Let's Talk About Turning 30

I was down the dumps this week for no reason at all.

I'm a woman, and I'm allowed to have hormonal moments.

My kids irritated me...

Nick irritated...

People at the gym irritated me....

It was just one of those weeks.

Yesterday, Nick came home with some flowers and a Cosmo (the magazine, not the drink...although the drink might have been nice too).

It definitely lifted my spirits, and gosh...I can't remember the last time I read a Cosmo.

Cosmo was my "single girl bible" back in my early twenties.

I've learned as I've gotten older (and more wiser) that most of what's in Cosmo is straight trash which is why I haven't picked one up in so long.

Still, I was excited that Nick picked one up for me, and I finally got to sit down this afternoon and skim through it.

Beyond the silly quizzes, "hot sex moves", and "slim down quick" articles, I came across one that I genuinely agreed with.

It's called, "Let's Talk About Turning 30".

It talked about 2 things you should know by the time you're 30, and 2 things you should have done by the time you're 30.

I agreed with all of them!

You can pick up a copy yourself if you want to know, but without details, they are:

 By 30, You Should Know:

1) How to fall in love without losing yourself

2) Whether or not you want to have children

By 30, You Should Have:

1) Stopped being boy crazy

2) A black lace bra, custom fitted

I started thinking about my life's lessons leading up to 30.

I decided to come up with my 2 things You Should Know, and 2 things You Should Have based on my life..

I turned 30 last March, and I've told so many people that I am happier at 30 than I ever was in my 20's, and getting older doesn't bother me like it used to in my 20's.

So here it is...

(And this is just MY opinion...feel free to disagree!!!)

2 Things You Should Know (by the time you're 30:

1) The number on the scale doesn't mean jack

I spent the majority of my 20's obsessing over my weight. I've dealt with disordered eating, yo-yo dieting, diet pills, extreme exercise....you name it...I've tried it. I let the number on the scale dictate my happiness and my worth. It wasn't until my late 20's that I realized that all those years I spent obsessing over a number on the scale, I could have been spending building a healthy lifestyle. At 30, I'm the fittest I've ever been, I eat what I want (in moderation), I drink wine, and most importantly...I'm not the skinniest I've ever been! I am the strongest I've ever been, and this trusty body has given birth to TWO babies! 

2) 30 doesn't mean your need to speed up life to accomplish things you said you would by 30

I know so many people who have a "30 by 30" list, or goals they wish to have accomplished by 30. They make it seem like 30 is this HUGE number, and if you haven't accomplished those things by 30, your life is total failure. I find it amusing because I feel like 30 is when I really started living my life. This is coming from the girl who spent 10 years (the majority of her 20's) as a Marine! But up until 30, I was still learning about myself, and learning to be comfortable in my own skin. Honestly, looking back at my 20's, I see a lost young girl who thought she knew everything. At 30, I'm going back to school, I'm a full time mom to 2 gorgeous children, a full time wife to a husband who loves me and respects me....

Notice, I didn't say "AMAZING HUSBAND"!

Actually, by 30, if you're married or in a relationship, let's stop talking about our "amazing husbands"....surely at 30, we can come up with some better adjectives than "amazing".

By 30, You Should Have: 

1) Retirement Plan (finances)

I'm so blessed to have gotten to work under such amazing leadership as a younger Marine, and was taught good financial management. After my first deployment to Iraq, 20 year old me walked into Edward Jones, and invested all my deployment money into a Roth IRA, and each deployment I went one, I invested all of it. If you know Marines, you know that most of us tend to come back from deployment and blow all of our hard earned combat pay on a cars and material possessions. But once someone showed me how much more money I'd have by the time I was 50 investing at 20 vs 30, I knew what I had to do. It's never too late to start investing for your future, but I honestly believe that by 30, you're pushing it.

