The "Procedure"

After having two kids, breastfeeding my first for a whole month, and breastfeeding my second for an entire year...

It's safe to say that my boobs have taken quite the beating.

I never had boobs in the first place, but what little I had seemed to diminish after I completed breastfeeding.

Not only did they diminish, but they seemed to have started doing the "old lady sag", and I don't care what your definition of "old age" is, but 31 is NOT old!

Bikini tops that used to fit me before babies were now too big for my sad and deflated little girls.

I had made the declaration to Nick shortly after I had weaned my son that I wanted to get new boobs...breast augmentation (if you want to be all PC).

The more I thought about it, the more I contemplated my decision.

My internal struggle was with what my parents and Christian friends would think.

I was right with the big man in the sky with my decision.

I wasn't doing this for anyone else but me, and it was an extremely personal decision.

However, I was already imagining all the judging and hating that was coming my way.

Someone close to me (a Christian) that I confided in told me that "boobs are more sexualized...I just can say I would never get cosmetic surgery..."

 (First of all...boobs are sexualized because people make them sexualized...my boobs have never been naked on a photo, taken part in any adult film of any sort....but they HAVE fed and nourished two healthy beautiful babies.)

Was the comment, "I would never get cosmetic surgery" so necessary to add to this?

Does it make that person feel better (higher and mightier) than me because they would never ruin the "temple" that is our bodies.

Am I not equal in His eyes compared to you because I am choosing to "mess" with His creation?

I'm just going to add that if you wear padded bras to make yourself look "fuller" or "bigger" than you already are....wear spanx to appear thinner....make up to enhance your features....

This can all be because "you are trying to sexualize yourself".

  Peter 3:3-4 – Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 

 For the first time in my life, this is the time when I feel most confident in myself as a woman of God, a wife, and a mother. 

I love the person I have become after overcoming some pretty horrific trauma as a teenager and a young adult.

My inner beauty is my greatest asset.

I am kind to people.

I treat people the way I want to be treated.

I try my best to do good in the world.

Heck, I have even bravely apologized to people in person for being "a jerk"....something I would have been way too stubborn and prideful to do 5-10 years ago!

So after all this thinking and contemplating...

I went ahead and did it!

Last Thursday, I went in and had a breast augmentation.

I am so excited for them to heal.

I am so excited to be able to wear a fancy dress without spending a fortune on the perfect backless, strapless, super padded, push up bra....

I couldn't be more happy and confident in my decision to enhance a feature of my body that I was lacking a little bit of confidence in.

I don't feel more beautiful because I got new boobs...

I think everyone is beautiful the way they are made.

But I can honestly say that I feel a new sense of confidence that I didn't have before.