Being a "MILSPO"

Did you know today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day?

I've always held a deep respect for military spouses.

Sure, I was a military spouse as well, but so was Nick.

I mean, at one point there were TWO Romers on active duty, and we were both spouses to each other.

And even at one point there were TWO SSgt Romers!

Nick and I used to tell each other, "Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!" every year and laugh about it to each other.

As an active duty Marine, I never really HAD to embrace "military spouse life".

I mean, sure, I went through deployments, I dealt with the field ops, the training exercises, etc. etc. etc. just like any other military spouse.

But it was different for me because I also had the perspective as an active duty Marine.

Basically, Marine Corps community came first, then the military spouse community came second.

It wasn't until I became older and formed close friendships with spouses of Marines that I worked with or that Nick worked with, that I truly understood the "spouse community".

It's through these friendships that I learned just how amazing, strong, and steadfast military spouses  really are.

After exiting my life as an active duty Marine, I was kinda thrown across country to a place where there is barely any presence of a military spouse community.

 It's living here that has made me really look back and realize how amazing the group of women that I called friends in California were, and I longed for that camaraderie again.
While I have made many good friends here in New England, none of them quite realize or can understand what I have gone through with deployments, separations, and military life.
There's not a woman here I feel comfortable showing up at their house at 10pm, unannounced with a bottle (or 2) of wine, both kids, and a chick flick because I was missing my husband and couldn't sleep.
My biggest pet peeve is when friends compare my husband's absences to their husband's business trips.
No ladies...it's not the same.
He's not gone for a week here and there, or a day or two every once in a while...

I truly believe that in order for my husband to be at his best as a Marine is when his family is with him...rooting for him...cheering him on...by his side.

That sometimes means that we all take a backseat. 

My children will have to be the "new kid" in school more times than I can count, and I probably won't have a long meaningful career while my husband serves.

This is what makes military spouses so special....and different than the average woman.

I think about my friends, and the majority of them have degrees, skills, and jobs that they were not using because of their husband's call to service.

They have bachelor's degrees, master's degrees, PHd's, they have trades...

Some of them, at one point, had full blown careers that they gave up entirely for love of their Marine.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I hear Marines (mainly single ones) say that, "spouses don't rate anything because they don't deploy, and they're not Marines."

No...spouses don't deploy, and no...spouses aren't Marines.

But as a former Marine who has deployed, and as a former Marine who has also sat back to be "the spouse", I can honestly say that being a military spouse is the most emotionally challenging, yet completely fulfilling job that I've ever done.
And for the love I have for the guy I get to call my husband, I would do it a million times over.

Just think about it....

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

You ladies are my heroes. 

Losing Post Baby Weight

First, I just want to say that I am not a health or fitness expert, nor am I a personal trainer.

Everything I write about in regards to health or fitness is MY personal story.

I've shared with y'all my post pregnancy weight loss journey on my blog, and I love all the encouragement I've gotten about it.

I also love getting emails from women who have told me that I've motivated them.

It makes me feel happy, because in all honesty, the reason why I have documented my fitness journey and post pregnancy weight loss is for my own personal motivation.

When I let the whole world know about my goals, it holds me accountable.

But knowing that it's motivated others is really encouraging!

Health and fitness should be a big priority for everyone, in my humble opinion.

Healthy people are happy people....happy people attract other happy people....happy moms have happy kids....YOU GET IT.

With my 2nd pregnancy, I've lost the baby weight a LOT faster than I did with my first.

However, I feel like my weight loss journey has given some women really unrealistic timelines for getting their post baby body back.

I was watching Wendy Williams today, and she had an "Ask Wendy" segment with a doctor on weight loss.

A woman asked what a realistic timeline was for her to lose all her baby weight (she had a baby 4 months prior).

The doctor told her that realistically, it takes a year to a year and a half for a woman to lose her baby weight.

After hearing that, I wanted to blog about it.

I think women oftentimes forget that it took 9 months to gain all that weight, it's gonna take at least equal that time to lose it too!!!

With my first pregnancy, I gained 60lbs....I added 60lbs to my little 5'4 frame.

I was almost 190lbs when I was full term with Dannika.

 I'm not gonna lie, I ate EVERYTHING I craved when I was pregnant with her.

We are talking In N Out, Mexican food, dessert....anything my little heart desired, I ate it.

After I gave birth, I figured the weight would just fall off.

I was SO wrong.

The weight just seemed to cling to my body for dear life.

This was 3 months after having Dannika.

These pictures do no justice to the amount of weight I was carrying, but at least you get a clear view of my legs, stomach, and butt.

Here's a photo of me on stage at Pacific Coast Church in San Clemente, CA for Dannika's baby dedication (Dannika was either 4 or 5 months old).

Look at my thighs.

It took me almost exactly a year to lose ALL the baby weight.

Nick deployed when Dannika was 6 months old, and when he came back, he came home to this...

This was 13 months after Dannika was born.

 And I was bikini ready for our trip to the Dominican Republic a month after Nick got home from Afghanistan.

With Mattis, the weight has come off a lot faster.

