Just Morning Coffee

It's 5am, and I'm up.

I'm normally never up this early anymore.

I stopped getting up this early when I got out of the Marine Corps.

My weekday mornings normally consist of Nick getting up at 4-430 to go to PT, and I usually sleep in until the first kid wakes up (between 630-7).

But this week, I decided to start waking up with Nick to have a cup of coffee with him in the mornings before he went to work.

I used to do this when I first moved out here and the "newness" of being a stay at home mom was exciting for me.

But then life happened, and I realized being a stay at home mom isn't rainbows and unicorns every day, and I stopped getting up with him in the mornings to have coffee.

It's only Tuesday, but man what a difference those 15 minutes of coffee and conversation in the morning has made in our relationship.

It's not like we have these deep conversations over our morning cup of coffee.

We talk about our day, our plans, about the kids...

This morning, I reminisced about my time in the Marine Corps...

 

I talked about reintegration in my last post.

If it's a term you're not familiar with, it's basically the time it takes for your family to reestablish a routine when your spouse has been gone for a long period of time (and comes back home).

Our family is constantly being ripped apart and put back together over and over and over again...multiple times a year.

It's become so normal for me that when we are put back together, I don't quite know what to do...well I thought I knew...but I don't.

I did figure out this morning though while we were having our "cup of joe" together that I've been forgetting to take time out of my day to connect with my spouse. 

When he's gone, I establish a routine that works for my life without him.

When he returns, my world gets wrecked for a few weeks trying to reestablish a NEW routine that includes him.

Once I reestablish my new "normal", he already has news for me that he's going to be gone again, and I start mentally preparing for another routine that does not include him.

Just typing all of that was exhausting.

You can imagine (if you're not familiar with this lifestyle) how emotionally and mentally exhausting this can be.

So through all this establishing and reestablishing a daily routine with or without my husband, when he comes home, I'm too busy reintegrating him back into our daily life (kids, dinner, etc.) that I totally forgot the part of reconnecting with him as well.

We live in a time of Facetime, Skype, text messaging, and social media.

When hubby is gone, it's easy to communicate with him.

But all that technology is what I consider "false communication".

You can't really connect with someone on a deep level over Facebook or Facetime.

 

I chose the military lifestyle when I was 17 years old, and it was my life for 10 years.

I didn't know that I would fall in love with someone in this lifestyle as well.

I never knew in a million years when I was 17 that I'd ever give up this life to be a stay at home mom and Marine wife.

 

It's crazy.

But for now, I'm starting with "just morning coffee" every morning with the man I love.

 

 

I am also driving to my husband's work once a week (every Monday) to have a lunch date with him and the kids.

Yesterday was our first, and it was awesome.

He took us to this swanky little restaurant called the Eastern Standard.

My son just happened to love their bread...

I had the Eastern Standard chopped salad.

It was divine, and worth every penny.

 

This Life

I often talk about military life on my blog and the challenges that come with it.

It's a unique lifestyle that no other marriage has to endure.

I've always said that I would be as honest and real about my life on this blog as possible.

Especially since I get emails all the time from other military spouses telling me that they love reading about our life, and how we deal with things this life throws at us.

A lot of new and/or young military spouses that are just entering this life have told me how much this blog has helped them.

 

When I look back at my blog, it makes me happy knowing that the majority of my life, marriage, and kids have been blissful.

I've had some rough patches, and bumpy roads, but for the most part, I've endured them.

Nick and I have been married 6 years.

In those 6 years, we have gone through two Afghanistan deployments, the trials of being a dual active duty couple, the headaches of special duty assignments (recruiting and the drill field), multiple separations ranging from 2 weeks to a year, post partum depression, an anxiety disorder I developed because of this life, kids, selling a home, moving across country, etc. etc. etc. etc...the list is long.

I think it's safe for me to say that those 6 years have packed a life that some marriages don't see in 20 years.