2) An investment piece in your closet that is not Forever 21

I am all about a bargain, and cheap clothes! TRUST ME! But one thing my mom has taught me is about quality and timeless pieces. My mom has Louis Vuittons that are over 10-15 years old, and they have never gone out of a style. I'm not saying you need to go splurge on a $1000-$2000 dollar purse, but maybe saving up some money and buying a nice black dress from Nordstrom's... I have a pair of black patent leather Kate Spade peep toe heels that I bought while Nick was deployed to wear to his homecoming, and those heels remain in the nice satin bag they come with to protect it. I only wear them for special occasions. I have a couple timeless designer bags that I keep protected in bags knowing that one day, I'll be able to give them to my daughter. I just feel by the time you're 30, you should have at least ONE grown up SOMETHING in your closet.

I guess the thing I want people to get out of this is that 30 isn't the "end all". 

I have so many more dreams at 30 than I did when I was 18, 21, 25....

I look at life with a more careful approach rather than a "I'm gonna conquer the world" attitude like I did in my 20's.

Don't get me wrong, I had a LOT of fun in my 20's.

I've done things in the Marine Corps and been to places that most people will never do or see in their lifetimes. 

I'm fortunate for those opportunities, but honestly...

I have a feeling my next 10 years are gonna be way more awesome than my last 10.

A Couple, Some Wine, & A Date

Nick and I committed to going out on at least 2 date nights a month last year.

After struggling through some marital hurdles, and surviving the depressing winter, we made a "recommitment" to each other that we would take more time for ourselves.

That meant going out at least twice a month alone without the kids....keywords here are "without the kids".

I really feel these "date nights" are important to EVERY marriage, but especially to military marriages.

Speaking from experience, the Marine Corps is the most unpredictable job I've ever had (ok, ok...it's the ONLY paying job I've ever had).

Because of the nature of the beast, it's tough for military couples to really get to experience a "normal married life".

By normal, I mean a marriage that doesn't have to deal with deployments to dangerous places, deployments to far off lands, random training evolutions with no communication from anywhere from a week to 2 months, going to work at 0330 in the morning to check out weapons from the armory just to get home at 2000 (8pm), etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

I mean I really could do a whole blog post on the differences between a military marriage and a civilian marriage.

Even civilian marriages where either partner travels a lot of business and is gone a lot doesn't even compare to the challenges that comes with "this life". 

Random side note...

Never ever ever tell a military wife who's husband is on deployment...

"I know how you feel! My husband is gone for work ALL the time!"

Just.

Don't.

Go.

There.

Since moving the Texas, life has just been so hectic.

With moving into our new home, settling in, getting Dannika in school, gymnastics, and dance...

Then Thanksgiving came along...

My grandma got sick...

Nick's mum passed away...

Nick left for a week to England to attend her funeral...

My grandma passed away...

Christmas....

Life has been non stop since moving here, and we've barely had a chance to breathe, let alone go out on a date night!

Last weekend, Nick surprised me with reservations at a local winery here for dinner, wine, and conversation without the kids!

We realized it was our first date night since moving to Texas!!!!

Nick got our neighbors to baby sit our kids, and we headed to the Messina Hof Winery in Bryan, TX for our date night.

I don't consider myself a "wine connoisseur", but I do know what kinds of wines I like and dislike.

Messina Hof wines have never ever disappointed me, and it's one of the things on my list of "things I missed about College Station" list!

So happy to be getting out without the kids!

When Nick and I were dating, he used to always make me sit in the middle of the seat in his truck (he had bench seats), so that I would be close to him.

He could put his arm around me or hold my hand while driving.

It was the sweetest gesture, and it might be one of the things that won me over. 

Well his new truck has a bench seat, and it's seriously one of my favorite parts of the truck!

I get to sit RIGHT NEXT to my man!

A gorgeous sunset overlooking the vineyard.

My favorite bottle of wine ever...Messina Hof's pinot grigio

He cleans up nice, huh?