The biggest reason is that I was a lot more careful with my weight gain during pregnancy with him.

I remembered how hard it was and how long it took to lose the weight after I had Dannika, so I held back on my cravings, ate healthy, and watched my weight. 

Having to lose less weight was obviously way easier.

I've also been training my husband to get his run time down for OCS. 

There isn't much that I'm better at than him (as far as physical fitness), but one thing is that I've always been a better runner than him.

I guess the biggest thing I want people to get out of this is that I'm not taking any sort of miracle drug or pill.

For some women it takes a year to get back to their pre baby body.

For some, it takes half that time.

It all depends on what work you put in, and most importantly, how your body responds!

 

I know my body and I know what my body responds to.

I don't take supplements because I'm breastfeeding.

I eat a lot of calories because I'm breastfeeding.

I make sure the calories I consume COUNT.

I work out 5 days a week with an active recovery day.

I switch my work outs up a lot for muscle confusion.

I lift weights.

I do cardio.

I have cheat days...a lot of cheat days.

This is what works for ME.

Find out what works for YOU, and stick with it.

Just keep in mind that that it took you 9 months to make a human inside of you, it took you 9 months to gain all that weight to sustain that human...

It might take you that long to lose what you gained to sustain that baby....

Patience...

DIY Dining Room Table

When Nick and I first got married, we were two young broke Marines.

He was a SSgt and I was a Sgt, and on paper, we were making really good money, but our bank accounts said otherwise.

We were young, irresponsible, and immature with our paychecks.

We were both in debt, and spending way too much money on booze and partying.

So when we took the plunge to get married, we basically did what most young and broke couples do, and we headed to IKEA for all our furniture needs.

You can't beat cheaply made, easy on the pocket book, yet chic furniture that you have to put together yourself....every single piece of it....

I remember sitting on the floor of our empty San Clemente apartment while watching Nick frustratingly and painstakingly put together the cheap Swedish furniture that adorns the homes of college kids, singles, and newlyweds across America.
 Here's a preview of our first apartment in San Clemente...

 We were broke, and had IKEA furniture, but we dammit, we had a nice TV...lol.

 Cute furniture....just cheaply made and not the greatest quality.

Obviously, IKEA furniture is not made to last, nor was it our plan to keep it forever.

As we progressed with our lives and our marriage, we moved out of the San Clemente apartment, moved into our first OC town home (that we purchased), and we slowly switched out our IKEA furniture for "real" furniture.

For whatever reason, we never got rid of our dining room set.

For something that was purchased at IKEA, it was a good and sturdy set, and we never thought to get rid of it.

It wasn't until recently when the cheapness of the materials really started to show in our trusty old dining room table, and I started shopping around for a new one.

I fell in LOVE with this french beam table from Restoration Hardware.

Unfortunately, the $3000 price tag deterred me from it...yep....THREE GRAND!

I continued my search, but for some reason, I kept being drawn to this Restoration Hardware table.

I HAD to have it.

After scouring Pinterest and Google, I found a DIY website ran by a lady named Ana White, and found a set of plans to build my own french beam table!

I showed them to Nick (my handyman), and he was confident that he could build it for me.

So on Sunday, we headed to Lowe's to buy our materials.

 We spent 360 dollars total to build the entire table (with the 10% military discout).

We only spent about 70 dollars on wood (we bought good wood!), another 20 on screws, and 15 or so bucks on the stain and polyurethane protectant.

Most of the cost went to the purchase of a new sander, and a Kreg Jig (the most important tool in building this table!

We started building this table at around 2 in the afternoon and finished at midnight.

Ten non stop hours of labor (with the exception of 15 minutes to eat dinner).

I helped out when I could put the baby down for a few minutes here and there.

It wasn't until after the baby went to bed at 7 that I really got in there to help sand and stain the table.

Nick did the majority of the "heavy lifting".

The finished product! 

Well, the table top hadn't been attached yet, hence the reason why it looks off centered.

It comfortably seats 8 people, and our next project is building a bench for one side of it.

I ordered chairs to go with it already.

I opted to go with white chairs, because I didn't even want to attempt to go around trying to find chairs with the exact same color finish as the stain we put on it.

I'm pretty proud of it!

More so because it was something Nick and I did together, and spent a TON of time on!

Nothing like 10 hours of bonding time over wood, stain, and power tools!

Welcome May!

Can you believe it's May, already?!

It's a little bitter sweet for me, because it's the last full month Nick will be with us until AUGUST!

He's leaving for OCS at the beginning of June and will be gone for 10 weeks.

Last night, he had his final event for the NROTC, and I am SO glad that it's done and over with!

He can now focus on preparing for OCS and spending some quality family time before he takes off...again.

I feel like he JUST got back, and he's leaving again so soon.

(In case you're wondering, he was gone from beginning of January through the end of February for 8 weeks this year.)

That means he will have been home for a whopping 3 whole months before leaving for 10 weeks this time again.

The light at the end of the tunnel for me is that this is the LAST time for AT LEAST 2 years that he'll be gone for such an extended period of time!