It's been our life.

We've had highs and lows. 

We did the best we could to endure them and get through them.

It never occurred to me to look "back" at the lows to see how it was affecting my life NOW.

Looking back, I realized a lot of those "low points" were never quite resolved.

We just tucked them away in our memory, and moved on hoping for the best and hoping for a brighter future.

This weekend, those lows caught up to us.

It caught up to Nick in a way I've never seen him.

We fought.

We argued.

I cried.

I was irrational. 

Thinking now, I realized that our family goes through the "reintegration" process almost every single year that we've been married...and we go through it multiple times a year.

It's not like he goes on one 7 month long deployment, and he's home for a year.

He's gone for just enough time for our family to establish a routine without him, and BAM...he's home, and we have to start the reintegration process.

Then as we start the reintegration process and life starts getting back to normal....he's gone again.

It's like a vicious cycle that never ends.

It caught up to us.

I realized how emotionally tired and exhausted all of this could be.

I learned that my "cool as a cucumber" husband is as "cool as a cucumber" (meaning he never freaks out about anything or shows much emotion) because it's his way of coping with experiences in combat.

My heart and mind are a flurry of emotions this weekend.

I can barely focus.

I feel like a freight train just rocked my perfect and happy little bubble.

But I guess that's the point, and that's life.

I'm just kind of gave everything to God, and my heart's been at peace.

We talked.

We're working on us. 

We're starting with coffee together every morning (at 4am! eek! I haven't gotten up that early since getting out of the Marine Corps myself!).

I'm driving my kids and me into Boston every Monday to have lunch with him.

Just little things you gotta do to reconnect when this life overwhelms you.

I've always said...

No one can understand this life unless you've lived it.

And that's why I'm so thankful for the community of military spouses that I can cry to....complain to...

They. just. get. it.

 

The Mood Booster I Needed

I've been unhappy lately.

I mean, I'm happy...but I'm not.

Does that make any sense?

I'm happy with life and marriage...

 

But this Winter...the snow...the cold...it's really made me depressed.

I've been trying all KINDS of things to brighten my mood a little, and boost those "feel good" endorphins...I work out really hard every day to boost those feel good hormones...to get that "high"....

And while I'll have a good "mood boost" after an amazing sweat session, it's temporary because I have to go outside eventually. 

And I have to realize it's ridiculously cold and the ground is still covered with snow/ice.

But...

Our family received AMAZING news this week.

WE SOLD OUR HOUSE IN CALIFORNIA!

It was JUST what I needed to boost my mood and make me smile.

Our house has been on the market since the holidays.

We had several offers.

We had offers fall through.

We spent a ton of money to fix little things on the house.

(It's amazing how much you find out is wrong with your house when you try to sell it.)

We were paying the mortgage on our house in CA AND rent on the house we currently live in.

The house was sucking our bank account dry the past few months.

It was stressful.

But we ended up selling it for more than what we had asked for, and made a 29% profit on it!

I'd say that's some STELLAR news!

This was our family's first home.

It was a small, modest town house in South Orange County that cost a small fortune for us...lol.

It was the home we brought our daughter home to from the hospital.

 It was the home we made so many memories in attempting DIY projects to save money.

 Those projects that my hubby insisted would only take "a day or two" that would take him a week...

 Or the ones he said would take a week that would take him months....lol

 It was OUR home, and the first big decision as a married couple that we made together when we bought it.

It's a little bittersweet to let go of it.

I hope the new young couple that just bought it will enjoy all the headaches that come with it because those headaches of home ownership will turn into lasting memories.

And one last thing that's put a little pep in my step...

Our family is going back to the OC for one glorious week at the end of the month for Spring Break and my 30TH BIRTHDAY!

I'm hoping we get a photo like the one above while we are there with our extra family member that we've acquired since leaving the beautiful and sunny California.