The family that owns the winery has some deep roots with the Marine Corps...

 I never realize just how important these little moments together are (without distractions or kids) until I'm in the moment.

We are separated so much throughout are marriages that when we are together, we tend to overlook the little details.

Here's to a year filled with more date nights, and definitely more wine!

 

The New Years "Resolutioners"

As a long time "gym goer", I've always dreaded this time of year.

I've even taken the month of January off from the gym and stuck to at home work outs just to avoid it.

For my fellow "gym buffs", y'all know that this is when the "New Years resolutioners" hit the gym in full force causing crowding in gyms all across the nation.

 

Completely shameless "gym selfie".

 

My definition of a "New Years resolutioner"...

Someone who:

1) Doesn't normally work out regularly

2) Feels guilty about what they ate during the holidays (Thanksgiving until now)

3) Is normally a "gym goer", but stopped going over the holidays, and is trying to "get back on the train"

 

And lastly...

 

4) Made a New Years resolution to lose weight and get in shape this year (as they do EVERY year).

Their motto is always, "This is THE year! For real this time!"

 

To be honest, these people used to annoy me.

They used to annoy me to all hell!!!

I used to enjoy watching the gym become less and less packed as the month of January wore on.

It meant people were saying "screw it", and going back to their old ways.

Then I could finally have "my gym" back with all the "regulars" I was used to seeing.

 

As I've gotten older and "more mature" (not totally mature yet....lol), I've learned to be a little bit more patient and grew a little more compassion in my heart.

 

With the obesity rate in America at an all time high, and diseases like diabetes and heart disease being so rampant amongst us, I am all about a "healthier America".

After the New Year, I went to my gym at the same time I always do with a positive outlook.

I had the mentality that maybe I can motivate someone to continue coming for the rest of their life instead of quitting a month into it.

While statistically, the gym will start dying down once the end of the month comes, I hope that at least ONE person decides to change their lifestyle for a healthier, fitter life.

So instead of being annoyed at the crowds in the gym, and being annoyed that I had to wait for a machine...

 I switched up my work out to accommodate the machines that WERE open,

Something as simple as changing your attitude and your outlook at the gym can make your January gym experience way more enjoyable.

 

Motivate someone...and take more gym selfies!

I like to take candid photos of my hot husband while he lifts/squats.

Another shameless gym selfie!

New Years Block Party

 I guess I can start with a "YAY FOR AN AGGIE BOWL GAME WIN!"

We didn't have the greatest season, but I'm just happy we ended on a high note.

Here's to next season!

Ever since having children, New Year's Eve has become way different for us parents than before we had kids.

The nights of partying till the wee hours of the morning are over. 

OVER.

I believe last year, we all stayed up and played Kinects bowling (exciting, huh?).

Dannika was determined to stay up until midnight, and she insisted she was just going to take a little nap at 1030 that evening because she was tired.

She didn't wake up, and she missed the big count down.

Nick and I stayed up, had a glass of peach champagne, and went to bed.

#lifeafterkids

But, this year, Nick and I had planned to hire a sitter and pay an outrageous amount of money (for working on New Year's Eve of course) so that we could go out and enjoy ourselves.

I even looked up some New Year's Eve parties that were going on around town.

But, at the end of the day, finding a sitter was dang near impossible, and we didn't want to drive all the way down to Houston to leave our kids with my parents.

So we went with plan B.

We found out none of our neighbors had plans, and we collectively decided to do a block party!

Nick got a new smoker for Christmas, so of course he had to smoke some meat!

pork shoulder and ribs!! yum yum!

 One of the last sunsets of 2015...

Texas style New Years...

Football game on a flat screen outside, fire pit, smoker, BBQ grill....

First pic of us as a couple for 2015!!!!

Friends :)

New Years was a blast.

We ate tons of food, drank some good beer and wine, laughed until the wee hours of the morning, and most importantly spent it with awesome people.

