things come up.

I ended up being called a flake and I felt like I had ruined someone's birthday. 

I felt like I was scolded about how "my actions affect other people". 

I felt even worse for letting her and her daughter down.

My actions DO affect other people, but other people's reactions also affect other people. 

 

I've sat here feeling bad all day, and even confided in my best friend and husband.

I just wanted a little sympathy...which I received.

So I feel better.

 

Will she read this? 

Maybe.

Maybe not.

If she does, I hope she forgives me, like I asked.

I pray she can be understanding.

 

But I'm ready for tomorrow.

 

 I wasn't in the mood to do homework or read when I got home, so I decided to take my kids to our neighborhood park.

I haven't done that in a while, and although it was muggy, I had fun watching the kids have fun...

Just a photo I snapped of Kyle Field today on my way to my car from class.

It's hard to believe that just 3 days ago, there were 106,000 people here, and today it looks like this....

I hope everyone is have a blessed week!