It's also the first step in getting closer to moving to Texas!

Just a few things we are looking forward to in the upcoming months...

 

1. Dannika's dance recital

I'm so glad that Nick will be here for it!

2. Mighty Mites

Dannika started a sports program this month that teaches kids the fundamentals of all different types of sports to get them ready for actual little league next year. 

3. Warmer weather

After the worst winter ever, I plan on soaking up every bit of sun that comes this way. My deck chairs are pulled out, and I will be laying out and basking in it (with my SPF on of course...girl does not want wrinkles!)

4. Dannika's gymnastics show

Nick won't be home for this one :( I'm hoping that they let him sneak in to watch a dress rehearsal though.

5. A friend that I served with in the Marine Corps is coming to Boston on a business trip, and is going to spend a night at my house with me!

An awesome girl friend of mine (whom I spent a lot of my early 20's making poor decisions with...lol) is coming to see me! I haven't seen her in YEARS! I'm so excited to have my Marine sister over!!

5. Syracuse trip in July

My brother in law's family lives near Syracuse, and I'm taking the kids over 4th of July weekend to visit and hang out with my adorable niece! Too bad Nick won't be here for that.

6. Welcoming Nick's replacement AMOI!

YES! Nick's replacement is on the inbound roster, and I am ecstatic! It just got more real that we are moving (as long as Nick completes OCS). I know he's ready to throw his "pack" at the new guy and run...run far far away from Boston, and I know I am going to be gladly throwing my "pack" at his wife and run far far away...

What I want to say to the new AMOI's wife....

"Here lady...have fun not having your husband every summer while he goes to train candidates at OCS...oh let me add the rest of the staff basically gets summers off from work and get to vacation and spend time with their families cause there is no NROTC in the summers...enjoy the "beautiful" winters here (totally sarcastic)...I'M OUT!"

May weather teased us yesterday with a beautiful sunny day...

No worries folks, mother nature wouldn't bless New England with great weather for longer than 2 days in a row. 

We are expecting rain tomorrow and more rain next week.

You know the weather's nice when my son is out and about in just a onesie and no pants!

First time swinging...

Because the weather's been crappy, and I haven't been able to take him to the park until yesterday.

My little soccer star before soccer practice.

Ok...maybe not a soccer STAR....

She's not a good goalie....

She's not a very good soccer player actually....

But the girl is the fastest one on her team!

We just need to figure out how to actually kick the ball once she beats everyone and runs to it...

Actually, a couple times, she just ran right past it....I have no idea where she was running...

We'll get there.

What are you looking forward to?

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Do you have anything that you probably spend entirely too much money on that you could probably do without?

For some people it's jewelery, designer clothes, shoes, handbags, kitchen appliances,....etc. etc. etc.

For me, it's cars and designer handbags.

I know...poor Nick...it's an expensive "hobby".

I've owned 9 vehicles in my lifetime...

I've been driving for 14 years.

If you do the math, thats 1.6 vehicles a year....
In my defense, Out of those 9 vehicles, only TWO of them were not purchased by me.
I have made my own money since the age of 18 till the age of 28.
My parents bought me my first car....

 ANYWAY,

When I EAS'ed from the Marine Corps, I owned a cute little black Mercedes.

Nick and I decided that since we were losing a significant amount of our income when I got out, we'd get rid of the Mercedes and its' really high car payments.

We were also in a lot of debt, and decided we needed to start chipping away at it.
Driving a Mercedes was not going to help.

I ended up replacing it with a used Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, and besides the lower car payment, it was an "EAS gift" to myself after receiving my honorable discharge.
I had owned a Jeep Wrangler before in my young single days, and loved it.
(side note: we became 100% debt free due to our decision)

Man, I LOVED that thing!

It was so fun to drive, and I loved how high it sat.

That is until I had another baby, and we realized his convertible carseat barely fit in the back, and lifting my 20 something pound behemoth of a child in and out of this thing was starting to be a pain in the butt!

Lucky for us, Jeep Wranglers tend to retain their value like crazy, and we ended up with positive equity on it.

I sold it in literally 1 day on Craigslist, and we headed straight to the car dealership the next day to get a new car.

We just recently sold Nick's truck because he bought a 1972 Chevelle with cash.

So we are officially a one car payment family.

 Nick decided to spoil me with an early anniversary gift...

So I am the proud new owner of a fully loaded (actually, the only thing it doesn't have is a sun roof) 2014 Mercedes Benz GLK350!

I used to have a 2011 model, and I really loved it!

I'm super excited to have it again!

I posted this on my Facebook...

"My husband bought me a new car today that was more than generous. It's the first time since high school that someone else bought a car for me. I've always made my own money from the age of 18 until 28 and have bought my own stuff! So weird! I'm so grateful, and I'm gonna enjoy it!!!!"

So this is the second vehicle that I haven't purchased on my own.

My husband did as an anniversary gift for me (our anniversary is May 31).

I am speechless because I don't deserve something so nice.

I am one lucky gal.

Thanks babe!

You're the best!