I can't wait to see my best friend, feel sand beneath my feet, eat some amazing Mexican food, and soak up every bit of Vitamin D I can.

My husband may be coming back to New England alone....

Back To Routine (And recipes and stuff)

Today was my first day back in "mama mode".

The husband went back to work, and once again, I found myself chugging my coffee this morning while juggling the breakfasts of two kids.

It was a welcome change though after 5 days of being waited on hand and foot by my wonderful husband.

I crave routine in my days, and the past 5 days have been nothing close to a routine.

First thing getting back into a routine...

On Sunday nights, I make my husband breakfast for the week.

It's something I started doing for him because I realized the man never eats breakfast in the morning.

Recipe:

18 egg whites

1 Cup of almond milk (unsweetened)

3 Cups of chopped spinach

1 Cup of chopped baby bella mushrooms

1/2 Cup of cooked uncured bacon (chopped)

salt & pepper

(Preheat oven to 375 degrees)

1. Beat egg whites with almond milk

2. Toss in veggies and bacon

3. Dash of salt and pepper

4. Pour into a greased casserole dish

5. Put in oven for about 30-35 minutes (until eggs are cooked through)

I cut them it into squares, put them in zip lock bags, and throw them in the freezer.

My husband grabs a bag on his way out the door, and heats them up at work after PT for breakfast.

You can add whatever you really want to the recipe.

I like to keep it healthy.

Even the bacon is uncured, and I only put in half a cup for the entire casserole.

Out of the 5 days, I only worked out once, so I was really excited to get back into the swing today.

My 4 year old took this awesome picture of me doing my planks.

I had such an AMAZING work out today.

I forget how much your body needs a recharge (aka TIME OFF) from working out every once in a while.

Today was a nice reminder of that.

My son had his 6 month well check today.

Apparently, he's getting plenty of "nutrition".

Old boy weights a whopping 19lbs 8ozs and is 26.25inches long.

My daughter weighed 18lbs when she was 12 months old!!

Rolls. For. DAYS. 

One of my favorite things about having my husband home is cooking for him.

I live on chicken breasts and spinach salad when he's away (because it's so convenient), so it's nice to cook real home cooked meals again for him.

Nick and I don't eat bread, pasta, or starchy foods (potatoes, rice, etc.) unless we go out to eat (our cheat meals). 

 This recipe is an awesome alternative to mashed potatoes and one of my family's fave dishes...mashed "fauxtatoes"!

It's cauliflowers made like mashed potatoes.

None of the carbs, and delicious.

Recipe:

1 Head of cauliflower

1/4 Cup non fat Greek yogurt

4-5 roasted garlic cloves (I buy the roasted garlic cloves from the olive bar at Whole Foods)

3 Tbspns of goat cheese

Dash of Dried Oregano

Salt & Pepper

1. Clean and cut your cauliflower into florets.

2. Steam them until tender (roughly 10 minutes).

3. Pat dry the cauliflower on paper towels (this is important or they'll be watery!)

4. Toss in food processor with rest of the ingredients and puree.

5. Taste and add more salt/pepper/oregano to taste.

Hope y'all are having a great start of the week!

Mom's Day Out

Today is MY day!

A whole day to myself with no responsibilities.

The only thing I wanted from Nick when he got home was to have a day to myself to do whatever.

I'm currently having a glass of Pinot Grigio and blogging, cause these two things make me happy.

I posted this on my Facebook page last night:

Tomorrow...I am spending an entire day ALONE!!!! No carseats to deal with...no kids. Nick gets to play solo parent while I get to hang out at target, go to the mall, get a spray tan, a pedicure....maybe a martini (or 2). The possibilities are endless.

Mamas...you NEED time alone! When's the last time you had a day to yourself without your kids?!

I got a TON of "likes".

I also saw that some of my friends have never been apart from their kids for longer than a few hours (if at all)!

I can't imagine not ever taking some time for myself!