Dannika stayed up until JUST BEFORE midnight before she passed out...maybe next year... :)

We spent New Years day just lounging on the couch and watching TV in our jammies.

It was a perfect start to 2015.

I took ALL my Christmas decorations down the day after New Years.

It felt good to declutter, and get rid of all the glitter, garland, lights, and trees.

Here's to a wonderful 2015!

The Romer Family Year In Review

This year has been such a crazy year for our family.

We experienced every emotion from sadness, grief, and anger to happiness, excitement, and joyfulness.

We experienced all these emotions to the extreme!

I can honestly say that in our 7 years of marriage, this was the toughest year for Nick and I.

We realized at the beginning of the year that all the separations and deployments we had faced as a couple had caught up to our marriage.

Reintegration reared it's ugly head into our family, but lucky for us, we had God on our side.

With a lot of hard work, prayer, and counseling, we overcame our obstacles, and it made our family unit and our marriage that much stronger.

We also experienced two deaths at the end of the year, and it hit our little family like a freight train.

I like to say that I am pretty honest and straightforward in my blog.

I write about my struggles, our family's struggles, and just life in general.

I hope that through my blog, it can give people hope, and a sense of feeling that they are not alone...especially my fellow military families.

I realize how taxing "this life" can be emotionally, and I hope that by sharing a little slice of my life with y'all...the good and the bad...you can get something out of it.

So here are the highlights of our year!

 Enjoy!

We spent the first two months of the year separated (surprise!).

Nick went to the advanced course for GySgts in Quantico.

And of course he left us during the snowiest time of year in New England.

We tried to make the best of it.

 Nick even flew home over some of the long weekends he had to hang out with us!

Dannika started dance this year at Miss HeeJin's Dance studio in Natick!

She had her very first recital this Spring.

Sleeves went back up in the Marine Corps!

I know a lot of very happy Marine wives.

Sleeves up, Guns out!

We became the proud owners of a 1972 Chevelle SS!

Nick ended up flipping it and selling it when we moved to Texas and made a profit on it!

Nick seriously injured his eye playing dodgeball at a work function.

He got a hyphema in his eye.

It was an extremely stressful time for our family since he was scheduled to go to OCS just a month before this happened!

Luckily he had a full recovery!

For my 30th birthday, Nick took us to California.

We got to visit friends, go the Disneyland, and he put together a little party for me at my favorite restaurant in the OC!

Nick got me a new car for our anniversary!

Nick was selected at the beginning of the year for the Marine Corps' MECEP program.

It's a highly competitive enlisted to officer program in the Marine Corps.

This meant that he would once again, leave us for almost 3 months this summer to attend Officer Candidates' School.

This was the morning he left.

Dannika finished preschool!

Dannika turned 5 this July, and because Nick wasn't home, our amazing neighbors threw her a 5th birthday party at their house!

We were truly blessed in 2014 with some pretty awesome neighbors.

FINALLY...

We waited 10 long weeks....

Our little family flew down to Quantico, VA to watch Nick graduate from OCS!

He graduated with honors on the CO's list!

We were so proud of him!

It was definitely one of my proudest moments as Nick's wife!

Nick got home just in time for us to celebrate his 31st birthday with the neighbors and the family!

My sweet sweet Dannika Jane became a KINDERGARTENER!!!

How did this happen!?

We took a trip to St. Louis to watch a dear friend that we met in California get married!

Nick said his farewell to Boston University!

We bought our second home in Texas, and Nick became a Texas resident! (hooray!)

We ended the year losing Nick's mum and my grandma.

With the whirlwind of a year that we had, we didn't think much more could possibly happen.

Through their passing, our family's gotten much closer and a lot stronger.

I am so thankful that we have each other for support, and I am so grateful that we live close to my family.

I don't know how we would have gotten through this difficult time without them!

Here's to a better 2015, and living a life that would make mum and my grandma proud!