I spend 24/7 with my kids, and I take on 100% of the parental responsibilities every time that the military takes my husband away.

I NEED MY ALONE TIME!

And no...2 hours won't cut it for me.

I feel that to be the best mom I can be to my kids, I need the time to unwind, be alone, and get recharged every once in a while. 

Maybe it's not for everyone, but it sure is for me!

Alone time and date nights....that's the key to my sanity and my happy marriage!

So what did I do today, you ask?

First...

My husband and daughter cooked breakfast for me (like they do every Saturday).

It's become a family tradition.

Here's Mattis and I waiting patiently for our food to be ready...

 After breakfast...

I went to TARGET of course!

Minus the endless amounts of cash...in an envelope....I don't carry my cash in an envelope...that's super ghetto....but if you do...to each their own!

Here I am in all my glory with my tall skinny vanilla latte with soy browsing the aisles of "Tarjay" alone.

I silently laughed inside every time I saw a mom in there with her kids hanging off of her, hanging off her cart, a baby strapped to her, and/or a baby in the cart.

"HAHAHAHA....I bet you wish you were me in my cute skinny jeans, Uggs, and my Starbucks That's what I'm always thinking when I'm at Target any other day with my kids, and I see a woman in there alone just taking her time.

I ended up spending a good hour at Target, and surprisingly did not spend as much as I thought I would.

I came to the conclusion that I probably spend more at Target when I have my kids with me, because I don't really have time to think about my purchases until AFTER I'm home.

Next, I headed to the mall to do some shopping.

I felt super cool.

Sunglasses, country music blaring...

I own a Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, and I always thought the cool factor of being a Jeep owner went down a little when I have two kids in carseats in the back.

Today, I felt like the "cool" Jeep owner.

I spent two FANTABULOUS hours at the mall.

I ended up making a few awesome purchases.

This awesome tee from Express that is currently on sale for $23.94

This Metallic Jacquard flippy skirt from Express that is 50% off making it $24.95!

Camo print ankle legging pants from NY & Co. for $59.95.

All pants were buy 1 get 1 free, so I ordered another pair of just regular skinny jeans to be delivered to my house since they didn't have my size.

This denim blazer at NY & Co. for $74.95.

I seriously had such a great time by myself getting to actually SHOP.

I LOVE to shop, and because of my responsibilities to my kids, it's hard to find the time to really do some shopping alone.

I did some grocery shopping alone, and ran a few errands as well.

My brave husband took BOTH kids to the movie theater to watch the Lego Movie.

He said a few guys came up to him and called him "a brave man".

Of course both kids were angels for him, and our 6 month old gave him zero probs.

My husband even got my daughter dressed, AND did her hair.

He texted me this photo of her hair...

And told me he Youtubed how to do hair...lol.

He was so proud of himself.

I loved my day today.

I couldn't wait to get home and hug my kids, and tell my husband about all the great things I did.

I didn't get to do ALL the things I had originally planned (because my trip to the mall lasted longer than I had planned), but just spending 6 hours by myself was so nice.

It reminded me that my identity is so much more than "just a mom" and "wife". 

I'm a girl who loves to shop and a girl who loves fashion.

I'm a girl that loves to sip on her lattes slowly.

I'm a girl that loves to blare music in the Jeep (and if it weren't so cold, I'd have the windows down and the top off).

I'm a girl who loves nice handbags (it was so nice not to carry a diaper bag for once).

I really think (in my unprofessional opinion) that EVERY mom needs a day out or a night out by herself.

Taking a day away from your kids is not gonna hurt your kids or hurt you.

If anything, they need the time away from you.

Someone once told me, "Don't you think your kids get tired of you too?".

I feel completely rejuvenated, and I'm so ready to jump back into "mommy mode" when my husband goes back to work on Monday. 

So for now, I'm going to enjoy the rest of "my day", finish my glass of pinot grigio, and tonight, I'll be cooking dinner for my family.